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Thanks guys, it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one. I do end up having conversations with the BF, he just doesn't understand it, though most of the time he will take what I say and do it. At least when I'm there, lets not get started on my worries about what happens when I'm not there.
He has always had a dog that just hangs out in the backyard with minimal training. He once told me that he thought it was cruel to do training because what animal would like to be forced to do things...We actually had a heated argument on that one. He also takes all of my rules as a direct hit from me saying he is a bad dog owner. So he gets offended because how he wants to interact with Aayla is exactly how he interacts with Kota and I pretty much shut him down telling him that all of that creates bad habits. In the end he is starting to understand my point, but its a long road of trying to change his opinion on dog ownership.
I have a really really hard time standing up for myself and things I believe in. So I think I get really stressed out trying to enforce my rules about the dog because my BF gets so offended. I am so unconfrontational that I typically end up doing whatever to keep the peace. I'm trying to not nitpick at him for everything, but its hard not to.
Have you tried telling him that an Aussie is a very intelligent breed of dog and if you don't harness that intelligence and teach them commands and tricks, so that they get mentally tired, they will think up their own things to do and 10 to 1 the owner will not like what they think up. You could also explain that you want a bilingual dog that not only speaks dog but knows some human words. That training a dog properly is not forcing it to do something, that learning is a job for them and the rewards are their paycheck, that if he did not want to train he would not be forced to like you see with dominance based trainers who train by using punishment as a consequence.