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Rehoming guilt

1609 Views 9 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  JoanneF, 
M
Hi everyone, my name is Margaret and my wife Sydnie and I recently had to rehome our dog due to health issues I was made aware of. I tried every avenue to try and keep her but it just wasn't in our favor, we are going to have to travel quite often for treatment for me and we felt it was not fair for her to have to be boarded or with our different family members so often. We both love her more than anything but we just want what's best for her. I am so heartbroken and am dealing with copious amounts of guilt and stress surrounding the situation. I am wondering if anyone knows what we are going through and has any ideas on how to cope and forgive ourselves. This was one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make and I can't help but think it wasn't the right one.
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M
I am so sorry you have had to do this and are feeling so bad about it. I have not had to do this but I know that, even if like you I knew it was the best thing, I would feel as bad about it as you describe.

Is there any chance you can be in contact with her new owners, so you will know how she is doing? that might help.
I am sure you found her a carefully chosen and good home.

I want to say that you did, in my opinion, the most generous and loving thing you could do, and you put her needs ahead of your own. this is how dog owners should be, and she was very lucky to have had you for her owner. You did the right thing for the dog, and not just what you wanted. I admire you for that, and I know I would do the same thing.

But be assured that you did do the right thing and that she is well cared for where she is. I am sorry you had to do this, and on top of having a serious health issue as well. My heart goes out to you.
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Madra Anamchara said:
I am so sorry you have had to do this and are feeling so bad about it. I have not had to do this but I know that, even if like you I knew it was the best thing, I would feel as bad about it as you describe.

Is there any chance you can be in contact with her new owners, so you will know how she is doing? that might help.
I am sure you found her a carefully chosen and good home.

I want to say that you did, in my opinion, the most generous and loving thing you could do, and you put her needs ahead of your own. this is how dog owners should be, and she was very lucky to have had you for her owner. You did the right thing for the dog, and not just what you wanted. I admire you for that, and I know I would do the same thing.

But be assured that you did do the right thing and that she is well cared for where she is. I am sorry you had to do this, and on top of having a serious health issue as well. My heart goes out to you.
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Thank you very much, and yes we get regular updates about her but each time we do it breaks me down more because I miss her so much. I know she is happy and well taken care of at her new home but the guilt of not being able to continue giving her the best life at home with us is too much.
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M
It's such a hard decision to make but you've done this with love.
You put her needs before what you want and you've decided to give her the best life she could have.
It's nice to get updates but sometimes you need to step back a little maybe let the updates be just now and then or special occasions my Christmas and birthdays so that it doesn't keep reopening the wound.
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M
marsmith said:
Thank you very much, and yes we get regular updates about her but each time we do it breaks me down more because I miss her so much. I know she is happy and well taken care of at her new home but the guilt of not being able to continue giving her the best life at home with us is too much.
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I understand.

Just another work, and I hope it helps.
If you are feeling guilty about not being able to continue to give her the home she deserves, you are feeling guilty about something that is not your fault, nor is it even your doing at all. this is something that happened to you and to your family that is beyond your control. You would change it in a heartbeat if you could, but you cannot. Think about someone feeling guilty because someone they love got hurt in a hurricane or something. You didn't do this to her or to yourself, so you are not guilty. Of course, feelings are feelings, and don't bow to logic, so this may not help.

I know you will still feel bad, but every time you feel guilty try to remind yourself that there's no way this is your fault. Things happen, and we just have to do our best with what happens. You have done the very best you could, and no one can do more than their best.
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BigBlackDog
It's done, let it go!
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JoanneF
Aw, that's a bit harsh @BigBlackDog.

The OP hasn't just had to let her dog go, she has also got to face medical treatment that must be for something serious enough to have had to make this decision. Let's show some sympathy?
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BigBlackDog
JoanneF said:
Aw, that's a bit harsh @BigBlackDog.

The OP hasn't just had to let her dog go, she has also got to face medical treatment that must be for something serious enough to have had to make this decision. Let's show some sympathy?
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Sorry, I'm not one to cry over spilt milk. It is done, I empathize that it was a hard decision, but now the "guilt" is just self harming. Let it go!
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BigBlackDog said:
Sorry, I'm not one to cry over spilt milk. It is done, I empathize that it was a hard decision, but now the "guilt" is just self harming. Let it go!
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Listen, she just got rehomed a few days ago and it is very fresh, I understand it has happened and cannot be reversed, but I was just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. If you do not have anything polite or helpful to contribute, then please don't contribute at all :)
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JoanneF
@marsmith, please can I also wish you the best with your treatment, I hope it goes well.
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