First, I am sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a dog, and I know when I got my current dog, I was also unprepared for how hard it was to adjust to a new (not very similar!) furry presence in the house. It's normal for things to be rough for awhile.
So normal that one of the foremost scientists & authors in the field of dog behavior has written some great blog posts about struggling to adapt to a new dog. I highly recommend reading this one: Three Ways to Confuse a New Dog
The piece of advice from that blog post that I would stress to you is this: try not to over-react to possible behavior problems. Yes, separation anxiety can be a big hassle, but it's also totally normal for a new dog, in a new home, to show signs of anxiety, be clingy, and have melt-downs when left alone for the first few times. You're doing a lot of good things, especially by keeping things low key and letting her settle in, and there's a good chance that you'll look around in 3-4 months and realize that some time, consistency, patience, and faith helped resolve many of the things you're worrying about now.
I live with a "velcro dog." By which I mean, if I am at home, she is usually either physically touching me or lying mere inches away. If I close the door when I'm in the bathroom, I only have to wait an instant before I hear a heavy sigh and the sound of a furry body settling down to wait for me on the other side of the door (even if other people are also home, sigh). And yet, she has learned to sleep in a different room from us, to be calm when I leave the house, to relax in a crate (at home or in the car), to endure occasional separation from me, and increasingly, to be a confident and independent dog. Some of those things came surprisingly easily to her, some required me to do a little extra work, like making sure she has a stuffed Kong or other treat to help her feel good when I leave...but none of it has been as awful as I worried it would be during the first few months, when I was feeling suffocated by my smothering, clingy new dog!
I don't think you need to continually exhaust your dog. In fact, I would not. Some exercise, sure, and some mental stimulation to keep her content and help her learn the new rules, but most of her energy can be spent on settling into this new place she finds herself. Being too tired can actually stress a dog out, especially when there are so many other things to adapt to. But I'm sure you'll find a good balance as you all learn to live together. And congratulations on the new addition, however much of a headache she's giving you for the moment!!
So normal that one of the foremost scientists & authors in the field of dog behavior has written some great blog posts about struggling to adapt to a new dog. I highly recommend reading this one: Three Ways to Confuse a New Dog
The piece of advice from that blog post that I would stress to you is this: try not to over-react to possible behavior problems. Yes, separation anxiety can be a big hassle, but it's also totally normal for a new dog, in a new home, to show signs of anxiety, be clingy, and have melt-downs when left alone for the first few times. You're doing a lot of good things, especially by keeping things low key and letting her settle in, and there's a good chance that you'll look around in 3-4 months and realize that some time, consistency, patience, and faith helped resolve many of the things you're worrying about now.
I live with a "velcro dog." By which I mean, if I am at home, she is usually either physically touching me or lying mere inches away. If I close the door when I'm in the bathroom, I only have to wait an instant before I hear a heavy sigh and the sound of a furry body settling down to wait for me on the other side of the door (even if other people are also home, sigh). And yet, she has learned to sleep in a different room from us, to be calm when I leave the house, to relax in a crate (at home or in the car), to endure occasional separation from me, and increasingly, to be a confident and independent dog. Some of those things came surprisingly easily to her, some required me to do a little extra work, like making sure she has a stuffed Kong or other treat to help her feel good when I leave...but none of it has been as awful as I worried it would be during the first few months, when I was feeling suffocated by my smothering, clingy new dog!
I don't think you need to continually exhaust your dog. In fact, I would not. Some exercise, sure, and some mental stimulation to keep her content and help her learn the new rules, but most of her energy can be spent on settling into this new place she finds herself. Being too tired can actually stress a dog out, especially when there are so many other things to adapt to. But I'm sure you'll find a good balance as you all learn to live together. And congratulations on the new addition, however much of a headache she's giving you for the moment!!
