Dog Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hey everyone! I'm new here so please don't kill me if this doesn't belong here :dog-shy:

First of all I want to say that I LOVE dogs. I grew up with cats, dogs and rodents. Now I have a Rottweiler/Staffie mix and a Chihuahua. I absolutely adore them and would do anything for them. I'm also in the process of becoming a certified dog trainer.

And yea, then there's my husband's dog. Here's the problem: It all started almost 2 years ago when my husband and I decided to get Tyson (the Rottie) a companion. We saw Blade's ad online and decided to have Tyson meet with him to see if they got along. Well, they did not. Not really. Tyson is a very confident and obedient dog and Blade is not. He is very insecure, yet a bully towards other dogs, misbehaved and poorly socialized. The second Blade's owners opened the door and brought him out he tried to jump onto Tyson's back. No sniffing, no greeting, nothing. Tyson didn't appreciate this kind of behavior so he showed his teeth and growled. Blade was going crazy, he was barking, growling and lunging and kept trying to jump on Tyson's back. Obviously I told my husband that they're not liking each other so it's not going to work out. Well, he insisted on doing a trial run - which I didn't think was a good idea, but he did it anyway - and so we took Tyson home and then my husband went to pick up Blade. Unsurprisingly Blade was still as rude as he was in the beginning and Tyson didn't like it so again we had to keep them separated in order to avoid a fight. Alright, well, let me get to the point. I said I didn't want to keep him because they're obviously not getting along but my husband kept him anyway and promised to get them used to each other. Since he just kept him even though I wasn't okay with it I told him that I'm not gonna be taking care of the dog and its issues and that he will walk, feed and ESPECIALLY train him. He agreed. So after a while they were actually fine around each other and just had a few disagreements every now and again. However, my husband didn't do anything other than pet the dog. He didn't walk him, didn't feed him and didn't train him. Of course, me feeling bad for the dog I took care of him and taught him basic commands. Well, I tried. For instance; Blade jumps so I tried teaching him not to jump. My husband came home from work, called Blade over and Blade jumps. If he didn't jump on its own my husband tapped his chest as if he invited him up and so that's what he did. I told him not to do this as Blade is never going to learn that jumping is inappropriate. My husband's answer was "well, he's my dog and I want him to jump on me". Well, I don't like it and other people don't like it either. Until this day Blade jumps because my husband always calls him up while I'm trying to teach him not to jump. The same goes for barking at strangers and other dogs, stealing Tyson's toys as he has his own, letting him in the yard without either a muzzle or a leash, chasing the Chihuahua around and so on. He lets him get away with literally everything while I'm trying my best to get him to stop those behaviors. Obviously we're not getting anywhere.

Here's another few examples. About a year ago we moved and Blade became aggressive towards Tyson. They would run around in the yard and if Tyson ran past Blade he would go straight after his neck. When Tyson had a toy Blade would try to take it out of his mouth and if he didn't give it up he'd bite until he gave it up. He's even shown aggression towards me when he didn't feel like waiting for me to hand him his food. If Tyson got patted Blade would attack Tyson because he wants all the attention for himself. Blade walks all over and sits on Tyson because he wants his spot. There were times where Blade attacked him while Tyson simply walked by without even looking at him. I have to say Tyson is very tolerant and takes a lot of s***. Whenever Blade is starting something he just looks at him like 'whatever' and walks off, unless Blade takes it too far. Once Tyson has had enough he's going to make his point which usually ends up with Blade running into a corner whimpering. Needless to say I have to keep Blade in his kennel whenever I'm unable to supervise, otherwise he'll go after Tyson again. It's pretty exhausting living like this because I always have to be prepared for the worst. I can't even go use the bathroom without making sure Blade is in his crate and/or all the doors are closed. While it's exhausting for me to live like this I feel like it's very unfair towards Tyson to have him live with a dog who wants to rip his head off all the time. He's so loving and good with other dogs so I don't think he should have to live with a dog who can't stand him. Am I wrong for this? I don't really know what to do. I just know that I'm not happy with the current situation and I'm sure Tyson isn't either. And even my family says Blade is an 'only dog' as he behaves terribly around every dog. Anyways, I told my husband that he needs to start taking care of his dog and train him, or even attend dog training classes with him because I don't have the strength to deal with the dog anymore, otherwise I'll have to find him a good fitting home. If I say that I'm getting yelled at and he's saying things like "he's my dog, you don't have the right to give him away, you're not gonna do that".

