[lulu05]

If you aren't already, I would recommend staying outside with her until she either decides to pee or makes it clear she's not ready. We keep a big golf umbrella for such situations. As others have said, bring her back inside and try again in 20-30 minutes if she doesn't get down to business within 5 minutes. Your observation that she might not empty herself fully the first time she squats is a really good one. (A lot of people don't notice when their dog has this tendency. Good job!)

Since you got her so recently, it's possible she's simply not familiar with the surfaces outside your door. My most recent puppy was born during the pandemic. I'm not sure he had ever even been outside. He knew tile and carpet. He was completely weirded out by wood decking, grass, dirt, and asphalt. Luckily we had an older dog to mentor him. Within a few days he was happily toddling after the big dog for the most part, even out into a a late spring snowstorm we had. However, he did occasionally revert and get weird about putting paws on grass for his first few weeks with us. It usually happened when he was tired and stressed. (Sorry little dude, deal with it. I'm not redoing my entire landscape with slate and artificial turf because a certain naive puppy thinks the world should be lightly textured.)

Another problem I had with him was that he tended to freeze and then pee in front of doors when he needed to go out. It's like the act of stepping through the door would short circuit his brain. (Perhaps he'd gotten caught in a door by either me or his breeder. Who knows?) I got a couple of cheap vinyl backed picnic blankets and put them in front of the doors when he was still in this phase. Washable incontinence pads, the kind used to protect mattresses from bed wetting, also worked really well to protect my carpet and wood floors.

She is definitely unfamiliar with any and all outside surfaces! It’s hard because she’s still got a few days before she can go out properly - but my vet said the alleyway behind my house would be fine, as, if there have ever been any dogs there, I haven’t seen them, so it’s fairly unlikely they’ve been there recently enough to leave illness behind. That is all grass, and I carried Nina out to look at it this morning, then practiced lead training this afternoon, and let her take a few steps on the grass. She looked very confused! But she enjoyed it, I think.

To be fair to her, my back yard isn’t very nice. It’s at the bottom of a long list of issues I need to address with my house, sadly. But it is outside space, so she’ll have to get used to it, sadly!

(She’s sulking right now because I ate a chocolate biscuit and didn’t give her any. She’s only had about ten treats today, so it’s super mean of me to keep the dog-poison biscuit away from her…)

 

[lulu05]

Don't use the cue word until she is actually performing - she needs to associate the word with the act before you can use it to cue her. I also suggest different words for peeing and pooing.



Definitely do that, or event tuck her into your jacket, and get her out seeing, hearing and smelling all the stuff that's out there. Her brain physiology changes at 16 weeks and it will be tremendously helpful for her development to have lots of (positive) experience of the world.

There's a helpful chart here -

View attachment 260101

To update on this - I took Nina to the park today. She was terrified and I almost took her home, but I was already holding her and i didn’t want to validate the fear response, so I persevered. At the start of the walk, she was terrified (shaking, even whining) of: cars, other dogs, unknown humans. Now, she appears to be afraid of none of these things, but she has somehow developed an idea that humans exist only to worship her, and other dogs exist to be held perfectly still while she is lowered down by her loyal subjects to get a sniff at them from a safe distance. (She obviously really wanted to play with the dogs, and I was so sad to not be able to let her - but safety first etc).

I think this will become part of my daily routine (and we’ll have to work out some sort of 75/25 carrying/walking deal when Nina is allowed to walk out, because it’s pretty far away for puppy legs but she loved it there! The nearer ones aren’t half as friendly.

I actually think I might need some dog circles socialisation. When carrying a tiny puppy, who goes off into typical tiny puppy behaviour such as squirming, barking, growling etc, am I supposed to apologise for her? Pretend to try and stop her (which I can’t do - she’s only just learned “sit”. She doesn’t know “quiet” or anything yet!), or, act as I genuinely feel which is that it’s no big deal, and just puppyness, and expect others to understand too? I have a feeling that it’s like when your kids misbehave in public - you’re supposed to show you’re correcting the behaviour - but she is only a baby…

 

[Curls]

I don't know what options are available for puppy kindergarten in the UK. If you were here in the US I would suggest that you enroll your pup in the AKC Puppy Star class. Perhaps one of the UK members could offer suggestions.

