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Discussion Starter #1
So I knew bringing Aayla home wasn't going to be easy integrating her with Kota. He is grumpy with strange dogs. I thought I had it planned out well, apparently I had misjudged Kota's ability to socialize with other dogs. I banked too much on the fact that older dogs tend to be more forgiving of puppies. This is long but I want to give an accurate story so I get honest opinions.

We introduced them away from the house after Kota went out for a walk. I was sitting down with Aayla in my lap and my BF walked Kota over. I told him to keep the leash loose and it would ok if he growled, as long as he didn't lunge.

At first he was very growly. Grumbling under his breath and sniffing her. She was worn out from the drive over and is more people oriented than dog oriented. So she just avoided eye contact and in general ignored him, but she was a little nervous. We kept letting Kota sniff and then separating so they could have some space, wait and then repeat. He would get extra tense and growly if she looked at him. Yet that was all what I expected, that is the same as he did with Dino and they became best buds. I got up and let them wander around, smelling grass and they just ignored each other.

Then at one point during one of his sniffs at her backside he bit her. She wasn't facing him, moving towards him or looking at him. He didn't growl, he just bit and jumped back. He didn't hurt her, but startled her a bit. We ended up giving them some space for a few minutes before sitting down on the grass together again with them not in touching distance, but close in proximity. I CC for all looks towards her without growling and he seemed to calm down and relax with her around.

In the house we kept them separate, I did a few CC exercises with Kota. They both were pretty happy to stay away from each other. I kept Aayla on a leash and Kota was roaming free. At one point I was walking back in the house from Aayla's potty break and she said hi to my BF, neither of us saw Kota walk up but he did and grabbed Aayla on the scruff, once again no growl, no warning. I grabbed him by the collar and he instantly stopped as I put him outside. He was startled by me grabbing him and yelped, I didn't want to punish him but I wanted him away from her. Aayla was very scared at that point (she had no marks or sore spots, I checked so he didn't bite hard) and it took several minutes for her to calm down.

I feel like an absolute failure. Not only has she been really scared during her prime socialization window but it was by the resident dog. It put the relationship between me and my BF on strain. He knows how much I need a dog of my own and how much of my life revolves around it and that I have been planning for years to get a puppy. I wasn't going to ask him to give up Kota and he didn't want me to give up Aayla. He said I would resent Kota for making it a one dog household. Which I can't say is untrue. Yet at the same time I'm not willing to throw away my relationship. I am also not willing to put Aayla in danger.

I am considering giving her back to the breeder. Kota was here first and my BF has had him for years. Plus because of his diabetes and being a people fearful dog, he would be near impossible to rehome. So he gets to stay regardless.

It's only been a day, but I'm heartbroken. Does this sound like something that with CC and keeping them separate but within eyesight can fix?

He doesn't approach her, and I'm keeping her away from him. Its not like he is charging her or chasing her down. This morning everything has gone well, I've kept her on a leash and always more than 15 feet away from Kota. They have seen each other and watched each other from across the room. He has sniffed her while I was carrying her today. No growls today, a little stiffness from him, but he loosened up when I pet him and he got a soft body with a tail wag while they were close but not interacting. Kota is typically grumpy with other dogs, but I've only seen him bite once when Dino got really into his face, and it was an appropriate warning bite without hurting Dino.
 

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One day is not nearly enough time to decide. I also have a dog that takes a bit longer to integrate with other dogs, but given time at his pace is very doable. I recommend keeping them separate for a while longer and see if his body language softens as the days pass. I would not let them interact too close right now seeing as Kota has already nipped twice at the pup and you wouldn't want your pup to be come fearful of other dogs so soon.

How does he react when the pup is put in a crate or behind a gate?
 

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One day is not nearly enough time to decide. I also have a dog that takes a bit longer to integrate with other dogs, but given time at his pace is very doable. I recommend keeping them separate for a while longer and see if his body language softens as the days pass. I would not let them interact too close right now seeing as Kota has already nipped twice at the pup and you wouldn't want your pup to be come fearful of other dogs so soon.

