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I figured I'd get a thread started to have a little laugh. I'm a first time pup parent so I get a little too paranoid, and I know all of us were first time pawrents at some point. I wanted to share a couple of silly stories! Please share yours too!

1. Washing dishes in the kitchen, 13 week old is in the living room in his pen. All is quiet all is well. Then I hear a grumble/yelp/bark mixed together - a sound i've never heard him make before. Paranoid pawrent decides to take a little peek. I see puppy is sprawled across his bed with his head dangling off of it. "Haha he's probably dreaming! I wanna take pics!" - I take my phone out and slowly approach him, only to find out he's wide awake. Eyes staring straight at nothing - not blinking. Umm... what the heck? I call his name, no response. That's weird, he's never done that before. I call his name again in a much much happier tone than usual. No response again. Still staring straight ahead - no blinking, no eye movement, no movement whatsoever. I start to get nervous - I get closer. I stand and stare at him. No movement, no nothing. I say "TREAT!" LITTLE TERROR JUMPS UP LOOKS AT ME WAGGING HIS TAIL. I grumble to myself and walk away.

2. Night time potty break at 2am! Groggy puppy is taken outside where he stares into the darkness. Usually he's gone potty by now what the heck? All of the sudden - he starts nipping and biting the air as if trying to get something. Paranoid pawrent panics "omg is he having seizure!?!?!!" I inspect further - mosquitos are flying around and he keeps trying to get at them. Oh. ok.

3. Flash back at 8 weeks. Daddy is watching puppy upstairs, or so I thought. Mommy cleaning the downstairs area when all of the sudden I hear - thud, thud thud, thud. I run to the stairs. I see puppy falling down like a slinky down the stairs. I scream with worry. Puppy faceplants down the last step. I rush towards him. He jumps back up from faceplanting, wagging tail, I try to approach, he wags his tail and runs away wanting me to chase him. Omg. I thought you were hurt!!!
 

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Puppy sees yummies on kitchen island
Puppy takes a running jump to get on counter
Puppy hasn't learned about momentum or granite countertops
Puppy slides length of island and flies head first into refrigerator, then lands on shoulder
Puppy looks dazed and is limping a bit, rush to vet, mild concussion and bruising, rest and observation prescribed.
Puppy very sad that we do not get to walk and play for the next couple of days
Puppy never counter-surfs again!
(I am NOT suggesting this approach to prevent counter-surfing! She could have really been hurt!)
 

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The first few nights Katie was home, I didn't sleep at all. If she was moving around, I was convinced there was something wrong. If she was still, I was convinced she was dead. Life has been pretty much like that all along.

Last Thanksgiving, I thought Katie was in the family room with my husband. He thought she was in the kitchen with me. We couldn't find her - commence panic. I ran outside, calling for her. My brother-in-law, opened the back door (that leads to the fenced yard). She was at the door, looking forlorn - "why have you left me here all alone??" I'm pretty sure I lost several years of my life in those 5 minutes.
 

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@laceyj19 I am sorry but I laughed so hard at that! All I can picture is you trying to sidle down the stairs carrying the puppy in a sack and humming your own theme song like Kronk from the Emperors new Groove.

I have near heart attacks on a daily basis since sight hound puppies truly believe that they can fly. Coraline has blissfully launched herself off of some pretty high places.

My living room is currently covered in dog beds so when she launches herself off of something and I don't manage to catch her -she lands on a dog bed instead of the tile flooring.
 

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I basically can't go out without having daymares about my house being engulfed in rapid-spreading flames with Index still in his metal and plastic crate.

I'm almost famous for wanting to turn the car around to check for the 1000000000000th time that the stove really is off because of it.
 

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I'm hyper-sensitive about Erik because he's a super sensitive dog.

Here's an example from just yesterday:

Me: Erik's ears are down. Is he sad? Sick? Too hot? Did I do something to upset him?

BF: Uh . . .

Me: Maybe we over-stressed him! Or my body language is threatening! What if he has heatstroke?!

BF: I think you're worried about nothing.

Me: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT FOR SURE?

Erik was fine. He just had some gas.
 