Something to remember about puppy socialization is that the quality is just as important as the quantity. It's not beneficial to make going outside a sensory overload experience equivalent to a Halloween Haunted Hayride. And, every puppy is different. My most recent puppy was totally fine with traffic noises, but he was freaked out by different footing textures. The one before that was comfortable playing on any sort of surface but was scared of cars.

With very small puppies I think it's good to observe new things from a safe distance while offering them treats. With my puppy that was scared of cars I took him to a footpath with a clear view of a nearby highway. Then we just sat on the footpath enjoying the warm sun. He wandered in circles sniffing bugs and leaves. I watched for motorcycles and noisy landscaping trailers. Every time I saw a noisy vehicle approaching I would call him onto my lap and start feeding him treats. If something was really scary I would pull my coat around him. After two sessions of this he was much calmer about scary noisy cars. He learned they didn't leave the road to chase him. He also learned that he didn't need to face scary things on his own. He learned that I would protect him and give him a safe place to hide under my coat, if needed. He became much braver about exploring scary things when he knew I had his back.

I learned to ignore a lot of disapproving or skeptical looks as I was raising my puppies. Everyone has an opinion about how to raise youngsters, whether it's children or puppies. You get the people who want you to discipline the kid for acting out, and you get the people who want you to feed the kid nothing but organic vegan foods. Guess what, if I'm trying to get an autistic kid to hold it together long enough to get home on the tram, I'm perfectly happy to hand that kid a sugary artificially flavored cherry pop and set him down in front of the no eating sign. Same with puppies. Listen to what the puppy tells you she needs in that moment, not what the busybodies tell you.

 

[JoanneF]

She was terrified and I almost took her home, but I was already holding her and i didn’t want to validate the fear response

You can't validate fear. You are mixing up emotions and behaviours. Suppose you were terrified of snakes - if I comforted you, you wouldn't become more afraid of them, would you? Please have a look at this thread -

https://www.dogforum.com/posts/3651790/

dogs exist to be held perfectly still while she is lowered down by her loyal subjects to get a sniff at them from a safe distance. (She obviously really wanted to play with the dogs, and I was so sad to not be able to let her - but safety first etc).

Personally, I'd avoid her meeting other dogs. I aim for my dog to be dog neutral, neither afraid of other dogs, or magnetised to them at the cost of him not being engaged with me. Her socialisation should be more about exposure than interaction.

am I supposed to apologise for her?

No, if people don't understand, that's their problem. It's a phase, she will outgrow it. Just ignore them, unless you really want to say it's only her first week.

Edited to add, cross-posted what th @Curls. Here, we have the Canine Good Citizen scheme that you might want to look for. Your trainer may offer it.

 

[lulu05]

I don't know what options are available for puppy kindergarten in the UK. If you were here in the US I would suggest that you enroll your pup in the AKC Puppy Star class. Perhaps one of the UK members could offer suggestions.

Something to remember about puppy socialization is that the quality is just as important as the quantity. It's not beneficial to make going outside a sensory overload experience equivalent to a Halloween Haunted Hayride. And, every puppy is different. My most recent puppy was totally fine with traffic noises, but he was freaked out by different footing textures. The one before that was comfortable playing on any sort of surface but was scared of cars.

With very small puppies I think it's good to observe new things from a safe distance while offering them treats. With my puppy that was scared of cars I took him to a footpath with a clear view of a nearby highway. Then we just sat on the footpath enjoying the warm sun. He wandered in circles sniffing bugs and leaves. I watched for motorcycles and noisy landscaping trailers. Every time I saw a noisy vehicle approaching I would call him onto my lap and start feeding him treats. If something was really scary I would pull my coat around him. After two sessions of this he was much calmer about scary noisy cars. He learned they didn't leave the road to chase him. He also learned that he didn't need to face scary things on his own. He learned that I would protect him and give him a safe place to hide under my coat, if needed. He became much braver about exploring scary things when he knew I had his back.

