[thisisjenna]

Hi everyone,

First post, I would greatly appreciate any tips you might have. Okay, so I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (Lily), I bought her with my boyfriend 3 years ago when we had our own place. Due to some pest problems in our building, we had to move back into my Mom's place. Since we moved back in, Lily has been completely ignoring us and is completely fixated on my Mom. She follows her everywhere, always wants in her room, she won't even sleep with us, she'd rather whine to get out of our room and sleep outside my Mom's door. This is a constant and daily occurrence. I feel like I've lost my dog! It's really upsetting.

My thoughts on why this is happening are that Lily has known my Mom since she was a pup and my Mom was/is VERY generous with treats (even though we tell her not to feed her because she has a weight problem, that is now MUCH worse). I've told my Mom to stop feeding her so much, and I believe that she has cut down significantly, but Lily is still attached to her by the hip. I'm not sure what to do! This is so heartbreaking, I feel disowned and I want my loving companion back! Is it possible that she has been conditioned by treats to follow/ desire my Mom's company? Or am I just second best...

I would love it if you could provide some tips on how to rectify this behavior. And like I said, she has a weight problem already so re-conditioning her with treats would not be very preferable, although I am willing to try anything at this point!

Thanks!

Jenna

 

[zoorun]

Have a serious talk with your mother about the treats first off. Many people think giving treats is showing love and they don't understand that treats should be "treats". All your dog is looking for is treats from your mother!


I would do lots of positive activities with her, like going to the park, just you and her and playing ball. You should be the one to feed her her meals and provide love at the right times. You could even use clicker training possibly.

As for treat conditioning, I don't really know because Remy doesn't really like treats anyways (she's all about "walk" or "truck") and we have never broken it with my older one (my father's dog). I'm sure you will get lots of good responses on here!

 

[Kat and Guinness]

She hasn't disowned you, she just knows where the treats are. I've had to battle with this situation too. When I come home from school with Guinness my grandparents love to shower Guinness with treats, which isn't good because she's already food crazed. She wants to be at my grandparents side with the chance that they will give her a treat. I sat down and talked to my grandparents that right now Guinness is in training so no side treats unless she does something to be rewarded. She should NOT be rewarded for begging at all. They didn't like it but eventually they came to terms that I was right.

Your dog wants those treats and is probably just following your mother around to make sure she doesn't miss a chance at them. I would talk to your mother about it, no more treats unless she does something to deserve it. Not so much to train but to make it not desirable to follow your mother around for treats.

You can find other activities as Zoorun mentioned so that she finds something else to distract her from the want of treats all the time.

Don't take it personally, food is pretty hard to compete with

 

[amaryllis]

That is exactly how I got kabota to follow me around- treats. I especially wanted him to follow me upstairs to build up muscle. Now if I put on foot on the first stair, he flies up the stairs.

Why don't you measure out her food and put it in a bowl and that's what she gets as treats in a day? That would solve the weight problem.
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[pkelley]

Yep, right on the head those posts! I am "grandma" to the catahoulas and my daughter was so worried that would happen with her dog/s too. But we worked it all out and she began spending a lot more play time with her. Addy would love to sleep with me too, but she now knows she has to be in the same bed as my daughter, lol. It is all food motivated behavior, you haven't lost her! Wouldn't you be glued to the person dropping 5 dollar bills to you every where you went with them?? For no reason?? Oh yeahhhhhh!

 

[Watry]

If it helps, I will tell you about my pit/basset mix when I first got her. She was 65 pounds with hip dysplasia and arthritis...she was 52 pounds when her original owner adopted her. She couldn't run, go up the stairs, and she hated walks because of how painful they were for her. Now she is back to her healthy weight and can run and play, and is spoiled with health, love, and belly rubs. Maybe you can tell your mom that your dog will enjoy life much more being at a healthy weight, and everyone will enjoy her presence for much longer since overweight dogs won't live as long as a dog at a healthy weight.

 

[Megs87]

Why don't you measure out her food and put it in a bowl and that's what she gets as treats in a day? That would solve the weight problem.
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Definitely try this if you can. I share your frustration, as my kiddos constantly get treats from my fiance's parents for begging, and sometimes my Lab will not even listen to my commands when they have treats or other food around. And sometimes, even though my little dog is immensely attached to me, he won't even give me attention or his normal kisses when he's in someone else's lap. I'll tell him "gimme kiss" and he'll turn and kiss the person who's lap he's in! I get so offended!

 

[zoorun]

I think in having Remy I have forgotten what begging is like. Remy is apparently too good for treats I don't know where she got it from, because my dad's dog, who she was with until 2 years old, is the king of begging! He also sneaks to my neighbors house when he is let out. It has offended me before that my guy will ditch me for treats.

 

[Kat and Guinness]

I think in having Remy I have forgotten what begging is like. Remy is apparently too good for treats I don't know where she got it from, because my dad's dog, who she was with until 2 years old, is the king of begging! He also sneaks to my neighbors house when he is let out. It has offended me before that my guy will ditch me for treats.

Consider yourself lucky! Haha. When I first got Guinness she thought jumping onto counter tops to bed was acceptable. I almost had a heart attack the first time she did it while I was cooking. She just sat there looking at me wagging.

 

[subado]

Time. Fun. Reprimand your mom, lol, to give NO treats. Take this back yourself. You can give things like green beans, which have very low caloric value, if you want to win the dogger back with some food reward. Spend the time and work the bond. Train the human and work the dog.

 

[LynneMarie]

Does she have any toys she really likes?
You could make a flirt pole (toy on a string) with that toy and drag it on the floor getting her to chase it. Maybe distract her from looking/waiting for momma treats..

 

[thisisjenna]

THANK YOU ALL! Your responses were very helpful. I'm going to work on spending lots of time with Lily and will definitely have a chat with my Mom.

You guys are great! Thanks again.

 

[Tess]

Well, on the bright side, your Mom likes your dog. Think how things would be if Mom did not want your dog in the house.

 

[Nylanat]

Welcome to my world. When we go to my mom's house, Nyla (and our last dog) forget us completely. My mom is the IT thing.

 

[pkelley]

HaHa, Our houlas come and crawl up on the couch and lean against me when they are "in trouble"....of course I coddle like crazy and ban my daughter and son in law from the room....my house...lol.
(I am not doing the dogs any harm or confusing them I might add! )