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My dog is on vacation at the beach w my family and injured her toe a week or so ago. She was limping slightly at the trot only and the toe obviously hurt when it was manipulated(she yelped and pulled away). I was FREAKING out, mainly since I'm not there to care for her. I was convinced it must be broken in a million places and would take months to heal.
My aunt who is a vet was there and examined her thoroughly, but I was not satisfied. I wanted her to go the vet clinic and possibly get xrays, I wanted her to have pain medication right away (my aunt said she would mail some when she got home), I wanted her on more complete rest, and so on and so forth. Well, just 4 days later and she's completely FINE! Not lame at all at any gait, the toe was only ever so slightly the tiniest bit sore when manipulated, but at this point a few more days later that is better too. And Nika is happy to be back out on the beach.
I feel a little silly for freaking out so badly, but to be fair if I'd been there w her I probably wouldn't have been QUITE as bad. I bet I still would have been very concerned though.
I'm a paranoid owner for sure.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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Oh gosh, when Riley was a puppy I seriously thought he was made of glass. I'd get freaked out and wake him up just to make sure he was still alive. I also cried like a baby the first time I left him to go on vacation. I was so worried something would happen or he wouldn't get enough attention/exercise etc. I missed him so much I even skyped with him (and while I skyped I had to try not to cry) haha.

Once, my bro texted me in a panic saying there was something wrong with Riley. I asked him what and he said he was twitching in his sleep. Little dude was just dreaming. I thought it was really cute that my brother was worried about him :p
 
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When I was 11 my parents told me I could have a puppy (my dog had recently passed). I wanted a shelter puppy, and we'd never adopted before. My dad wanted an Aussie mix; the shelter told us she was one, which of course was a lie - she was a Lab - but that's neither here nor there.

Before I left with my puppy, the woman working at the shelter recited to me (not my father - me!) a laundry list of diseases puppies can catch that can be fatal; keep an eye on her, get her to the vet, etc. Of course all our dogs were regularly vetted, but she put the fear of death in me....I spent the next year terrified that my little pup was going to just drop dead of something. Didn't help that she was a crazy dog and was always getting herself into scrapes -- escaping out of doors and even getting her head stuck in a fish tank!

I'm still paranoid, though. I always have Chisum out on a leash (our yard isn't fenced). I am totally against leaving dogs outside unsupervised, lest they be injured or stolen. I'll put Chisum on a tie out, but only while I am right there to watch. I don't think I'm crazy, just very, very careful. My dad says that I'm mean to not give him more freedom, but I'm not willing to take chances with his life. He can have fun-run time in the pasture, far away from any road :)

..as long as it's not winter/spring when the ponds are frozen. Too afraid of him falling through the ice. He did, actually, last spring but thankfully the ice was really thin and I could just smash in after him. ;) Learned my lesson!
 

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How about a paranoid dog? This is Boone, on a daily basis, going for a walk around our complex.

Leave the front yard, and just past the gate stop and scope out the area in case something is different, or there are cats somewhere about. If everything is safe, move out. Keep an eye out for movement, and if you see anything (a branch, a leaf, a blade of grass, a fly, a speck of dust, a shadow), stop dead and look at it suspiciously. Periodically bounce into the air on all fours, like a cat, for no apparent reason, while looking surprised. Give a wide berth to anything that wasn't there yesterday - balls, kids toys, bags, etc.

Look through the trees bordering the neighbors to make sure they aren't out there doing stuff neighbors do. If they are, threaten to bark. Check out balconies of the buildings to make sure nobody is out there doing whatever people do on balconies; again, be ready to bark at any sign they might be looking at you. Check constantly for cats, squirrels and the next door dog.

If a car is coming, stop whatever you are doing and watch carefully as the car goes about it's nefarious business. If it gets too close, bark at it. If anyone in the car looks at you, bark. If other people happen to be walking around the complex, stare at them intently and if they look at you, bark! Periodically spook mom by keeping your tail tucked, and watching behind you as if ghouls are sneaking up.

On the way back to your front door, where you know dogs/people have appeared unexpectedly at any time in the last five years, become extra-alert; bounce on your front feet and growl, cause you might be paranoid, but that doesn't mean something isn't out there.

Some might consider this degree of paranoia overkill, but from Boone's POV, it's working .. he's alive, eating well and has a pretty good life. :)
 
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