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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Jasper will be 10 weeks tomorrow and we have had him home for 2 weeks. Rationally, I know things are going really well. He has not had a single accident, is sleeping from 9:30pm-5am in his crate, is sweet, social, etc. He is a great puppy.

I think I am feeling overwhelmed by the early wake-up every day, thus being tired all day long. I know everything feels worse when you are exhausted (I have had two kids so know the exhaustion makes things worse). We have two cats that we are trying to get Jasper acclimated to (or the other way around). Right now he is contained to a 4x4 pen in our living room b/c we have no rooms to gate off for him. On the positive, this has allowed the cats to come up to the pen and sniff, investigate, hang out, etc. w/o the threat of being chased, etc. But the negative is that I feel security with him in this little pen and am afraid to take him out to go around the house. I am worried about accidents, worried he will chase the cats (he has been out on the leash and tried to chase them). The cats I figured would hiss and swipe and put him in his place but they are instead just running away :( So I am feeling like this little puppy is in this pen and I am in this pen with him to play and keep him company and feel like I am trapped or something. I know I need to get him out and around the house ASAP before he's bigger and harder to train.

I am away from him from 8:30-1:45 when I am at work (I have a dog walker come) so I get a break, but once I am home I feel like I can't leave him b/c I have left him all morning. I am also feeling tied to this three times a day feeding schedule which makes it hard. He currently eats at 6/11/4. Is it too early to just do two times a day? The 4pm time is so he poops before bed and not in the middle of the night. As it is, he is pooping like 5-6 times per day!!!

Do I need to just take a deep breath and chill out? I'll fully admit that I am extremely organized, totally type A, feel pressure to be a good dog mom, maintain the peace in my house, etc. so I am sure I am putting a lot of this on myself.

My husband will help when he is home, but he isn't getting up with him at 5am or doing the early morning stuff. I'm the early riser in the family, though 5am is earlier than I'd like to be awake.

Anyway, thanks for listening if you made it this far. I know I am not the only one who has gone through this. I just needed to vent in a safe place. My husband is aware how I feel but doesn't really "get it" b/c he isn't tired and his routine hasn't changed all that much.
 

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I always got frustrated when people told me how good and calm Echo was, made me feel terrible for resenting how much time she took up and she was a monster at home.

Things that might help:

- designate a day for hubby to wake up early so you get some sleep.
- get a second ex pen so you have more room to play. You should be able to trust her in the house for about 15 mins after a potty break if you'd like to start giving her freedom, it will reinforce housetraining too.
- take some time for yourself, it really sounds like you need this. If the worst that happens is an accident is that really so bad? You being happy is more important than puppy being house trained in record time right? In Echo's case she started with up to 15 accidents in a day and is now pretty much house trained. That was without crate time during the day because she hates being locked in with a passion, we're working on that.

I'm making a lot of assumptions here and aren't an expert but I hope it helps.
 

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Things are going well overall but sometimes I still feel overwhelmed, especially when I am trying to split my attention between two kids and a puppy (which I knew ahead of time would be something I'd have to do).

Some days I feel awesome and on top of everything...and other days I feel scatterbrained and like I'm failing my puppy. Then Ringo does something we've been working on the last few days (goes into his crate on command, drops a stolen slipper when I ask) or comes over to lick my face, and I feel like all is not lost after all. :D I definitely feel you on the lack of sleep and free time, though. Right now we're all sick so that plus my 5am starts are making it very hard for me to stay motivated all day long.

Chas has great suggestions. Definitely take some time to do something without the dog. Can you tether him to you so you don't have to spend so much time with him in the pen?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Things are going well overall but sometimes I still feel overwhelmed, especially when I am trying to split my attention between two kids and a puppy (which I knew ahead of time would be something I'd have to do).

Some days I feel awesome and on top of everything...and other days I feel scatterbrained and like I'm failing my puppy. Then Ringo does something we've been working on the last few days (goes into his crate on command, drops a stolen slipper when I ask) or comes over to lick my face, and I feel like all is not lost after all. :D I definitely feel you on the lack of sleep and free time, though. Right now we're all sick so that plus my 5am starts are making it very hard for me to stay motivated all day long.