I'm not for rehoming animals at all, IMHO I believe once an animal comes into your life it should stay there forever but with this dog I'm at my wits ends. I didn't want him in the first place because he didn't get along with Tyson, but my husband got him anyway. Whatever training I'm doing, my husband does the opposite. The dog's behavior gets worse and worse and worse. I can't even pat him anymore. And I know it's not the dog's fault, but I am seriously at a point where I can say that I hate him. I absolutely despise the mutt. I've never felt like this towards a dog and I'm shocked that I'm even able to say things like that but with him I just can't help it. There are no enjoyable moments with him anymore. I don't even pat him anymore. I also have a mental health condition and ever since we moved and dog's behavior worsened a year ago my condition also worsened. I told my husband about it too but he thinks I'm overexaggerating and Blade is just acting this way because he's young. In his eyes he doesn't have any issues so it's not that bad. Help :(

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read my post. Now does anyone have any advice for me? I'm at a loss. Btw, I hope you guys can excuse the grammar.. English isn't my first language.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,177 Posts
Im sorry that it has gotten to this point. Honestly in my personal opinion it does sound like he may not be the right fit for your home. And that's ok, you tried hard to make it work, but not every home is right for every dog and not every dog is right for every home. Especially if its causing stress to you and your current dogs.
It might help to make a pro and con list of having Blade, look at the happiness and quality of life for both you, your dogs and blade, and sitting down and having a conversation with your husband.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,208 Posts
Why is it anytime anyone says "forgive me English isn't my first language" they have impeccable English skills? Don't worry about that! =P

Anyway, I have to say that I think this IS a situation, in which rehoming would be good for everyone. From what you've said, every member of your household is miserable. I agree when you bring a pet home it *should* be forever, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. I myself have had to return a dog we adopted because she didn't get along with our previous dog. It sounds like Blade has some severe behavior issues that you and your husband are unable to address together, and poor Tyson is suffering with this too. It's possible that this situation (with another dog) is making Blade worse. The fact that Tyson is so much larger also poses a potentially fatal threat to Blade if he understandably loses his temper and chomps him.

I think the biggest issue though, is finding someone who well...will take Blade. Most people don't want a dog with so many issues, and one that can't live with other dogs. But right now try to contact some rescue organizations near you, or perhaps Chihuahua ones to see if they can help. I really don't think everyone can go on living feeling like a prisoner in their own home.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
No no, Blade is not the Chihuahua. The Chihuahua is a female and her name is peanut. She's fine with every dog but is scared of Blade because he wants to chase her around and paw her to the ground. Blade is a Boxer/Pit mix. He is way smaller than Tyson, though. Tyson is 80 lbs and Blade is about 50 lbs. I was thinking that, too, that it's gonna be very hard to find someone who's willing to put in the work he requires and I'd also feel like I'll be advertising a 'bad dog' that nobody would want. I think it would be way easier to rehome a chihuahua with behavioral issues than a large breed dog.

