[5things]

Hello all,

A little history - I grew up with dogs but that was a loooong time ago. I had a dog with my husband (puppy) all was well and we were playing house with our new baby. He died suddenly when he was 7 years old. I was devastated to say the least because of course he became 'my dog'.

My kids have asked for dogs on and off for years. More so my daughter. Our current living situation didn't allow for a dog but most recently it has. I so wanted to allow her this gift of a dog so we got a puppy. Well guess who is taking care of him - dd is back at school and all of her activities so she is overwhelmed and feeling guilt about the pup. I can't sit her down long enough to talk to her. I think she feels like a bad dog owner which I also don't want to put on her. My son who is home is usually doing his own thing. I don't want this to effect her in her life and now not only feel like a horrible dog owner but a horrible parent.

I have mentioned my concerns and talk about rehoming or returning to the shelter as we are only 4 days into him being here. He is the sweetest little guy but I feel like this once again will be 'my dog'. I like dogs, they are fun and great and all of that but then there is all the other things.

The long term commitment, two kids who will eventually move out and I will be with the dog. This could be a great thing as I will then be alone (empty nester) but all of the heartache down the road really threw me last time. I don't remember that with out family dogs because I was the teen and doing my own thing. I can't completely put my finger on it which is bothering me. But I am losing sleep, uncomfortable and torn. And of on a completely other crazy thought process wondering how this will effect everyone if we do return him or rehome him.

I was trying to keep my thoughts to myself but now that my daughter has also mentioned her concerns I feel like we should be responsible and give him back. Both kids say they like him but then there is all the time he is literally just sitting at my feet. There isn't a lot of playing with him because everyone is doing their thing.

I am sure there is judgement headed my way but I am so overwhelmed I am spending my work day reading forums and looking up articles.

Thank you for reading.

 

[JoanneF]

First, no judgement.

But you know your daughter’s schedule and how much involvement she is likely to have. Realistically, you are right, the bulk of the dog’s care will likely land on you, so the question is, do you want to persevere. I don’t want to sound unkind, but you really need to set aside your daughter’s guilt over this.

And it has only been 4 days, and you haven’t had time to establish a routine. Do you think once you have set a routine, the amount of commitment needed will match with what you are prepared to give?

You refer to him as a puppy, is he very young? Because his needs will change and get easier once he is house trained and so on.

Is there anything specific that you are finding more challenging than other things? Because sometimes a simple adjustment can make a big difference.

 

[5things]

First, no judgement.

But you know your daughter’s schedule and how much involvement she is likely to have. Realistically, you are right, the bulk of the dog’s care will likely land on you, so the question is, do you want to persevere. I don’t want to sound unkind, but you really need to set aside your daughter’s guilt over this.

And it has only been 4 days, and you haven’t had time to establish a routine. Do you think once you have set a routine, the amount of commitment needed will match with what you are prepared to give?

You refer to him as a puppy, is he very young? Because his needs will change and get easier once he is house trained and so on.

Is there anything specific that you are finding more challenging than other things? Because sometimes a simple adjustment can make a big difference.

Thank you for your reply. He is a little under 3 months. He is really a great pup it is just the time. I am working from home now (which may change in 4 months) and he is either just sitting here or getting into mischief which is normal I know. He is so sweet I just am feeling removed with the situation and almost like it is one more task.

 

[BigBlackDog]

Like Joanne said, no harm in returning the pup to the shelter! If you aren't ready for the commitment!

Sometimes though, once you make the initial adjustment it does get way easier and more pleasant. It's really up to you though, it's a good lesson for all to have given it a shot!

 

[larrygmoody]

Nobody knows the answer to your question better than you. If your daughter (or son) cannot participate in caring for the dog, then it is fully your choice as to whether to keep him or not. Caring for a puppy will take a significant chunk of time out of your day. I am retired and I watch my daughter's dogs (two adults and two puppies) while she works away from home. It's easy for me to take them out every hour or so, and to play with them a lot but it does take time and if you don't have the time, then there's your answer. Consider your options carefully because it's not fair to the puppy to be neglected in any way.

 

[5things]

Nobody knows the answer to your question better than you. If your daughter (or son) cannot participate in caring for the dog, then it is fully your choice as to whether to keep him or not. Caring for a puppy will take a significant chunk of time out of your day. I am retired and I watch my daughter's dogs (two adults and two puppies) while she works away from home. It's easy for me to take them out every hour or so, and to play with them a lot but it does take time and if you don't have the time, then there's your answer. Consider your options carefully because it's not fair to the puppy to be neglected in any way.

Thank you Larry - yes you are correct. And although the kids love him - he is adorable I feel as though there isn't as much enthusiasm as I had anticipated or as much work as they (my daughter especially) thought.

Like Joanne said, no harm in returning the pup to the shelter! If you aren't ready for the commitment!

Sometimes though, once you make the initial adjustment it does get way easier and more pleasant. It's really up to you though, it's a good lesson for all to have given it a shot!

Thank you for your reply. I have had a talk with my daughter this morning who was suggesting that it was up to me to decide which in my mind means she WANTS me to decide because the commitment is a lot right now.

 

[BigBlackDog]

My son, when he was 17, talked me into getting a puppy. He picked up poop exactly once, and walked the puppy once. Other than that it's all been me. So I know what that's like for sure... Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[5things]

My son, when he was 17, talked me into getting a puppy. He picked up poop exactly once, and walked the puppy once. Other than that it's all been me. So I know what that's like for sure... Good luck with whatever you decide!

Thank you for your response. If it was just that I could rally and have them pitch in but at this point it has developed into an anxiety issue for me. Not sure why but I can't shake waking up out of a dead sleep or having trouble falling asleep and over feeling jittery and uncomfortable. Such a horrible issue surrounding such a cute pup.