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Okay, so I don't know if I'd call it a straight up split personality. But that's what it feels like.

I have an eight month old neutered greyhound/lab cross who I've had since he was two months old. He's a very good dog; he was house trained early and learned to sit, shake and lie down early too. He likes strangers (although, he does jump up on them because he gets over excited) and he doesn't even mind car rides. He loves going on walks and chasing crows and he barks at threats until they're gone. He has constant access to water and is fed enough too, is played with and is walked daily and I treat him better than I treat myself, and though I barely have any money the majority of it is spent on him.

My dog likes to lick and play and he'll lick someone's face or hands for minutes at a time with such enthusiasm it's like we rolled around in his food. He chases his tail and he runs around and he plays with his toys ...

And then he starts jumping up on me and tries to bite me with absolutely no warning, when he was playing just a minute ago. And he viciously growls, wrinkles up his nose and continues jumping up, his jaws flailing as he tries to bite my hand and wrist and when he gets tired of that he goes for me feet and legs, growling and snapping the entire time.

Oh and sometimes when I bring him into my bedroom (which he's generally fine in, he sleeps on my bed) he'll start attacking me too. Whether I'm awake or asleep. He'll start snapping and growling and diving at me with an evil expression on his cute little face, looking like he wants to cause me actual harm.

I'm not afraid of him, I never cower away from him, I always try to discipline him vocally and by giving him a shove away from me when he dives at me, and holding him there until he calms down. But he doesn't calm down. He just keeps going until he gets free and can attack again.

This dog can go from laying down on the end of my bed, casually licking his own paw, to diving at me and snapping in an instant.

Oh, and he frequently steals things he's already been told and shown he's not allowed to steal and he runs around the round kitchen table with them, or up and down across the bed with them until I manage to bribe what he stole away from him. The stealing and destroying things has gotten to the point where I can't even let him sleep with me every night anymore - only on nights where he isn't attacking or trying to destroy my pillows.

He's been doing all of this both before and after getting neutered, by the way, if anyone tries to attribute this behavior to that. He's always been like this, but it just keeps getting worse instead of better. And no, I can't afford a professional dog trainer if anyone suggests that. Most weeks I can't even afford to feed myself, so that's a definite impossibility. All I seek is advice or if anyone has had similar experiences.

Come to think of it, I would call it a straight up split personality. I don't understand this dog.
 

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Sounds like he's just getting over excited and at eight months old, could well be heading towards adolescence, so is trying to push boundaries.

You aren't helping the situation.

You post "I always try to discipline him vocally and by giving him a shove away from me when he dives at me, and holding him there until he calms down"

So he comes at you and you talk to him or shout at him. You're joining in!

You shove him away, you're joining in!

You're holding him, you're joining in!

He won't calm down because... you're joining in!

Try stopping all play when this happens and walk away. Don't touch him, don't say anything, walk away. Or put him away.

For the stealing, at this stage, manage the situation. If he's taking/attacking things in your bedroom, don't let him in the bedroom; kitchen table, either clear the table or don't let him in the room.

In the meantime, teach him things like "stay" and "leave".

Neutering is likely to have no effect on these behaviours. If a dog doesn't know what you want before neutering, he's not going to suddenly know afterwards. It's not good vs evil, he's just not been taught.
 

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This is exactly the kind of behavior that my late Golden, Charlie had. It all was caused by one thing: too much energy. Your pup is 8 months, he's still very much a puppy and needs plenty of exercise. He's not getting enough, so he makes his own games to entertain himself. Charlie also did the snarling and snapping, but we soon realized he wasn't being visious at all. In fact, you could put your hand in his mouth while he was snarling and he would not bite you. He was just playing.

The solution to your problem is pretty simple, get him more exercise. Whatever amount of exercise you're giving him, double it. There's all kinds of ways to exercise him. You can take him on extra long walks, teach him to run alongside you while you ride a bike, if you have a lake nearby you can let him swim, (Since he's part lab there's a good chance he'll enjoy swimming) or take him to the park and play fetch.

Practicing the obedience Ptolemy82 suggested will be very useful in breaking him of his habits as well.
 

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Hi, for one no more bed sleeping until things improve a lot....you are not the boss if he has equal billing with you. He needs to have his own bed and for now should not be allowed in the bedroom. More exercise is fine but is there anything he would enjoy on his own that wouldn't require destroying? My dogs like to chase balls that roll around, like big plastic ones, sort of like soccer, sometimes an empty plastic jug. It is noisy and sometimes they can mark up the baseboards if bouncing the toy too hard. Maybe a basement or a play room, even a fenced in yard if you have that and if you don't have the time for additional walks. Have you also tried dog parks where he may learn to socialize?
 

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My newly adopted mastiff mix is just like this, and he's 2 1/2. He was returned to the shelter 3 times because of his crazy behavior! He's the perfect dog and then out of the blue, he'll start jumping and play biting and is very rough, and will bark at us. While he was really bad in the beginning, he started to all of a sudden get a lot better.

We always bring him to the dog parks, on walks, to family houses with other dogs for socialization, etc. We've found that he's just very energetic and is trying to play rough but doesn't know polite play.

What we've found has really helped us is training new tricks that keep him focused every day, dog park trips, quick time outs if he does the jumping and biting or us leaving the room, and toys to keep him busy (we like the toys with treats in them so he has to figure out how to get the treats out, and peanut butter in kong toys, etc.).

For the sleeping on the bed, I would try to kennel train for the nights, or put a bed next to yours on the floor, and train no bed.

So far, the above has helped, maybe it will for your dog as well? He is pretty young so he probably just has a lot of energy. It will probably take a long time since he's so young but lots of training and patience should help eventually!
 
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