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Discussion Starter #1
This is truly a difficult decision but I feel backed into a corner and I am not sure what to do...

My mother died one year ago. Before she died, I took her dog as she was being left home alone for 1-2 weeks a month while she was in the hospital. Her caregiver would come in and feed her 1-2 times a day and that is it. My mom lived in another state so I just took her and brought her to my house. I was not planning on getting a dog but this sweet dog was neglected.

I travel for work. I am gone 3 1/2 days a week, every week. I recently found out my husband cheats with prostitutes and has been lying to me. He is passive aggressive and does things like wake me up early by putting TV on loud at 3:30 am - stuff like that - and I just cannot take it.

Meanwhile, my mother's dog, Sophie, who became my dog, has become part of the home and has grown used to and most likely attached to his two dogs.

I left my husband for a few months and tried using dog sitters. Sophie seemed really unhappy. She tried running away several times and I worried about the other dogs the sitters kept. It was a difficult situation - seems so unstable for her to stay at various homes. I couldn't find a sitter that was available consistently.

My husband was upset I left, promised to go to therapy, was super nice - and I guess I am stupid because I bought it. I think too, having to deal with the loss of my mother and loss of a relationship, even though it was bad, made me vulnerable to believing his lies. Anyways, I moved back.
As you might predict, he is back to his old tricks. I just cant take his behavior anymore. I had even thought of staying just for Sophie so that she could be with the other dogs and him when I am away at work but it is soooo much to put up with.
I don't think I should have him keep Sophie as he is passive aggressive and I am afraid he will not be nice to her. I don't think he will abuse her, but she wont get the love she deserves.

This dog is an awesome dog. She is a senior dog - about 9 years old.

I wonder if what would be best is a home with a loving person/family who can be there for her everyday and enjoy all the love she gives.

I would appreciate any feedback. I feel heartbroken over this. I am not thinking clearly and maybe unbiased objective opinions could help
 

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I'm sorry that you are in such a tough situation. I think rehoming is best.

Please try to find a local rescue where you can surrender her. More terrible homes than good ones are found on Craigslist.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I just hate this situation. I certainly will take your advice and stay away from Craigslist.

I wonder if I could try to search for a good home for her. Maybe interview people. I had wished I could find someone who would "share custody" and I would pay them $150 a week" but I read that me coming in and out of her life (being gone 4/7 days a week) is worse for her and as I said, I cant find a dog sitter that is willing to watch her that many days a week, every week.

I just want her to be happy. She is super sweet and she has been through enough with my mom being in the hospital so much and being left alone too much. She is very loving and loves constant human contact. She is a lap dog for sure. I wish there was some older man or lady who stayed home and just wanted to spoil her. She deserves spoiling.
 

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From the sound of it it may be best to rehome her. Senior dogs do best with stability in their life and it sounds like your schedule may be a bit hard on her.

Rehoming her yourself is a perfectly doable option, you'll have some say to who she goes to and you can let them know that if it works out she comes back to you. You can also request that, if they do not mind, they periodically, a few times a year, text or email you pictures so that you can see how she's doing.
 
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Discussion Starter #5
Is it hard on a senior dog to be at a pet sitter 2 1/2 days a week?

So after thinking about this for the last few days, I just can't seem to stand the thought of re-homing my dog. I hope this doesn't mean I am a selfish jerk and not putting her needs ahead of mine...

I just don't have faith that I will be able to find her the home she deserves. I feel like a jerk making her have to have another loss.

So I either stay here (that is a tough one, not sure I can), or, I can ask my employer to reduce my out of town travel to 2 days instead of 3. that means I am going 2 1/2 days a week. Probably the best I can do as far as work is concerned.

So maybe I should change the question - being that she is a senior dog, is it hard on her to go to a pet sitter 2 1/2 days a week? Is it hard on her that I am gone that much?

I just wonder if I am being selfish and not considering what is best for her. It brings me to tears each time I think of letting someone else take her
 

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Just to float this out there, is it not possible to take her with you when you travel? I'm sure if you could you would at this point, but I figured I'd state the obvious.

