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My dog doesn't like me

11K views 20 replies 14 participants last post by  Watry  
#1 ·
Hello there, Around a month ago Me and my older brother brought home a 6 weeks old rottweiler puppy. I have been spending most if not my whole day for the last month at home taking care of him while my brother does nothing.

I am the one who feeds, waters, showers, grooms, trains, give him toys to play with and take the dog out on the roof to roam every 1 hour and I am the one who plays with him most. So I got to say it pretty much feels like shit that after all I'm doing for him the dog doesn't like or respect me, he doesn't follow me and never listens to me unless i have a toy or treat that he wants while on the other hand he listens to my brother who does nothing for him other than play with him, he follows him everywhere. He basically can't stay away from him when he's around even If i'm there and calling for him. so you see where my problem is! After all I'm doing for him, he doesn't think of me as his owner and pack leader.

I really need your advice asap on why this is happening and what I can do because this is pissing me off to the point that i'm thinking of selling him.

Oh and P.S:
I deal with unwanted behaviors with negative enforcement by saying a firm NO when he's doing something wrong such as chewing and taking him away from the clothes he was chewing for instance. If he does it multiple times after me saying no I crate him.

Thanks for your taking your time to read this.
Waiting for your replies
 
#2 · (Edited)
Hello there, Around a month ago Me and my older brother brought home a 6 weeks old rottweiler puppy. I have been spending most if not my whole day for the last month at home taking care of him while my brother does nothing.

I am the one who feeds, waters, showers, grooms, trains, give him toys to play with and take the dog out on the roof to roam every 1 hour and I am the one who plays with him most. So I got to say it pretty much feels like shit that after all I'm doing for him the dog doesn't like or respect me, he doesn't follow me and never listens to me unless i have a toy or treat that he wants while on the other hand he listens to my brother who does nothing for him other than play with him, he follows him everywhere. He basically can't stay away from him when he's around even If i'm there and calling for him. so you see where my problem is! After all I'm doing for him, he doesn't think of me as his owner and pack leader.

I really need your advice asap on why this is happening and what I can do because this is pissing me off to the point that i'm thinking of selling him.

Oh and P.S:
I deal with unwanted behaviors with negative enforcement by saying a firm NO when he's doing something wrong such as chewing and taking him away from the clothes he was chewing for instance. If he does it multiple times after me saying no I crate him.

Thanks for your taking your time to read this.
Waiting for your replies

You answered your own question. I would be willing to bet that the dog is afraid of you because you yell at him for no apparent reason. You have to remember that dog's dont speak or understand english, so what you are doing is making a loud noise at him that probably scares him and he has no idea why.

also he is a dog, he has no motivation to look at you as or to be your pack leader because dogs do not adhere to "pack" rules. There is no alpha role to be filled by you. Anything you have ever heard about this subject is patently false.

He follows your brother around because your brother is a source of all positive experiences for him (play) and im guessing he has no reason to fear him.

Also 6 weeks is really young to remove a puppy from its mom and littermates, you may have some issues with unwanted behaviors because of this

Now to the advice part:

ONLY use positive reinforcement training. Instead of corrections, you should be redirecting his biting to an approriate toy. There is an entire section on DF dedicated to resources for learning how to use positive reinforcement. Ill include the link http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/ there is a plethora of information in there that will help you to "right the ship" and have a wonderful and loving puppy!

Good luck
 
#3 ·
I agree with everything sullyrules said. I came to add that you may want to start looking for trainers in your area that can help you as soon as the dog is old enough. Rotties are strong willed dogs, and can be difficult to train. Add on top of that that this one was removed from his parents 2 weeks early you may be facing hurdles in training in the future.
 
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#4 ·
Sullyrules is exactly right.

I advise you to think of him as a baby and not a miniature dog. When you got him he was the equivalent of a 1 year old baby. Would you yell at a 1 year old baby for putting stuff in their mouths or pulling your hair? Right now he's around the age of 2 year old baby.