I'll try talking to my husband again but he usually gets angry when I say anything about the dog. My whole family tells me he's not the right fit for us and I can see that as well. I already saw it when we first met him. Now everyone's unhappy but my husband. He doesn't see it and thinks everything is fine. He said if he ever goes somewhere else it will be his aunt's house because she wants another dog but she already has a small one and three cats. I don't think she has the right personality For him either. When I told him that this wouldn't be a good fit he got mad. It's like every time I disagree with him I'm in the wrong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,208 Posts
Oh, well you said you had two dogs and just mentioned two names so I assumed Blade was the Chihuahua. The fact Blade is a large dog is a much more serious issue. I thought it was serious when he was 6 lbs! Honestly, I think you need to tell your husband that he is choosing between you, Tyson, Peanut and Blade. I would be very worried for Peanut's safety as well. He is insane to think a dog like this could live with 3 cats and a small dog, especially if his aunt is an older woman and not capable of handling a dog like this. There *are* some people who would want him but...*sigh* a bully breed with severe aggression issues is a serious problem. I will say that with a dog like Blade, there IS a very good chance he would be put down. This is going to be something difficult for you and your husband, but the fact is that this is a large, powerful dog with severe behavior issues that you nor your husband can handle. And it would be better he be given up or rehomed now (regardless of his outcome) rather than when he hurts someone (human or canine) in your home.

First I think you should contact a dog trainer. Not so much to help you train Blade, but to evaluate him and give your husband an expert's advice. I'm quite certain any good trainer would tell you that Blade most definitely has serious problems, and that rehoming and/or behavior modification is absolutely necessary. Dogs don't just "grow out of" bad behaviors unless the owner does something about it. Since you said you want to be a dog trainer it would be good to make some connections too! And I will say that just because you want to be/will be a dog trainer doesn't mean you should keep a troubled dog! I have a dog training certification and I would NEVER want a dog like that in my own home. I want my home and pack to be as peaceful and stress free as possible. Also, I think you need to have a long talk with your husband. Since you mentioned you have mental health issues do you have a therapist? If possible discuss this with him/her, and maybe have your husband come in as well. But I think some professional, objective opinions on this issue are necessary.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TruckersMom

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,820 Posts
Best solution is to rehome him to a home where he's the ONLY dog. He'll be much happier, Tyson will be happier, you'll be happier, and I think your husband will eventually be happier. Once Blade is gone you can wait a bit then if your husband still wants a dog go search for one that's a good fit for your home. With rehoming though you really need to have him on your side or he's likely going to have a heck of a lot of resentment towards you and your remaining dogs.

Second best solution would be to call in a certified applied animal behaviorist, he or she may be able to open your husbands eyes to just how bad the situation is and that it must be gotten under control. If you go the behaviorist route make sure that the person is a positive reinforcement one since punishment based techniques are likely to make the situation escalate.

Please keep Blade completely away from your Chihuahua, it sounds like his behavior towards her is prey driven and it will only take 1 good bite to either seriously hurt her or kill her. You might also want to tell your husband that if Tyson and Blade ever get into a real fight the veterinarian bills are going to be very high and breaking it up may result in you or him getting bitten. Those last two things may be enough to have him consider rehoming Blade
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Yes that was my bad, I didn't clarify. It does seem like he's choosing Blade over everyone else's well being. And I don't see why. He doesn't do anything with the dog but pet him when he demands it. He doesn't even play with him or exercise him. That's on me. The reason he'd send him to live with his aunt is because he'd know where he's at and because she has a huge yard. Her yard isn't securely fenced in, though, so he would either be tied up or escape. I'm also worried about her pets. I've met them and they're wonderful! They're very friendly, outgoing and affectionate and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if he hurt or even killed them. I'm fairly certain his behavior is prey driven as he chases pretty much everything. We once took them to the lake and my husband let Blade off the leash, knowing that he doesn't listen. There were geese on the lake and before I got the chance to put the leash back on him he jumped in the water and tried to catch them. They were much faster than him but he continued to swim across the whole lake to chase them. I tried running to the other side, yelling and screaming his name, but I noticed quickly that the lake was way too big for me to be keeping up with them, so I ran to the car and drove to the other side. As I got there the geese have just turned around and Blade was still behind them. By the time I got back to the other side he was already out of the water chasing birds. I was done and told my husband to go catch him. At this point I didn't even care if he got lost. I ran through rose bushes and was all scratched up and I tripped over bumps in the ground so my foot was hurting. My husband just stood there and thought it was funny.

