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Hi, so I have an almost 9 months old poodle, she is so incredible smart and that is precisely why I need help.
She knows how much we love her and basically there are not consequences for bad behavior, for example If I get mad because she peed on the floor, my mom would just laugh and so on.
I'm trying to train her to go potty on a pad inside the house (we are pretty sure she knows that's the place ahead should be going but she only goes a handful of times a week) and I'm also trying to get her to sleep on her own bed instead of on my bed.... so today I put her on her bed, she got up, drank some water and peed all over her bed, next act? She's sleeping right next to me on my bed again...
And I already feel bad for her cause we're getting her castrated on Wednesday so...
And i also feel like it's my fault that she is now sleeping in my bed cause I let her do that, and at some point encouraged her to do it by placing her in my bed....
I feel like she is never gonna learn anything and like it's my fault... it's our first dog so we have no idea on how to raise a dog, but I'm pretty sure we should all be on the same page and as long as my mom, dad and sister keep laughing at her bad behaviors, I do not know what I am gonna do... please help! How did you get your dog to go potty where you want and to sleep on her bed?
 

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You are right, consistency is important. And she isn't doing these things to be naughty, she has simply not been taught to do what you want her to do. You talk if consequences, I'd like to change your mindset a little - when you were learning to do something (driving, or something at school) what consequences did you suffer if you got something wrong? Hopefully someone explained the right way to do it, rather than imposed a punishment.

So, about your dog. I don't like pads for toilet training for puppies. They give mixed messages about whether indoor toileting is allowed or not and confuse the puppy.

Toilet training happens when two things come together - the ABILITY to hold the toilet, along with the DESIRE to hold it in order to earn the reward for doing so.

Ideally you want her to not be in a position where she needs to toilet before you have her outdoors, so that every toilet is outside - as far as possible, there will be accidents! So set her up to succeed by taking her out even more than she needs; for example every 45 minutes to an hour and always after sleeping, eating, playing. Your aim is to have her outside before she can't help herself. When she toilets outdoors make a huge fuss (never mind the neighbours, act like outdoor toileting is the best thing you have ever seen) and reward her with a high value treat. Do that immediately, don't make her come to you for the treat so she is clear that it's for toileting and not for coming to you. The idea is that she wants to earn the treat enough to hold the toilet until she is outsidey. As she is actually performing the toilet you can introduce words she can associate with it (like 'do weewee' and 'busy busy') that later when she is reliably trained you can use these to tell her when you want her to toilet.

If you take her out and she doesn't toilet after five minutes, bring her in but don't take your eyes off her. Any hint of a toilet inside, scoop her up and get her out fast. If she doesn't try to toilet indoors (great!) take her out a second time and repeat until you do get outside toilets. You need the outside toilet to happen SO that you can reward SO that she learns.

If she has an accident inside don't react at all. If you get annoyed she may learn to fear your reaction and avoid you if she needs to toilet (by going off and toileting out of sight) - the opposite of what you want. Dogs cant make the distinction between you being annoyed at them TOILETING, as opposed to toileting INDOORS. Take a rolled up newspaper and hit yourself over the head for not having taken her outside in time. Not when she is there though in case you scare her. Indoor accidents are always your fault, not hers. Then clean the area with an enzymatic cleaner to remove any trace of smell that might attract her back to the spot.

Indoors if you see her circling or scratching the floor, that can sometimes precede toileting so get her out fast.

Overnight she may not be able to control her toilet if her little bladder and bowel are not strong enough to hold all night so set your alarm to take her out during the night.

For stopping her being on your bed, unless her surgery is keyhole you won't want her jumping up there anyway. So short term, block access to your bed.

Longer term, as I said, you need to teach her what you do want. So have a lovely bed for her next to yours. If she is on your bed, lure her off with a reward (you are not rewarding her for having been on your bed, you are rewarding her for coming off) while saying your cue word like ”off”. Then reward her again for in her own bed.

The video below may help - it is by Kikopup who has a lot of helpful videos on YouTube.


 
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