Every time you yell at him you turn yourself into a giant monster from his point of view. Puppies natural gravitate to where they feel safest, he doesn't feel safe with you so he goes to your brother. Stop all negative reinforcement all it will do is further ruin your relationship with your puppy, it can also have all sorts of unintended consequences such as making the puppy fearful and reactive. Here's some links for you to read.

http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/suppression-modification-shutdown-fallout-4776/
http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/dominance-dogs-4076/
http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/4-quadrants-operant-conditioning-23702/
http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/helpful-training-videos-articles-11426/
http://www.dogforum.com/dog-training/thoughts-training-food-1219/
http://www.dogforum.com/dog-behavior/calming-signals-10084/

If you want him to follow you and hang with you then start making all his experiences with you positive. When he does something he's not supposed to redirect him to something he's supposed to do, but do it calmly no yelling, no fussing at him. If he persist then yes putting him in his crate or removing him from the room is fine but put him in the crate with a nice chew or stuffed kong, so it's a time for him to calm down and not a punishment.

Puppies and dogs do not think the way we do. He does not think, "Look at all he's doing for me! I'd better start showing my gratitude by respecting him and following him." . They follow us because they trust us, they obey us because they've figured out either that if they do either something great could happen to them, or if they don't something horrid happens. Personally I'd rather have my dog obey because he trust me and he thinks maybe something really good will happen, then if he doesn't I turn into a monster.
 
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#5 ·
That's what I had in mind. My brother never corrects the dog and just lets him do what he wants. so I guess I will follow your advice and stop using any negative enforcement but just one question.
What do I do when the dog pees in the house if not use negative attitude? What I do is, I tell him NO if i catch him peeing and then lift him in the air and put him in his crate so if not that what else to tell him that peeing inside the house is a bad thing
 
#8 ·
Housetraining is about him forming the habit of pottying where you want him to, once he forms that habit he won't want to pee in the house. All that fussing at him and punishing him for pottying in the house will do is teach him that you do not like to see him pottying, so he'll sneak off to pee when you aren't looking. He won't learn that it's pottying in the house that is causing you to get upset.

Here's a link that will help you housetrain him http://www.dogforum.com/housebreaking-puppies/house-training-how-tos-2135/
 
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#6 ·
I know there are a lot of new ways to positively train your dog, but I only know what I have tried that worked. If I don't catch them in the act I do nothing, they wont understand why they are in trouble. If I do see them start I make a sound like "UhOH" and pick them up and put them outside. If they do tinkle I give lots of praise and treat. Any spots in the house must be cleaned with an enzyme cleaning to get rid of the smell. Depending on the dog it could take days, weeks or months for them to be fully housebroken. It depends on the dog. My girl trained in a few days, my boy took almost a year.

Also, walk them a lot and anytime they tinkle or poop give lots of praise and show them how great it is to go outside.

Patience and love has always worked for me. If I get mad and yell at something, like the TV (yes, I do do that)my dogs just look at me and come over for me to pet. They have no fear of me because they know I would never do anything to hurt them.

Asking for help shows you care. Your dog will love you when he realizes you are not a scary person. Good Luck and keep us posted.
 
#7 ·
If he is peeing in the house it is your fault for not taking him outside enough. If you want him to learn to pee outside you need to take him out often and give him a treat when he goes outside. Putting him in his crate when he pees is teaching him nothing. At six weeks puppies are like babies, when they have to go, they go. They do not even realize they have to go yet. You would not get mad at a baby for peeing in their diapers, would you?
 
#11 ·
If he is peeing in the house it is your fault for not taking him outside enough. If you want him to learn to pee outside you need to take him out often and give him a treat when he goes outside. Putting him in his crate when he pees is teaching him nothing. At six weeks puppies are like babies, when they have to go, they go. They do not even realize they have to go yet. You would not get mad at a baby for peeing in their diapers, would you?
I'm not sure if this is quite correct - it's not the owner's fault that an unhousetrained puppy sometimes pees inside. All puppies pee inside sometimes - no matter how often you take them out, every owner misjudges it sometimes and accidents happen.

