[Harley Hound]

Ok got to admit i don't brush my dog teeth, got everything else coverd.

 

[bhaur]

I had the same issue with my aunt. She had two pugs and this little pomeranian/poodle thing. They were all in pretty poor shape-- one of the pugs had demodex, they all had HORRID teeth, they CONSTANTLY scrapped, she never groomed the poodle mix (it matted and stinky), they all had ear infections, they were all fed Purina puppy chow for the duration of their life and the pugs were allergic, none were completely house trained, weren't EVER walked outside..... it was never ending.
Then they thought they had to move! Soooo they re-homed one of their pugs to a relative- an excellent home. The one pug they kept and the last I decided to take and re-home because my uncle would actually physically abuse it (kick it across the floor, scream at it etc). Keeping in mind that this dog weighed 4-5 pounds.
I took her and taught her to go outside, groomed/bathed her, scaled her teeth (were perfectly white when I was done with her), switched her over to high quality food, trimmed her nails and after a few months started searching for the perfect home. I found an amazing lady and she even signed a contract stating that she would return her to me if she couldn't keep her at some point in her life.
She now lives an AMAZING life (with no other dogs) with her elderly owner very close to me.
I just couldn't handle seeing it anymore. I HAD to do something.
Regrettably they still have the one pug but my uncle favoured that dog so at least it isn't being abused...
Good luck... sounds like you need it.

 

[harleyboysmom]

You are banging your head against the wall with this one, and getting yourself upset to boot.
I'd tell her, if she brings it up, that you don't want to talk about it. If asks why, give her all the reasons, tell her she never listens and just gives you lip service.
I feel for the poor little Chi, but you can't help those that don't want help.
Again, best not to talk to her about her Chi.

 

[Nylanat]

Yea you guys are right. Rotten, I just want to point out I'm not the one that acctually brings this up. She has always been the one to complain or ask questions.

I'll take your advice though and leave it alone.
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[LynneMarie]

I love that saying...."Poop or get off the pot" okay so not the correct first word.
Do something or shut up about it...not you, what you can say to her. People piss me off. I finally get to a point where I tell someone I do not want to hear any more because they are doing nothing about it anyway.

On a positive note..At least they do not eat there dogs..I lived next to a family from another country who would get a new puppy every new year. They were always chow mixes. I never saw them eat them but they did have a pit in their back yard. One year I volunteered to vaccinate the puppy in hopes they would think I contaminated it. Not sure what happened..they moved.

 

[Nylanat]

LynneMarie; now that's crazy! Geez! LoL
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[Mjjean]

LynneMarie; now that's crazy! Geez! LoL
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Eh, other cultures and all. I mean, we get upset about people eating dogs because they are smart and affectionate and lovable, right? So are pigs. Actually, pigs may be smarter than dogs. And they are cute, lovable and affectionate. But they are also tasty and most of us eat pigs. So, I say live and let live.

As far as the co-worker, you mention her and the kids but I don't remember seeing anything about a husband. If she has a husband/SO or whatever that lives in is there any chance you can educate him and get him to make changes for the good of the dog?

 

[Nylanat]

No way. They aren't in a good spot in their marriage and he is completly detached from the dog or any situations for that matter. So he's not an option.
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[idealistinfire]

Given that I don't actually know what's going on and only have one side of the story, but honestly, if I knew nothing about dogs and received a puppy - I would be overwhelmed. All that advice, all the information out there - it can be intimidating, especially for those of us who can be perfectionist or have high expectations of ourselves. And if you have anything else going on in your life (i.e., bad marriage, being depressed, hyper children, etc...), trying to tackle a new project is exhausting and most of us respond by ignoring it. And puppies are nothing if not a project and half.

Now, given that, I think you're right and she shouldn't have gotten a dog and needs some tough love. And in no way should you feel responsible if something happens to the puppy, nor do you have to feel like giving out advice when so much of it is ignored. You have obviously done everything you could for her and tried to help her out in the best way possible.

The only thing I would tell her at this point is she needs to pick 1 issue with the puppy (i.e., potty training or being calm in the house or walking him on a regular basis or teaching her son how to train the dog to heel and walking him indoors) and focus on that for a month or more. That way, if she is feeling overwhelmed, that narrows down the list of things to work on into a manageable piece.

But it is people like her that make me shy away from being a dog trainer - I love training them and don't want people to ruin the experience!