Chas has great suggestions. Definitely take some time to do something without the dog. Can you tether him to you so you don't have to spend so much time with him in the pen?
Made some progress today. I decided on my way home from work that I was going to spend a decent amount of time with him out of the pen and just deal with whatever happened. I had a leash on him the entire time. At first it was hard- he was barking at the cats and when I tried to pull him back he growled at me :eek: But then I got out the boiled chicken and started asking him to sit and he got it right away. He was 100% focused on that chicken and was able to sit and stay calm right next to the cats. I continued to treat as he remained focused and calm and I started to feel better about things. I learned that he is VERY food motivated which will help with training and feel better about the fact that he can be out of the pen (leashed to me of course) and have it be not as stressful as I an ticipated. At one point he also went over to the back door and got up on his hind legs and then sat and looked at me and I took him outside and he peed and pooped :thumbsup: So anyway, baby steps. The anxiety is still there as the night looms and I wonder how much (or how little) sleep I will get tonight, but I am feeling hopeful that if I am consistent with training things will slowly improve.
 

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That's great! I'm glad having him on leash in the house worked out so well. Ringo spends part of the day tethered to me, as well. I like that it gives me plenty of opportunities to reward him for sitting, lying down, etc.

I'm totally with you on the nighttime anxiety, though. Everything from dinnertime on is always a juggling act. Gotta try to play/train enough before dinner so he relaxes with a chew or Kong while we eat and then hopefully naps through the kids' bedtime routines. Then it's more of the same until we go to bed around 11. The only good thing about it, is that he's predictable so at least I know I'll be up at 1am and 5am. Wish I could say the same for the kids! For now, I just try to have enough coffee ready for the morning...
 

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just keep him awake in the evening longer, then he'll sleep longer in the morning after a while.

house leashing is awesome to deen the relationship between handler and dog, it gives you direct control about what he's doing and getting him used on being relaxed on leash.
generally, if you are present, keep him with you and directly intervene (redirect) when he does something you don't want.
however...babies, animal or human, need time to learn the "house rules" and they need time to grow up.
there will be mistakes and miscomunications between you and the dog. it is important to handle them calmly and gentle and tell yourself that it's not the dogs fault, it because the handler was not able to make the dog know what they want or read the dog's behaviour and bodylanguage or too slow to prevent mishaps from happening.
don'T get angry at the dog, try to not get frustrated and move on knowing better the next time.
 

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Hi MHDDOG2016, I feel your pain. I think I'm quite like you in that I put myself under a lot of pressure to be a good dog owner, do all the right things for Bodie, manage his schedule, while trying to work and look after two kids, all while my husband is away Mon-Fri. My husband didn't really want a dog, so I find I'm more stressed at weekends, trying to keep things running smoothly and keeping the mornings quiet. At your stage, I was wondering what the heck I'd done and was feeling seriously down. But something clicked into place last week and I began to feel more calm about it all and relaxed into it. Bodie is 19 weeks today, and I still sometimes feel like I'd like to go back to my more carefree life, but I also think the house would be too quiet without him! I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will get easier. I didn't believe it myself at the time, but now I can see it for myself. Hang in there, and try to get some downtime for yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone. The support means a lot and makes my days more manageable. I had a good day Tuesday and Wednesday, and then last night Jasper crashed at 7:45 PM and we COULD NOT WAKE HIM. We tried everything and he was just so pooped. So off to his crate he went at 8:30 PM. Was up at 9:30PM, 10:50PM and then 4:20 AM this morning for the day. So once again I am exhausted and sad, but know it is from lack of sleep. I try to just go bed when he does, but then I hear every little nose and am up half the night...anyway, I know it will get better. the weather has been a HUGE factor here too- rain for days, Jasper hates getting his feet wet and cries when we go out to potty. Well, tomorrow is a new day and they say the sun might poke through, so fingers crossed. And my husband promised me that I get Mother's Day all to myself so I plan on sleeping in and then leaving the house for the day with no responsibilities :)
 

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That is an awesome mother's day gift! I also woke up at every little sound, which then woke echo... Turns out all of us sleep better is the crate is in the hallway outside our closed door, we can still hear her if she wants out but normal movement is muted enough.