I learned to ignore a lot of disapproving or skeptical looks as I was raising my puppies. Everyone has an opinion about how to raise youngsters, whether it's children or puppies. You get the people who want you to discipline the kid for acting out, and you get the people who want you to feed the kid nothing but organic vegan foods. Guess what, if I'm trying to get an autistic kid to hold it together long enough to get home on the tram, I'm perfectly happy to hand that kid a sugary artificially flavored cherry pop and set him down in front of the no eating sign. Same with puppies. Listen to what the puppy tells you she needs in that moment, not what the busybodies tell you.

I hear you on the childcare opinions - I currently work for children’s services and have a really comprehensive understanding of trauma and attachment - and the other day someone told me that the embroidery I’d put on a coat for my friend’s baby was dangerous because she might trap her fingers in it and break them. (Her arms couldn’t even get that high!). I feel like people are getting more informed about autism but only as it pertains to high functioning people - they might understand special interests or slight social awkwardness but probably not a full on meltdown, or even the non-verbal, low functioning degree of ASC.

Anyway, not to go off on a tangent about my own specialist subject - but it probably does apply to Nina. She was lucky in her Mum and her breeders, and stayed there for a full twelve weeks, and I’d visited a few times before I brought her home - when she was ready. So, I think she has pretty secure attachment and not much trauma, which is good! I feel a little more comfortable stretching/challenging her fear responses - on a safe way, with me there to comfort and support - because it’s obvious that she does have that secure attachment to me and trusts me to keep her safe. E.g. When she whined at another dog and I said in a calm tone, “it’s ok, Nina, it’s just a little dog…” she stopped whining and gradually became less tense. So, I’m not trying to rush her, but I want her to see and smell all the fun things I know she’ll love, without too much fear and hesitancy holding her back. I’m a bit of a “jump in the deep end” type, though, so that’s probably partially why.

It’s all in moderation! I’m not going to dump her into a situation that terrifies her - but I think a gentle challenge is ok!

We have a few things like AKC, but the Dogs’ Trust puppy training is probably the kind of thing you mean. Unfortunately there isn’t one near me. They offer it online, but that takes out a lot of the socialisation aspects. However, there’s a doggydaycare with amazing reviews, where the owners can bring their dogs and even just stay for for half an hour, watching their pup play, before taking them home. I’ve considered dipping my toes into that with Nina - since I’d be right there to know she’s fine! She will eventually have to attend a daycare once or twice a month, and if this one is really good, it may be worth getting her accustomed!

 

[lulu05]

You can't validate fear. You are mixing up emotions and behaviours. Suppose you were terrified of snakes - if I comforted you, you wouldn't become more afraid of them, would you? Please have a look at this thread -

https://www.dogforum.com/posts/3651790/

Personally, I'd avoid her meeting other dogs. I aim for my dog to be dog neutral, neither afraid of other dogs, or magnetised to them at the cost of him not being engaged with me. Her socialisation should be more about exposure than interaction.



No, if people don't understand, that's their problem. It's a phase, she will outgrow it. Just ignore them, unless you really want to say it's only her first week.

Edited to add, cross-posted what th @Curls. Here, we have the Canine Good Citizen scheme that you might want to look for. Your trainer may offer it.

Yes of course - validate the feeling but not the reality. If someone knows their fear is irrational, it doesn’t necessarily go away, but if the fear is based in a misconception, correcting it through experience can help! Like my Mum reading tens of articles about dangerous dogs and developing a major fear of any and all dogs, before meeting Hector, the cocker spaniel who changed her life (and whole attitude to pups in general). So, I can validate that Nina is genuinely scared but not that she is in any genuine danger. This is how we try to do it with the kids at work anyway - acknowledge they feel unsafe, reassure them they are actually now safe, and try to work towards a point where their emotional response matches their reality.

I don’t mind Nina wanting to interact with dogs - it’ll just be me and her at home most of the time anyway, so I’m sure we’ll have a tight bond. But I will need to watch out for her being overly enthusiastic to the point of being uncontrollable. It’s fine now, as a 3 month old puppy. Less fine if it becomes a permanent habit, that she can’t listen or hear me while other dogs are around. (Like an image-conscious teenager!)

 

[storyist]

How long do you keep your dogs out at the half hour intervals?

Sorry not to answer sooner. I can't say for sure but would guess a week to 10 days. Long enough to set in puppy mind that eliminating outside provokes a great response from a human.