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Need help choosing a breed, Partner has conflicting views

1244 Views 5 Replies 2 Participants Last post by  bananabert032
I already have 2 dogs, so I am not currently looking for another one, but I would like to find breeds that more fit my lifestyle.
My husband is a cat person, and I am more of a dog person. He always would like at least one cat in the house, and I would like at least one dog. We're still in our first year of marriage, and he got an American Bulldog/mystery bull breed mix, nine month old unaltered male for me when I moved in. He was free from craigslist. It was a disaster to say the least, but it worked out and we kept him. In 4 months or so, we added another cat to our 2 cats, and then a 6 week old terrier mix puppy that is possibly a mix between rat terrier, dachshund, chihuahua and shih tzu, from a person from my husband's work with free puppies.
I know I haven't made the best choice in picking my dogs and I've learned so much about dog training and keeping cats and dogs to say the least, but I've begun to realize that these dog breeds are probably not the best for us at all. The frustrating thing is that our potential dog needs to fit with what my husband likes as well.

His requirements:
-guard/bark dog
-likes being on couch
-low prey drive
-no curls or longish hair
-self cleaning/clean habits
-listens well

My requirements:
-fluffy and soft
-long full tail
-dependent/loves their owner, aka me
-jowly or droopy lips (not that big of a deal if it doesn't have it)
-less inclined to pull
-eager to please
-low energy (I am not very good at running)
-short legs for not kicking me when we are on the couch (not that big of a deal if it doesn't have it)

A small-medium dog would probably be best for the both of us because our 80-100 pound dog is hard for me to pick up, and my husband doesn't like how much space he takes up on the couch. Please no hate and thank you for your consideration!

EDIT: Also, if it helps, I'm drawn to the Newfoundland and Caucasian Shepherd, and my husband is drawn to the Italian Greyhound and Pembroke Corgi.

EDIT: Also, before I was married, I was taking care of my parents' Brittany dog, and that's why I really enjoy a dog with soft hair that I can brush. It's also the reason why I'd like a dog that really loves me and doesn't pull so strongly because their dog liked to focus on squirrels and birds a lot and pull so hard, it hurt my entire body.
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Okay, I just saw @PacificBlue 's post on this and their post helped a lot.

I'm not too experienced of a dog owner, in my opinion. I've taught my two dogs to sit, lie down, shake, come, stay (at corners), look (at me) and look (at the road). The big one also can play dead, and I'm working on spin, jump, and speak. They both don't have very good house manners.

For size, to be more specific, 20 pounds to 100 pounds seems to be manageable. When my small dog was a baby, it was very difficult to keep track of her. My big dog is really hard to move when he doesn't want to, but I am much more concerned with a better fit personality wise. 100 pounds is the absolute limit though.

I honestly don't really care too much about life expectancy since I've never lived through a dog death before. I just want to find the right dog for us, but my husband does not want a Great Dane.

I don't really care about build all that much, as long as it will not pull and strain my entire body. I know looks can be deceiving, so it doesn't matter all that much.

Not having the funds or knowledge to groom a dog with continuously growing hair, those breeds wouldn't be a very good fit for me.

Health is not something that is on my mind about a dog, but similar to the hair thing, I don't have a lot of funds for excessive hospital fees, so a healthy breed would be best.

Low, low drive, as low as possible. There isn't a dog with true low drive that is absolutely low maintenance, so this isn't about being lazy here, it's about finding a dog that's manageable. That being said, I don't have really good endurance in jogging, so I would prefer a dog that does NOT need me to run with it.
Trainability is an absolute must. I consider myself a novice, and I get frustrated really easily. I have only trained my dogs to do a few things, and would like to learn how to teach them more things. A dog that refuses to do anything is the last thing I need.

I would really like a guard dog, and so does my husband. The idea is to eventually have them out in the yard and run at trespassers, because we have them a LOT. The trouble is, we have a wire fence, and our big dog has been able to squeeze him head through and break it to make a larger hole. Our yard is about 3/4 of an acre, though, so when we get a better fence, there will be some running room.

Thanks so much for looking, I hope this extra info helped!
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Wow. You two have very different expectations and requirements, and even within that some items will contradict themselves. Many independent breeds do have high prey drive. I also have a dog with high prey drive-who is great with cats and my bunny-so that's not a guarantee for them reacting well to your other dogs and cats. A dog that listens well is any dog that has been trained ever-or a dog that is prone to sensitivity (which also means is more likely to take a dog attack poorly, lash out in fear, etc). A dog that is an easy keeper for grooming is not going to be fluffy, and vice versa-and all of these breeds will shed if they don't continuously grow hair.

Your post sort of says there's a lot of expectations that need to be managed and researched in depth on your own-no set of breeds fits your criteria when there's so much contradicting information. I like to focus on energy first (low energy probably is best as you mentioned) and go from there and prioritize what things you will deal with for other traits. Why do the two of you actually want another dog? Companion to yourself, to your husband, to your other dogs? Will you be able to manage the needs of this many high energy dogs, separating them if there's fights, etc.

The guard dog scenario you're looking at is also a dangerous one-if your dog bites a trespasser, you can be fine and the dog euthanized in certain areas. Find a qualified trainer to go this route. MOST dogs barking is enough to deter thieves, and black dogs tend to have a lot of stigma so people stay away from them more, too. It's also not typically considered humane to leave a dog outdoors all day. If your fence is having issues with a bigger dog, a smaller dog will have no issues digging a hole through and escaping. I don't think you're looking for a guard dog.
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I see. Your response has been really revealing... Thanks for responding.
Just curious, how does your high prey drive breed dog get along with bunnies and cats? Just the individual dog?
I sort of feel like I just need to realize my husband is not that big of a fan of dogs at all, and just find a dog that is manageable for myself. I really wish he would be on board with all this dog stuff, like R+. It's frustrating, he doesn't understand that R+ is necessary.
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