Same here for the rain, such a bother!
 

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I asked for the same thing for Mother's Day lol.

I'm sorry Jasper was up a lot last night, and that the weather's not cooperating. We're having the same problem but instead of rain, it's 100 degrees. Let's just say that our 'take it/drop it' has improved from playing so much tug. Hopefully tomorrow we can get out of the house.

I'm sure things will start looking up. Fingers crossed for sunny days, and a relaxing Mother's Day! :thumbsup:
 

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Hi. I just wanted to write to say that I am in somewhat of the same position. MHDDOG2016 I have just received your message but I cant reply to you until I've posted 5 times. So thats what I'm trying to do here. I really, really appreciate your message and will respond as soon as I can.

For the other people on this thread, I posted on here a few days ago. I have a nine month old Australian Labradoodle. She came from a breeder and dog trainer who could not sell her as she was born with the 'incorrect coat' which means one that sheds and isn't curly. She is calm and placid (for the most part) and is beginning to settle in well. But I wasn't prepared for the way I would suddenly feel, the only way I can describe it is like post natal depression! I had a dog growing up and have wanted one for years and years, but it was like the minute she set foot in our home I started to get regrets.

We have had her for a week now and I do feel a bit better - like others have said, evenings are better than the mornings for some reason. Maybe because I'm relieved I have gotten successfully through the day!

I think I know now that it will take time to form a bond, and I love Mouse more now than ever and I hope this feeling will grow. When that happens I can totally forgive the pup for the time and heartache she has caused her owners. For me the issue is also around trust - I need to be able to trust that she wont bite my children. I know that this fear is irrational as she is lay at my feet as I type. And dogs dont just attack for no reason (right?!?) Deep down I know that fear will go as the trust and bond grow.

I just did not expect to feel this way and it has taken me completely by surprise!

Thank you to everyone who provides support and reassurance on this forum, without being judgemental.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It is SO much like post natal depression. You plan and plan and hope and wish, and then the reality is overwhelming and you wonder what you were thinking, grieve your life prior, miss your freedom, etc. People keep telling me that one day it all falls into place and you can't imagine life without that little pup. Right now all I do is imagine my life without the pup- LOL
 

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It really is like PND! I remember having all of those feelings after I had my son and wondered how the heck people have more than one child. This time I was wondering how people manage to have any kind of freedom when they have a dog! And I was having serious (and I mean serious) regrets. It meant so much to me to read here that this was totally normal and that I wasn't a horrible person. Fast-forward about 9-10 weeks and I started to feel more relaxed and comfortable with our new routine. It just kind of 'clicked'. I still find it all a bit restrictive, but I'm less uptight about leaving Bodie for periods of time, he is sleeping really well at night and I'm not up as early with him. We're beginning to get to know each other better and my daughter adores him. It makes it all worthwhile when she comes home after a tough day at school (when you're 9, the small things can be tough!) and she sits down on the floor to have a cuddle with him. She's always in a brighter mood afterwards. I'm enjoying him more too and there is less stress in looking after him.
All I can say to you is that I was feeling all of the things you are feeling now, and it got better, so hang in there and try to look after yourself in the meantime.
 

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I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. Yesterday I had to take our cat to the vets as she was limping. It turns out she has broken her leg (she's refractured an old break) and yesterday she had her leg amputated.

The vet was very pessimistic about introducing a new dog to a three legged cat. He said the cat would be unduly stressed and her quality of life would be affected.

Now what do I do?

I'm totally devastated. We were just making progress with our pup and we love her very much but the cat was here first and we love her desperately. I feel like I have to rehome one, but I do not want to. I asked the vet if I could just always keep them apart and he said that cats are territorial and she will be stressed out just knowing the dog is downstairs.

This situation has certainly put my last panic into perspective. I'm no longer panicking about having our dog, now I'm panicking about losing her!
 
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