How about finding a walker that comes to your house a few times a day instead of a sitter for her to stay with? That might be easier for her to adjust to and that way she gets to stay inside your home.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I appreciate any ideas you have! I did think of taking her but thought it might be more stress on her to take her with me since the car rides could be 3 1/2 hours and the areas I travel - during certain times of the year, there are thunderstorms and she is afraid of the noise. She would have to stay in a crate while I am at work in the office and she is 9, going on 10, not crate trained, and I have a mental block preventing me from accepting that she is okay/happy in a crate.
I actually just went to Pet Sitters International and found links to pet sitters that offer overnight visits. I am willing to pay 75-85 dollars for someone to stay in my home overnight, and maybe throw in an added day visit on one of those days if I am gone two days, and 2 of those days if I have to work three days, which is an extra 20-30 dollars.
So, she would get to stay in our home. We would have someone new in the home and I wont be there 2 nights, and sometimes 3, which is a con for her, I think, but she will have someone there and she is a really loving dog. She loves EVERYONE except for small children who get in her face or pull tails (that never happens but when she was my mother's dog, my nephew once got in her face and she growled.) She loves kids who just pet her and know how to treat dogs nice.

So if I hired an in home sitter, would she be okay or is this still me being selfish? In other words, is it okay to keep her or is it in her best interest to try to rehome her?

I really appreciate your feedback.
 

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So if I hired an in home sitter, would she be okay or is this still me being selfish? In other words, is it okay to keep her or is it in her best interest to try to rehome her?

I really appreciate your feedback.
If that is affordable long term for you, then go for it! I see it the same way as it was for my dog when I first got him, some nights I spent over with my boyfriend and he'd stay with my parents and he was fine! As long as she is a people lover I see no problem with this personally; (and its certainly not selfish when you're spending this much money on her to keep her in your loving home!) Hopefully best case is it tends to be the same pet sitter every time but even if its a different person every week I think she'll do great. :thumbsup:
 

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With that setup, I think she'll be just fine.

Consider, she gets to stay in a stable home where she is loved and cared for. Many, many dogs don't get to boast that.

It will be far easier on her to do this than to adjust to a different home, I think.
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
I appreciate everyone's responses! So kind and helpful! I feel so much better. All of the other things going on that has placed me in this situation is stressful enough.

She does have a great personality and likes pretty much everyone.

I was just worried that the pet sitter situation still wasn't providing stability/consistency/ she needs and me coming and going stresses her out but if she is going to be fine with a sitter situation in our home, that is what I will do.

PoppyKenna, your suggestion of a dog walker gave me the idea of the overnight sitter in my home. Thanks for that! And Doppelanger, you having this experience and giving me feedback also helped!

It's so nice to get input from dog lovers on this. I want to do what is right for her but on the other hand, I don't want to lose her. If it were best for her to be with someone that is home everyday, I would do it but I would want someone who would get her the same quality dog food (I used Dog Food Adviser to find high quality dog food and avoid the cheap ones that have crazy recalls), give her tons of love, and appreciate her sweet but silly personality (she is playfully burrowing under my comforter right now.) I don't know if I can find that and I just don't want to lose her.
 

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If you can get a sitter, especially 1 or 2 regular sitters, I think she'll be fine staying at home while you travel.

I sit with my friend's dog when she has to go out of town. Delilah, the dog, is 9 years old and while she's still plenty playful she does sleep a lot of the time. When I watch her our schedule is like this,

Go over around 9 AM and sit with her 1 or 2 hours, feed her breakfast, take her out for a potty break. Go home and take care of my own dog.

11 AM, take my dog, Zody, go and get Delilah and take both dogs for a walk. Go back to Delilah's and have lunch (I take it with me when I go over there) and spend an hour or so playing with both dogs. Go back home.

5pm, Take both dogs for another walk. Drop Zody off at home, go back to Delilah's with her and feed her, then go home and eat dinner.

7pm, Go back to Delilah's, taking Zody with me, and hang out till around 11 pm, take both dogs for late night walk / potty break, bring Delilah back to her house and then head home for bed.

I know it's a bit of overkill, but Delilah is a people dog, she loves to be held an cuddled and that schedule gives her lots of time to be pampered. The longest stretch that she's alone is at night when hopefully she's sleeping.
 
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