How does he react when the pup is put in a crate or behind a gate?
Thats what my boyfriend and I are considering. Give it a week. I'd hate myself if Kota hurt her though and between getting really sick, not sleeping through the night and the whole situation I have spent half the time she has been here crying. So I'm trying to not rush, but I think those puppy blues are already getting to me.

I would have to force Kota over to the fence. So I have no idea, I'm not going to force them being together. He won't approach her playpen or crate. He sleeps by the front door. (Small condo so the front door is pretty much at the opposite end where her playpen is.) He did approach her playpen to say hello to me this morning and I gave him a few treats, but Aayla whined and he left. He didn't attempt to say hi to her. Which I appreciate that behavior more than the alternative.
 

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Don't force Kota into anything, just do a rotation until he settles with the new changes and see if he will eventually approach her through a barrier. I do recommend taking them for their daily walks together with your boyfriend, just have them on opposite sides with no contact. Take a different elevator if needed too. Baby steps. :)
 

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Has he ever met a puppy before? He could be confused by this little dog-like thing, and that could be making his interactions come across worse.

I'd continue to separate, but if they're okay being within eyesight of each other, let them.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Don't force Kota into anything, just do a rotation until he settles with the new changes and see if he will eventually approach her through a barrier. I do recommend taking them for their daily walks together with your boyfriend, just have them on opposite sides with no contact. Take a different elevator if needed too. Baby steps. :)
I really worry about walking Aayla because she is only 8 weeks and has only had her first set of shots. We both think that would be the best way to get them to like each other. It worked great with Dino because he learned when he saw Dino he got a walk. We have considered taking Kota back to his dad's house (which could only be temporary) and then walking them together a couple times a week so he learns that Aayla means he gets to go for a walk. But I'm so afraid of Parvo and the other puppy killers. :( I'm still not sure if walks outside are okay or not as long as I avoid areas that get high dog traffic.

I'm considering trying to do a trip to Home Depot or something, Kota could go in the cargo area (I have a compact SUV) and Aayla could stay in my lap up front. That way they can walk around and its not really a doggy area, and gets cleaned daily.
 

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Has he ever met a puppy before? He could be confused by this little dog-like thing, and that could be making his interactions come across worse.

I'd continue to separate, but if they're okay being within eyesight of each other, let them.
Thats what I was thinking it is. I asked the BF and he said he doesn't think Kota has ever met one. She still has her puppy smell that I can detect. He does have a high prey drive with opossums and rabbits and what not. He used to catch the opossums and kill them. So I think he isn't registering Aayla as a dog. He has had small dog (toy poodles, chihuahuas, poms) interactions and hasn't had a prey drive on them, just sniffs and growls if they get near his face then walks away.
 

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Shot, I forgot about the puppy shots. Kota could still come along for her putty breaks. or is she going on puppy pads indoors?

I personally would leave Kota with you guys. The more he's around, the faster he will get used to her being there. Just my opinion though.
 

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I can't offer much advice for the dog to dog interactions as Levi was the opposite end of the spectrum, he loved Heidi too much! However, I wanted you to know that my parent's dog (a grumpy lab-pit mix) bit Heidi right on her snout (no blood, but a scratch) when she was about 11 weeks, and she still loves to meet and play with new dogs. Just continue on with your socialization plan, I'm sure two incidents are not going to scar her or anything.

Hang in there! :)
 

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Can you take a video of their interaction? It doesn't sound to me like what you described is necessarily out of line, it could be but its hard to tell without actually seeing they're body language.
 

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@timber - We are lucky enough to have a yard so she is going for potty breaks out in the yard. Kota always follows us. He loves being outside so every time someone else is, he joins. So he stands and just watches while we do our potty break. But he typically won't leave the patio while Aayla's out on the grass. We will see how we can keep managing it with him here. Right now its hard enough to walk across the room. With Kota next to the bathroom and kitchen I can't have her on the ground, and we are just barely starting to work on crate training. She still throws huge fits if I leave her in there. If I just leave her in her playpen I don't want her to work herself up into an anxious mess.