Perhaps I've misinterpreted your post, but it just sounded to me like you're saying that there should be no accidents right from the beginning, and that if there are then you've not taken him outside enough, so I would just like to clarify to OmarElbasha that you should not expect perfection right away. Sometimes you just won't read the signals he's about to go fast enough, and sometimes he might decide to go inside even though he's just been outside!


To your main question about him not liking you: I'm actually not so sure that he's frightened of you. Does he show any signs he's frightened? I am not condoning negative training methods, but saying "no" to a dog, or even shouting it wouldn't necessarily make a dog frightened - it really depends on the dog - and even if a dog is frightened of a person, they won't necessarily avoid them or not come when called. There are many good reasons why you do not want to frighten your dog, but the reason that kind of training method is so widely used is because sometimes it does seem to work - the dog may well pay attention. So while you really don't want him to be obeying you out of fear, I'm not certain fear is the reason he's more responsive to your brother than to you.

From your post, I'm just wondering if perhaps this is more about your relationship with your brother than with the dog. Did you agree that your brother was to help look after the dog as well? Have you asked him why he is leaving so much of the work up to you?

I'm just wondering why this is frustrating you so much. You said the dog is only interested in you when you have a treat - dogs are fickle in this way! My dog loves me, but if I'm cuddling with her and someone else offers her food, she'll be off like a shot with no thoughts for me!

It's just bothering me a bit that you said you're thinking of selling him over this. The family dog we had when I was a child paid most attention to my dad, but I certainly never have considered rehoming him over it! You've got to show some loyalty to him too: do you love him for the dog that he is, or does your affection towards him depend on him how much attention he gives you and how he makes you feel? You need him to learn good behaviour, and of course you want to build up a bond with him (though both these can take time and effort!), but you can't control all his likes and dislikes, and he might not always be all that you want him to be, but as his owner you've got to love him and care for him regardless.
 
#9 ·
He is ignoring you because you are using negative methods to deal with him. When a dog ignores you, its his way of saying "chill out man!... you are kinda scary!"

Learn to clicker train the puppy and he will follow you everywhere and gaze at you with love.

Here is where to start.

 
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#10 ·
Never reprimand a dog for having a toileting accident, it only makes matters worse.
Now what I am about to say is my unqualified opinion only
I am not totally against reprimanding an adult dog who knows better for certain behaviours with a stern no but I never ever reprimand a pup. With pups they are only learning, they do not know it's wrong it is up to you to show them another way. It is best to praise them when they do get it right & to give them every opportunity to get it right & when they do mess up you just move right along.
If the only training he is getting is negative based he may well want to avoid you as he just doe not want to get in trouble & is not sure how to avoid that without avoiding you.
Puppies need love, guidance & praise more than anything else, routine is important to as is consistency.
So read up on some positive training methods & look into the advice already given & sit down with your brother & make a daily plan for the pup & talk about how certain situations & behaviours are to be dealt with & you find your relationship will improve hugely.
 
#13 ·
I think probably "fault" was the wrong word for me to use - it's not the puppy's fault, but it's not necessarily the owner's fault either. Puppies can pee outside and then come inside and pee again ten minutes later, which the owner can't really do much about.

And just to add to my other post: OmarElbasha, have you thought about other reasons why your dog pays more attention to your brother? I know it might seem really obvious, but, for example, has your brother carried treats for the puppy in his pockets, so that the puppy's learned to associate him with food even when there's not any food visible? Does your brother go to places where he'd come back smelling of food, or smelling of another dog? Fear may be behind it, especially with a puppy so young, but there are other possibilities.

But ultimately I think you need to accept that you might never know the reason. Just like you might like a particular person (or dog) more than another; you can probably list traits that appeal to you in one person you like, but another could have the same traits and yet you don't like them so much.

Try not to think of it in terms of your puppy favouring your brother. Work on bonding with your dog independently of how much he likes your brother.
 
#14 ·
May i mention my favorite method for house training?

I put newspaper all over the floor.

