Socializing a dog is something that is often misunderstood. I think many people think it means introducing your dog to as many people and dogs as possible, but really this is not the best approach, as you have discovered.

Not all dogs want to meet every other dog, just the same as not all people want to meet everyone that comes along. If you encourage your dog to meet and greet with other dogs without knowing fully ahead of time what kind of temperament the other dog has, the result is just what you have experienced.

Now, I offer to you the possibility of looking at this from your dog's perspective. As far as he sees, what has happened is that you made him meet some others who were rude and aggressive and even violent to him. Naturally, that made him afraid and defensive and unenthusiastic about meeting more strangers. You continued to make him meet other dogs, and since from his perspective you had not become aware of his fear and his need to keep a distance from them, or else (also from his point of view) you were ignoring his needs, he felt he had no choice but to move on to being aggressive in order to protect himself, since it seemed to him that you were not going to do it. If you put yourself in his place, maybe that will help you. The first step in dealing with this kind of thing, or really anything with our dogs, is to do our very best to understand them and their perspective on it - to put ourselves in their place.

At this point, the thing you need most is not more attempts to socialize your dog. You need instead to build trust between you and your dog. Your dog has had the experience of being attacked because you wanted him to get close to another dog, and what you need to do now is teach him that you will never allow that to happen again.

Do not attempt to get him to meet other dogs or new people at all right now. Absolutely do not take him to any kind of class or a dog park. Instead, if you are in a place where there are other dogs, say at a public park, and another dog is headed your way, either turn around and go the other way or veer off in a way that keeps as much space as possible between you and the other dog. If another dog is coming down the sidewalk, cross the street. Stay completely calm and upbeat with your dog while doing this, and make it clear to him that you are not going to make him get any closer at all to that dog or person.

When I have done this with my dog, I say in an ordinary tone of voice, "Hey, let's just go this way" and then veer off. Now you need to never allow him to get close enough to anyone that he feels he needs to do warning nips. He needs to know that you understand his need to keep a distance and that you will respect and honor that.

This dog of yours might not be a dog who even wants to meet others, and if that's the case you need to accept and honor that and love him for who he is. Not all dogs want to meet other dogs. I had a border collie who had never had a bad experience with another dog, but he just was not interested in other dogs. He was, as many BCs are, more of a human-focused dog. Even though it's understandable that you want your dog to have friends, the important thing is whether or not he wants to have friends.

For now, keep him far enough away from other dogs and people that he is not nervous or anxious at all. Watch his body language very closely so that you know his "tells" when he is getting nervous or anxious. (And you can look up "dog body language" and learn what to look for). As soon as you see the sign(s), you know you are too close. Move farther away, until he is no longer anxious, and calmly allow the other dog and/or person to go by while you hand him yummy treats. Or turn and go the other way entirely, so that he doesn't even need to see the other dog. You will be at this stage of things for some time, probably several weeks at least, so please don't be in a hurry.

Eventually he may become calm and no longer anxious at that distance, and you can find out if it is OK with him to get just a little bit, maybe a foot or two, closer. Don't rush it. If he starts to get anxious, remove him from the situation and take him some place where he can be relaxed again.

I think that reading the experiences and training done by other people on this forum who have had reactive dogs might also help you. If you search for threads dealing with reactivity you will find many posts by people who have helped their dogs towards overcoming anxiety and reactivity with other dogs and people. I have a dog who came to me as a puppy very anxious and reactive due to trauma in his early life. It has been a very slow process, but he has made tremendous progress in the past 2 years. Another member here, @Laco has also made great progress with their dog.

I also recommend you check out the videos by KIKOPUP on YouTube. She has excellent training videos that explain everything well and demonstrate the techniques, and she has some that talk about reactivity in dogs.

I personally do not want to have a dog who meets every other dog. There are inherent dangers in this, from the aggression you have already discovered to the possibility of catching viruses or parasites from other dogs you don't know. Not all dogs want to have "dog friends", and it is not by any means necessary in order for a dog to have a good and happy life.

And speaking of that, I have had several border collies and have fostered many. My experience is that sometimes border collies do not make good potential friends with other breeds. Because they have been bred for thousands of generations to herd livestock, they have certain play styles, like staring and stalking, that other dogs can misinterpret as aggressive. I don't know if this has happened with your BC, but it is a possibility. Also, border collies are extremely sensitive dogs, and a traumatic event like being attacked can cause them to be wary for years or even for a lifetime.

Please be patient and very gentle with your dog and allow him to set the pace with this.
And let us know how this goes.

 

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate all the advice you have given!

After researching dog psychology for about a year, reading books, and watching dog training shows/videos, I do try and stay alert on his behavior and tells. For the most part, when I see another dog coming, I will let the other owner know my dog is not friendly and will keep Teddy on the other side of me and prompt him to keep moving in an upbeat tone and/or will go in another direction.

It really gets hard when the other owner or dog is reactive and/or my dog seems to wants to play or say hi (he does have a tendency to want to see the other dog but if the other dog is too reactive, comes on too strong, or sometimes even after a few minutes of meeting, Teddy is done with the interaction). As an owner who does everything in their power to make sure my dog is safe and comfortable, I also want to make sure no harm is done to another.

Thank you again for all the advice!

 

@embr, It is hard indeed when the other dog owner wants to engage. That is why I always keep my dog at a distance far enough that this doesn't happen. I have also responded to other people when they want their dog to meet mine with "No, no thanks" in a friendly tone of voice, so that they keep away. I have even gone so far as putting up my hand in a stop motion if they keep coming.

It sounds from what you say in your second post as if you are already aware of some of the things that I suggested, and are doing them, so I apologize if I gave advice on something you already know.

 

No worries at all. I appreciate any and all advice!

 

With our dog, I never really has as a goal, that she should be happy and friendly to meet any person or dog, but felt that just getting her to be neutral was very reasonable. She does like some other dogs she meets, and is quite neutral with others, same with people, and I am perfectly OK with that response. Its so different than when she first came to us and all she wanted to do was get at every dog and person she saw, barking lunging and snarling non-stop. Some folks that have know her since we first adopted her, have commented that its difficult to believe she is the same dog.

 

I think neutral is a great place to be, especially if the dog is more comfortable! Do you mind sharing what worked for you?

 

My advice aligns with Madra Anamchara. I would dial back your goals. Don't worry about him having doggy friends. Don't try to make him into something he's not. If he was a working collie he wouldn't be encouraged to wander off and play with other dogs. He would be expected to pay attention to his work and ignore the other dogs unless they were on the job with him. I would focus on encouraging him to be neutral to other dogs.

 

Thank you. This does make sense and looking at it again, I see the socialization may be more for me than for him.