[Mandy G]

Hello everyone, I just lost my dog Tula, a borer collie mix. She was 15 years old. She had kidney disease and possibly a brain tumor. I had kept her fairly healthy and active for 6 months with IV fluids twice a day. Occassionally she was having seizures but those were under control too. During the holidays we stayed with my Mom for a couple nights at Christmas and she seemed fine. But I feel I made a mistake taking her to my Mom's again for New Years Eve to stay the night....maybe it caused her some stress because two days after we got back home, she started having seizures that would not stop, and I had to put her down. I feel so guilty that I took her on that trip. Maybe it stressed her out and caused the final seizures. I wish I had the answers about what caused the final seizures...and I really regret taking her on that trip for New Years.

 

[BigBlackDog]

Sorry for your loss! It's always difficult. But second guessing yourself is not the answer! For a Border Collie 15 yrs is a good long life. Take time to heal.

 

[JoanneF]

The doubts you have are a very normal part of the grieving process - wondering whether different choices would have resulted in different outcomes. But we can only make the decisions that we reach, using the information we have at the time we make them. You couldn’t have known the New Year visit was going to cause her to have more seizures - in fact, you probably still don’t know for sure whether that was the cause. You have been doing your best for her, for a long time, and it sounds like you have been very dedicated. But she was an old lady, she was never going to get better, and prolonging her life would not have improved her life. She was lucky to have such a caring owner.

I’m very sorry for your loss. If it will help, when you have had time to process this, you might want to share stories and photos.

 

[Schnauzaluv]

I went thru the same thing with my elder girl, She passed just before her 15th birthday. The vet seemed to think the seizures were related to her failing kidneys. I remember how hard it was always trying to make her comfortable and the stress of it all so I understand a bit of how you are feeling.

There's no way to stop the inevitable, take comfort that you have done all you could to help her stay comfortable and go on as long as she has. 15 years is a really nice ripe age.

 

[Curls]

Are you a divine being gifted with prescience and the healing touch? If so, you have my permission to feel guilty. Otherwise, no. You are a mortal working within the limits of mortal abilities. Dogs go on trips all the time, and most don't collapse as a result. We ordinary mortals can only control things within the mortal realm. It sounds like you did everything within your power to keep her stable and comfortable for her last six months. Very importantly, it also sounds like you were taking care of yourself: visiting your family, renewing connections with people who love you. Caring for a sick family member, whether a pet or a human, is stressful. Covid has been stressful too. Never feel guilty about making space for your own needs. Rage against the heavens for only granting dogs 15 years, if you wish, but rest assured you did what was within your earthly power to do.

 

[Schnauzaluv]

The vet seemed to think the seizures were related to her failing kidneys.

I said this to ease your mind that the stress of the visit might have caused the seizure. What I mean is seizure is fairly common when the organ failure is more prominent. There's nothing more you could have done. It is obvious you loved her very much, I trust she knows that.

 

[Shadowfox]

I'm sorry for your loss. If you hadn't taken her on that trip, and she still died, you would likely regret that as well. As @Schnauzaluv said, it could very likely have been her failing organs. And seizure frequency can often progress; it is seldom static. You love/loved her, and I'm sure she knew that.

 

[RodeoRiata]

Hello everyone, I just lost my dog Tula, a borer collie mix. She was 15 years old. She had kidney disease and possibly a brain tumor. I had kept her fairly healthy and active for 6 months with IV fluids twice a day. Occassionally she was having seizures but those were under control too. During the holidays we stayed with my Mom for a couple nights at Christmas and she seemed fine. But I feel I made a mistake taking her to my Mom's again for New Years Eve to stay the night....maybe it caused her some stress because two days after we got back home, she started having seizures that would not stop, and I had to put her down. I feel so guilty that I took her on that trip. Maybe it stressed her out and caused the final seizures. I wish I had the answers about what caused the final seizures...and I really regret taking her on that trip for New Years.

Hello Mandy,

I know how hard it is to lose and grieve a dog. Especially when the dog is your best friend. I am sorry about this, and will say a prayer for both you and Tula.
What you are going through is normal in the process of deploring your pup. It sounds like you were a wonderful, amazing dog mother.