What you said about keeping a troubled dog is what worries me. Wouldn't it make me a bad dog trainer if I rehomed him and took the risk of him being possibly put down? That's what I'm thinking. And because he's a liability I'm wondering about this as well. I do have a therapist and I'm seeing her again next week. I'll bring it up to her, maybe she has an idea as well. So far she only knows of Tyson and Peaut, I never talked about Blade.

Actually, I have been bitten twice. Well, the first time it was Tyson who accidentally bit me in my thumb. Blade went after him but he also growled at me so Tyson has had enough. While I placed my hand on Blade's collar Tyson tried to bite him in the neck but got my thumb with his canine tooth. He immediately noticed and starting whining and licking my hand. I thought it wasn't too bad so I just cleaned it thoroughly and put a large bandaid on it. The next morning I woke up from being in a lot of pain and my thumb was like twice it's size so I went to the hospital. The second time Tyson was lying on the rug cleaning his paws. Blade was ready to run over and attack and so he growled at him. I placed my leg in front of him to prevent him from jumping over there and he looked at me, growled, looked at my leg and grabbed ahold of my foot. He shook it for roughly 5 seconds and even though I was wearing shoes he was able to rip off the top layer of my skin. I can see how both times were my fault, though, because I was reacting irresponsibly and should've used a different approach.

Rain, this is off topic but is your Chihuahua in the picture a purebred? I'm asking because he/she looks exactly like my Chihuahua Cookie, that passed away this past June; she was just a bit fluffier. However, she wasn't a purebred and we could never figure out what she was mixed with. We were told Pomeranian but she had more features of a Schipperke or Papillon. I miss her a lot and seeing your picture just made me very happy :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,177 Posts
I agree with what others have said. It might be to that Blade just is not a big fan of dogs in general.
It might be worth it to have a trainer/behaviorist come and asses what's going on, and hearing it from from them might make your husband realize what's been going on. And pending what the trainer says, you can work together and possibly with a shelter to find the right home for him.

It doesn't make you a bad dog trainer to rehome him. It means your a good pet parent for realizing that he is not the right fit for you and your family and dogs and vise versa. No one sounds very happy in this situation, and who knows Blade could be much calmer in one dog or one animal home with some one willing to take the time to work on his issues.
Another thing to keep in mind, just as we don't expect every person to get along with every person they meet, not every dog is going to like every dog or person he meets.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
223 Posts
Honestly, from what you've told us, I'm just as concerned about your husband as I am Blade. Why isn't your husband keeping his word about caring for the dog he wanted? Why isn't your husband more concerned about your safety and the peace and happiness of the household?

Additionally, your husband's reaction when you bring these concerns to his attention is complete inappropriate. If he didn't change his tune, I'd be rehoming him along with the dog.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,820 Posts
Yes that was my bad, I didn't clarify. It does seem like he's choosing Blade over everyone else's well being. And I don't see why. He doesn't do anything with the dog but pet him when he demands it. He doesn't even play with him or exercise him. That's on me. The reason he'd send him to live with his aunt is because he'd know where he's at and because she has a huge yard. Her yard isn't securely fenced in, though, so he would either be tied up or escape. I'm also worried about her pets. I've met them and they're wonderful! They're very friendly, outgoing and affectionate and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if he hurt or even killed them. I'm fairly certain his behavior is prey driven as he chases pretty much everything. We once took them to the lake and my husband let Blade off the leash, knowing that he doesn't listen. There were geese on the lake and before I got the chance to put the leash back on him he jumped in the water and tried to catch them. They were much faster than him but he continued to swim across the whole lake to chase them. I tried running to the other side, yelling and screaming his name, but I noticed quickly that the lake was way too big for me to be keeping up with them, so I ran to the car and drove to the other side. As I got there the geese have just turned around and Blade was still behind them. By the time I got back to the other side he was already out of the water chasing birds. I was done and told my husband to go catch him. At this point I didn't even care if he got lost. I ran through rose bushes and was all scratched up and I tripped over bumps in the ground so my foot was hurting. My husband just stood there and thought it was funny.

