I would suggest getting a book called Mine! by Jean Donaldson.

I'm also curious to know how your past trainers approached the problem, especially why they were unable to help you set up a desensitization program. Dog training shows on TV have set a very bad expectation, with each episode starting with a dog engaging in totally unacceptable behavior. Good trainers don't necessarily want to see the problematic behavior, because they don't want the dog rehearsing it. A good trainer or behaviorist should have been able to interview you about the behavior you had seen and help you to follow a program similar to what Donaldson describes in her book.

Realistically, you will need to approach this as a management problem for a while. If your wife isn't on board, that will make the whole thing a lot more difficult. And, honestly, ANY household with a toddler and a dog should be approaching it as a managment problem; parents can be astonishingly naive about how their dogs feel about kids. You just have fewer illusions about your dog's capacity to interact appropriately with a small child.

 

Thank you so much for this! I will certainly check that book out, but yes I agree, it's an uphill battle with my wife since she's been wanting to re-home her ever since we've had a child. I'm exploring every option unfortunately. Very much appreciate it!

 

Even a dog without your dog's problems should not be left alone with a young child. A toddler can do many things that bother the dog without being intentionally mean, or a dog can do something that confuses or startles the child.

Unfortunately I don't have anything to help with your problem. I've heard resource guarding at this scale is very hard if not impossible to remove. It is probably genetic.

Do you know what kind of training she received? Was she boarded, trained with you at a trainer's facility, or in your home? What did the behaviorist say because I doubt one meeting is enough for this dog? To even try to cure this you have to be prepared to work on it for weeks/months under the supervision of a behaviorist in your home. It won't be basic obedience training, it is about going through the dog's daily routines and habits along with conditioning new things because to me it sounds like this is a quite nervous dog (has had SA).

(And if the videos were dog training shows from TV (because there is also more accurate stuff made by behaviorists and dog trainers on platforms like Youtube and you might have meant those), be wary indeed because shows are made for entertainment and they put drama and action before the dog and their method has to seem to work because who wants to watch a program that fails. Also, the process is compressed into half an hour in the editing room at the studio. Most of the shows also portray outdated and ignorant methods that can lead you or someone else your dog interacts with to be bitten if tried at home. Victoria Stillwell (her methods grew when seasons aired and are now modern, well, she was not bad to begin with compared to many others) once adviced a family to PTS their spaniel on the show which gave her adversaries some ammo to smear her and her methods.)