Or maybe I should be doing that. I'm trying to do it in small increments while I'm next to her and when she calms down I let her out.
@Shandula Thanks, good to hear its not permanent scaring for her. I'm hoping to get with some friends that have very friendly dogs (and vaccinated) for her to interact with.
@Esand - Right now I refuse to just let them interact but I could possible film them within proximity of each other. It wasn't a puppy correction. I've seen that plenty of times from other dogs. These bites reminded me exactly watching him attack a opossum. Small but fast nips from running in, playing with it before really diving in to kill in. (It was hard trying to get him away from it and not get bit by him or the opossum.) Thats why it scared me so much. If it was correction bites I would be less worried. She will be walking away from him, not facing him and I was holding her with her face away from him when he bit her those two times. They were unprovoked on her part.
 

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@ThatYellowDog I wasn't talking about a correction, I was talking about a sort of an opening for interaction. In my experience with dogs the in - sometimes with a nip, sometimes with a head butt- and quick jump back is part of a meeting ritual. Although to judge that you really need to look at the body language so really only you can know.

I believe you should let it play out a little more, see how she reacts, if she doesn't like it she'll let him know. If he doesn't respect a negative from her, that is when you have a problem.

As long as one of you has his leash, I don't think you need to worry about him causing serious harm. I also think you're doing the introduction backwards. Instead of walking Kota towards the puppy in your lap, you should stand with kota in one place holding his leash and allow aayla to roam free, let her come to him and initiate the contact or not the other way around.
 

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@Esand I get what you mean now. The first one might have been like that, I can see it as a type of open mouth muzzle punch. The second time when he bit her he actually picked her up before I grabbed him. She yelped and yet he didn't let go until I stepped in. It was a split second but I know he didn't let go when she yelped and tried to get away.

Kota is a fearful and nervous dog. He reacts worse when he feels confined. So thats why we have been letting him approach if he wants to or not. He tends to not be fearful of dogs but I know he has confinement problems. These confinement problems are a bit worse in the house. We have noticed this with people but he had been okay with Dino so we didn't expect it like this.

Things have been a lot better since the first day, but I still don't feel comfortable with them interacting quite yet.
 

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If it makes you feel any better, I actually had the exact same problem when I brought Chisum home - but reversed. My current dogs were very welcoming of this new little creature...Chisum, not so much. He growled and even tried to attack the other dogs, which I frankly wasn't expecting from an 8 week old puppy.

He slowly got more confident and used to the other dogs. He's even not so bad with strange dogs. It was just a change, I think.

I think if you take it slowly, they'll learn to get along. If nothing else, they'll learn to comfortably avoid each other. :)

You're very aware, knowledgeable, and diligent so I really think it will be just fine.
 

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@PoppyKenna Wow! Wouldn't expect that at all from an 8 week old!

I have a bit of an update and its a good one!

Aayla surprised us with all of a sudden getting a lot of confidence and isn't being as stuck to my side. (as expected) and she wants to just play with Kota all the time. We have let them sniff each other with one of us in the middle and its been going well. Kota hasn't growled at all and when he gets uncomfortable he has been disengaging.

Since that point she has been hard to keep away from him. She has been needing the leash to keep her away from him. So Sometimes Kota would come over to say hello to me of my BF and we let aayla approach on a leash so she can only get so close without bothering him. Yesterday he even gave her a bit of a tail wag when she play bowed!

So we have been letting her have a bit more free rein around the house, letting her follow us around instead of mostly carrying her. Kota is fine with that, he hasn't stared her down or growled in days. So we've been allowing small interactions. Letting her walk up to him, they sniff and we pick her up and take her away. A couple times she has had more energy and licked his face, nips at his feet before we can remove her. Kota is now disengaging from all of that as well.

We are still going to prevent her from just pouncing all over him, but I'm starting to trust him to treat her like a puppy and not a opossum.
 
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