What you said about keeping a troubled dog is what worries me. Wouldn't it make me a bad dog trainer if I rehomed him and took the risk of him being possibly put down? That's what I'm thinking. And because he's a liability I'm wondering about this as well. I do have a therapist and I'm seeing her again next week. I'll bring it up to her, maybe she has an idea as well. So far she only knows of Tyson and Peaut, I never talked about Blade.

Actually, I have been bitten twice. Well, the first time it was Tyson who accidentally bit me in my thumb. Blade went after him but he also growled at me so Tyson has had enough. While I placed my hand on Blade's collar Tyson tried to bite him in the neck but got my thumb with his canine tooth. He immediately noticed and starting whining and licking my hand. I thought it wasn't too bad so I just cleaned it thoroughly and put a large bandaid on it. The next morning I woke up from being in a lot of pain and my thumb was like twice it's size so I went to the hospital. The second time Tyson was lying on the rug cleaning his paws. Blade was ready to run over and attack and so he growled at him. I placed my leg in front of him to prevent him from jumping over there and he looked at me, growled, looked at my leg and grabbed ahold of my foot. He shook it for roughly 5 seconds and even though I was wearing shoes he was able to rip off the top layer of my skin. I can see how both times were my fault, though, because I was reacting irresponsibly and should've used a different approach.

Rain, this is off topic but is your Chihuahua in the picture a purebred? I'm asking because he/she looks exactly like my Chihuahua Cookie, that passed away this past June; she was just a bit fluffier. However, she wasn't a purebred and we could never figure out what she was mixed with. We were told Pomeranian but she had more features of a Schipperke or Papillon. I miss her a lot and seeing your picture just made me very happy :)

I would say knowing that your home is not a good home for Blade and rehoming him would make you a wise trainer, one who'd smart enough to know that her home is not a good one for the dog. My boy Zody is fear aggressive towards people and large dogs, if I enjoyed hosting dinner parties and game nights multiple times a week and went out and adopted a large dog my home would no longer be a good one for him. If I hired a trainer and they told me that I'd not consider them a bad trainer. same with Blade, he's dog aggressive and living in a home with 2 other dogs, he's likely constantly stressed out and his over all behavior is probably worse because of it. If you do rehome him into an appropriate home you can offer your services to help with his other behavior problems like jumping up on people.

Zody, is a Chi x Dachshund mix. His mother was a pure bred dachshund, his father was a fence climbing Chihuahua from what I've been told. He was given to me by a friend when he was around a year old. I'm glad his picture brought a smile to your face :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sabina88

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I'm sure he'd do much better in a home where he can be the only dog. It's not like he's ready to kill every dog he meets but he doesn't know how to act around them and respect their boundaries. He doesn't approach and sniff before trying to play but instead wants to jump on their backs immediately and pin them down. Hackles up, growling and everything. He wants to pick fights as soon as something doesn't go his way so I haven't had him around other dogs in almost a year (other than visits to the vet and the dogs he sees outside). I could imagine that an older couple with no children and other pets may be good for him. A calm and steady household with a daily routine, if that makes sense. The problem will be getting my husband to understand that he needs a home which won't be his aunt's. I'm hoping that a behaviorist may be able to open his eyes. I never thought about this but it does sound like a good idea.

Wow I never would've guessed that he has Dachshund in him. We also got our girl when she was about a year old and she was actually a bit fear aggressive towards large dogs and sometimes people as well! It wasn't too bad though and she's grown to love Tyson eventually :) she tolerated Blade but she didn't really like him, just like Peanut hehe
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top