I apologize for the lengthy post but I really need some advice.
We got our dog (a Bernese Mountain Dog/Poodle mix) as a puppy and we've had him for about a year and a half. About a week and a half ago we were at my uncle and aunt's cabin and he bit their little girl (about 5 years old). He's never been aggressive before and has always been great around our kids (3 and 6 years old). There were several other dogs there and they had all been running around and playing well together. We decided to put our dog on a leash for a little while so we wouldn't have to worry about him (I realize now this was a mistake). All of a sudden all of the other dogs started barking. I'm not sure what triggered it, but I think at least a couple of them were barking at our son. At the same moment my cousin (the five year old) ran up to our dog, who was still on the leash and he barked, and bit her on the arm. It broke the skin and left a clear bite mark, but she didn't need stitches. There was some blood, but it didn't bleed profusely. I've spoken with her parents more recently and they say it's healing fine.
I think the aggression may have been triggered because he saw the other dogs barking at our son and felt the need to defend him, but I can't be sure. I think the fact that he was leashed while the other dogs were free was probably making him feel more anxious as well.
My aunt and uncle (the victim's parents) have been extremely sympathetic and have made it clear they have no hard feelings towards us or the dog and that they would feel horrible if we put him down.
If that was the whole story we would just quarantine him and watch him closely for a few weeks (we're doing that anyway) and look at getting him trained better.
But the other issue is my wife's mental health. She has severe depression and anxiety and has been suicidal in the past. Luckily, she opened up to me about it and we've been getting help ever since. Things have improved somewhat, but it's still a struggle. Part of the reason we got the dog was that we hoped he could help with her anxiety. Unfortunately the opposite has been true. He's never been a bad dog or anything (at least not before this incident), but she just stresses so much about him, and she thinks she's a terrible dog owner (I think she's being way too hard on herself). She admits that her expectations for herself and for the dog's behavior were somewhat unrealistic, but her anxiety still spikes whenever he barks or anything (which he does less than a lot of dogs in our neighborhood). Obviously this incident has only made things worse, and at this point she feels that it's not worth it to keep him. I'm trying to be understanding and be sympathetic, but the thought of getting rid of him makes me sick. I've grown to love him, and the kids really do to. I think my wife felt some affection for him initially but I don't think there's much there anymore.
I want to make one thing clear. I'm not blaming my wife for any of this. If you're coming on here to criticize her then don't bother because I won't read it. She's been through hell and she's working incredibly hard on herself. I love the dog, but my wife is my whole world.
All that being said, I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if would be possible to re-home him now. I'm guessing a shelter would euthanize him now that he's bitten someone. And I don't imagine it would be easy to find someone who would be willing to adopt him with that history. Any advice would be appreciated.
We got our dog (a Bernese Mountain Dog/Poodle mix) as a puppy and we've had him for about a year and a half. About a week and a half ago we were at my uncle and aunt's cabin and he bit their little girl (about 5 years old). He's never been aggressive before and has always been great around our kids (3 and 6 years old). There were several other dogs there and they had all been running around and playing well together. We decided to put our dog on a leash for a little while so we wouldn't have to worry about him (I realize now this was a mistake). All of a sudden all of the other dogs started barking. I'm not sure what triggered it, but I think at least a couple of them were barking at our son. At the same moment my cousin (the five year old) ran up to our dog, who was still on the leash and he barked, and bit her on the arm. It broke the skin and left a clear bite mark, but she didn't need stitches. There was some blood, but it didn't bleed profusely. I've spoken with her parents more recently and they say it's healing fine.
I think the aggression may have been triggered because he saw the other dogs barking at our son and felt the need to defend him, but I can't be sure. I think the fact that he was leashed while the other dogs were free was probably making him feel more anxious as well.
My aunt and uncle (the victim's parents) have been extremely sympathetic and have made it clear they have no hard feelings towards us or the dog and that they would feel horrible if we put him down.
If that was the whole story we would just quarantine him and watch him closely for a few weeks (we're doing that anyway) and look at getting him trained better.
But the other issue is my wife's mental health. She has severe depression and anxiety and has been suicidal in the past. Luckily, she opened up to me about it and we've been getting help ever since. Things have improved somewhat, but it's still a struggle. Part of the reason we got the dog was that we hoped he could help with her anxiety. Unfortunately the opposite has been true. He's never been a bad dog or anything (at least not before this incident), but she just stresses so much about him, and she thinks she's a terrible dog owner (I think she's being way too hard on herself). She admits that her expectations for herself and for the dog's behavior were somewhat unrealistic, but her anxiety still spikes whenever he barks or anything (which he does less than a lot of dogs in our neighborhood). Obviously this incident has only made things worse, and at this point she feels that it's not worth it to keep him. I'm trying to be understanding and be sympathetic, but the thought of getting rid of him makes me sick. I've grown to love him, and the kids really do to. I think my wife felt some affection for him initially but I don't think there's much there anymore.
I want to make one thing clear. I'm not blaming my wife for any of this. If you're coming on here to criticize her then don't bother because I won't read it. She's been through hell and she's working incredibly hard on herself. I love the dog, but my wife is my whole world.
All that being said, I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if would be possible to re-home him now. I'm guessing a shelter would euthanize him now that he's bitten someone. And I don't imagine it would be easy to find someone who would be willing to adopt him with that history. Any advice would be appreciated.
Sorry it's under the circumstances. 
