Looking for training , disabled daughter and me, retired nurse

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life, even without frisky puppy antics. I don't know what kinds of resources are available in your area. It might be worth checking with the local shelter network to see if they have any training resources available. Shelters would much rather see dogs stay in their own homes. Of course, times are tight for everyone, and their resources may be as thinly stretched as anyone else's.

It sounds to me like your pup needs more outlets to burn off physical and mental energy. Of course, as a former trainer, you know that. You just aren't able to give him the outlets you would like, due to your own physical limitations. I would, therefore, focus on giving him mental stimulation via behavioral and trick training indoors. There's no such thing as an instant cure for the unruly pup, but you can start laying a foundation for better obedience and behavior going forward.

It also sounds like he might be a bit anxious, and he responds to confinement by getting destructive. I'd be curious to know more about how these destructive episodes start: why he's in the crate to begin with, how long he was there, if he had something to keep him occupied, if he was aware of noisy and stimulating activities happening outside the crate, etc.

Something to remember is that dogs don't respond well to "don't do that." They are doing whatever they are doing because it meets their needs at the moment. So, if you don't want your pup doing something naughty, you need to teach your pup to do something else that is equally satisfying. I think of it as matching the energy of the good and the naughty activities. For example, my boys are prone to excited exuberant greetings. Left to their own choices, they would jump up and possibly knock people over. I could tell them to go to their bed and lie down, but I know they wouldn't stay there. They are too excited, and lying still is very hard for them when they are feeling wiggly. Even sitting down is a big ask. Instead I have taught them to do things that let them be energetic without knocking people over. Both of them know how to spin clockwise and counterclockwise. They also know how to jump straight up without putting feet on anyone. Asking for these tricks lets them work out the wiggles and feel like they are part of the party without flattening the house guests.

For training resources, I'd take a look at the Kikopup channel on YouTube. Kikopup's exercises for the calm settle in particular are very good for anyone with a hyper dog. A lot of people also recommend Karen Pryor's 101 things to do with a box exercises as well. I know my boys love hunting treats in a box full of cardboard. When they were younger it gave them an outlet for destructive chewing.

I have used a variation of Kikopup's calm settle to help my dog reactive younger dog learn to control his outbursts in public. I started at his group training class and continued at the vet's office, but I don't see why you couldn't do it anywhere. He already knew the commands Sit, Down, Head Down (which means to put his chin on the floor) and Look at Me. When we were waiting our turn in class and at the vet, I asked him for these four commands. I rewarded him especially heavily for Head Down and Look at Me. Next, I started reinforcing him for voluntarily offering any of these behaviors. When he was especially stressed these reinforcements came every three to five seconds. For example, he always stood up as a prelude to barking and then lunging at other dogs or even some people. I therefore paid special attention to when these exercises seemed like he was about to start a ruckus.

As soon as his head went up I asked him to sit down. Reward. Then I asked him to lie down. Reward. Then I asked him to Look at Me. Reward. Then I requested Head Down. Reward. Then I let him continue lying there. He lifted his head to look at me. Reward. He looked at another dog in class. No reward. He looked back at me. He got two treats. He put his head down. He got three treats. He lifted his head and looked at another dog. No reward. He looked at me. Reward. He dropped his head on the floor. Two treats. In this manner, over several months, I was able to build him into the habit of lying down next to me when he was feeling stressed and uncertain. Lying down next to me makes treats fall out of the sky. As he got better at this, I started encouraging him to touch his nose to my shoe. He can't stare at his surroundings in search of trouble when he is looking at my shoe. It also gives me an alert that he's feeling stressed when he suddenly starts poking my shoes with his nose. And, honestly, I think he's a bit relieved that he doesn't have to be the one on watch duty now. Last night, while I was sitting cross legged on the floor, he burrowed his head under my knee and poked the sole of my shoe. He could have reached my shoe without hiding his whole head, but I think he just felt happier being able to shut out the whole world for a minute or two.