When the dog pees on the paper (not that it has a choice), I praise it.

Over a time (depends on the dog of course), I use less and less paper until there is just an area one sheet big, at the door.

When the dog walks to the door I open it and let it out.

Hey presto, trained - no tears




.
 
#15 ·
I feel the effectiveness of this technique lies in stimulus/response conditioning.

The puppy associates the feel of the paper under its paws with the pleasant feeling of relieving tension. Add to this positive reinforcement from the owner and it isn't long before you notice your puppy 'lookin' for the paper.
 
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#16 ·
May i mention my favorite method for house training?

I put newspaper all over the floor.

When the dog pees on the paper (not that it has a choice), I praise it.

Over a time (depends on the dog of course), I use less and less paper until there is just an area one sheet big, at the door.

When the dog walks to the door I open it and let it out.

Hey presto, trained - no tears




.
why is this any less work than normal, proven effective, positive reinforcement potty training? If anything the puppy will have more problems transitioning from paper to grass/dirt.


If your stimulus/response theory is true the puppy wouldn't want to go outside. He/she would look for anything that resembles paper. Seems like a bit of a pain to lay paper outside so that the pup goes where they are suppose to go.
 
#17 ·
My mother always used the 'newspaper trick', I thought that was how everyone did it. I didn't use it with Jessy. She just seemed to get the hang of it. A friend grabbed her one day and run her outside for piddling on the kitchen floor. Jessy never peed inside a house again.
 
#19 ·
When it comes to listening without seeing a treat or toy, I would start using two hands when training. If he doesn't sit, for example, without seeing a treat, show him a treat from one hand, but give him a treat from the opposite hand that is behind your back. If you give your pup a "hidden treat," he will expect something good even when he can't see it. In the beginning stages of training, high rates of reinforcement is ideal for pups.

It also helps to use hand signals along with your verbal cues. If you taught your pup a verbal "sit" simply say "sit" and follow it immediately with the hand signal. Soon, your pup will learn the hand signal and you might find that he responds better to the hand signal. Dogs communicate visually more than verbally and I find that many dogs respond better to visual signals.

I wouldn't see it as a big deal that your pup needs to see the toy in order to perform a desired behavior. Just treat your pup using "hidden treats" and, when in play, ask for those behaviors so he can play! This will make it a habit for your pup to do these things for you in order to earn play time, which will make it more pleasant when he is older.

The rots that I have worked with have all been such fabulous students! I'd take him to puppy socialization classes and puppy socialization events to ensure that he is comfortable with strangers as an adult. I adopted a dobie at 1.5 years and he wasn't socialized as a pup so it took me a long time to get him comfortable with strangers in the house...rots are the same way so socialization is much more important than training until he is 12 weeks old. If you have to choose some days between training and socialization, pick the socialization and make it a training opportunity as well! Example: Asking a stranger to treat the pup for sitting, asking them to turn and walk away if pup jumps, and giving attention to the pup for good behavior. This helps show him that "oh boy a fun person that might give me a treat! I'd better not jump or else they won't give me attention!"
 
#20 ·
I do love the answers. Everyone seems to be an expert.

If the dog doesn't like you, it seems to see you as overbearing and always yelling at it. You should look to reward the good as well as offer negitive for bad. Try to proact with positive rather react with negitives.

Puppies want to please, but if they don't know how or don't know what you want they are confused and seek to avoid you to avoid another scolding for some problem they don't know or couldn't help.

That said, a puppy must be taught how to act in a house. Doing anything and everything they want is out of the question, even more so when it will be a big dog. You want a dog that will listen and not be a spoiled brat.

Treat a dog like a child is good advise. Redirect bad behaivor, try to limit negitive reenforcement to age appropriate.

For my dog, time out worked well when she plays to ruff, but my time out might not work for you. I have a Chi-pin. I hold her like a baby to put her in time out, paws up, until she stops squirming and accepts the position. I talk to her calmly while doing it. It would be much like the mother dog knocking the baby down and holding it in place with her paw, as a time out.
 
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