 

[Nylanat]

Thanks idealistfire. The thing is noane said hey take this puppy. She practically begged for it. She's not overwhelmed with information because she's choosing not to look for any. One of her kids wrote me a note (we write notes to eachother and their mom gives them to me) and the note said;" Mom was really mad at Alpha and screamed because he pees on the floor. She put him in the cage and we didn't play. "

This was today.

My thing is, you've been handfed advice, given sources, everything possible short of paying and caring for the dog myself. It's out of my hands now. Continue to have a rowdy loud dog who pees and poos everywhere. Enjoy. That's just where I'm at right now.
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[marbear]

I think the best advice is a few posts up...when she brings it up again tell her that this is now closed for discussion...tell her you've told her what to do and she never does any of it so for the sake of your mental health and your working relationship you don't want to hear about the dog until/unless she gets him to the vet (minimum) and hopefully a training class.

 

[furbabymum]

Can't control other people. You can try to give her guidance when she asks for it but you can't make her take it. I feel for everyone involved but you're too into it. You have to disconnect. It's not your problem. I hate how my in-laws are raising their dogs but I completely uninvolved (save once when their female great dane was so malnourished I removed her from the home. Successfully guilted them into getting her fixed and taking better care of her.)

 

[harleyboysmom]

thanks idealistfire. The thing is noane said hey take this puppy. She practically begged for it. She's not overwhelmed with information because she's choosing not to look for any. One of her kids wrote me a note (we write notes to eachother and their mom gives them to me) and the note said;" mom was really mad at alpha and screamed because he pees on the floor. She put him in the cage and we didn't play. "

this was today.

My thing is, you've been handfed advice, given sources, everything possible short of paying and caring for the dog myself. It's out of my hands now. Continue to have a rowdy loud dog who pees and poos everywhere. Enjoy. That's just where i'm at right now.
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good for you!

 

[idealistinfire]

My thing is, you've been handfed advice, given sources, everything possible short of paying and caring for the dog myself. It's out of my hands now. Continue to have a rowdy loud dog who pees and poos everywhere. Enjoy. That's just where I'm at right now.
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Fair point and totally understandable.

 

[annadee]

Whenever this sort of thing happens, I just ignore it. I find there are very few people that actually take advice given... "ya, I know" but then they don't do anything.

 

[AmandaNola]

There are some things you just can't fix. Stupidity, stubbornness and deaf ears are a few of them.

 

[marbear]

annadee reminded me of a saying about advice: a fool won't take it and a wise man doesn't need it.

 

[Nylanat]

Thanks everyone. She brought up the dog again today and I just stopped her cold by making a joke out of it.. I just said " Nope nope..I don't wana hear it. I told you how to fix it already." She laughed and started talking about something else. In my head I was thinking how NOT funny this is but whatever. I guess all I can do is make sure MY dog is taken care of. SMH
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[LynneMarie]

High five...good for you.

 

[pumpernickel]

I have friends who rescued a Husky-X (at least that's what they called him at the Humane Society) 6 months ago. This dog was thought to be 11 months old at the time, and was roughly 25" at the shoulder and maybe 65lbs. Fast forward half a year and he's grown so incredibly much and is just starting to fill out. He's an enormous dog, having grown I don't know how many inches and gaining probably a million pounds of muscle.

They got him for his looks instead of his temperament, energy level, etc, etc. I was with them when they got him. I told them they should maybe look at another dog as this one seemed very high energy and willful, and they hadn't owned a dog before. They didn't listen.

Their dog has had potty training issues from the beginning, jumps on everyone, constantly bites and mouths (his mouth is HUGE), scratches and is generally just very badly behaved.

I've suggested that they take him to classes or at the very least do some research on working on his issues by themselves. Nope. I pointed out that he's a very large, very energetic dog and needs a LOT of exercise. They don't even walk him to my knowledge. When he's bad they start rough housing with him and encourage his bad behavior (unknowingly) in a tone that even puts me on edge.

We can no longer take our dog to their house because Keno will come out with bloody nips and just isn't into playing rough with this oversized "puppy". This has honestly had a negative effect on their relationship with friends.

Tonight they told me that the dog will now be going up north to live with one of their parents because 'Everyone hates him. He annoys everyone'. I know for a fact that this dog will either be confined to a small 'run' for the rest of his life, or even taken out back and shot, which isn't too rare an occurrence where he's headed.

It's so sad and frustrating! He could be a great dog if someone were willing to put in the work to help him BECOME a great dog. It's just laziness and ignorance. I'm by no means a dog expert, but I am so pissed off right now.

I guess this rant was just a way of saying I know what you mean! Grrrrr.