[RainbowBridge]

My childhood dog is 2k miles away with my parents. She’s 16 years old and just got her teeth extracted a week ago. I just got off the phone with my mom this evening and apparently my dog has not eaten or drank, has had diarrhea and collapses after taking a few steps since MONDAY- 4 days ago! She also has not taken any of her heart failure medication or antibiotics.

My mother hasnt taken her to the vet and didn’t plan on it until I convinced her to do so tomorrow AM.

I’m enraged, frustrated and feel so guilty that she has been suffering for 4 effing days. My mom’s reason was “oh she’s just old and she’s mad we took her teeth”. The effing ignorance & defensiveness she had is just mind blowing. I’m crying I’m so angry.

 

[JoanneF]

Of course you are angry and upset, I would be too.

Looking for positives in this - she must have been in pretty good health for the vet to have agreed to do the dental work. So hopefully when she sees the vet tomorrow they can sort her out.

Do you have any other family you can talk to about it?

 

[RainbowBridge]

Thank you for the reminder about being positive. Unfortunately my dog has congestive heart failure, and if she hasn’t taken her Enalapril or Furesomide for 4 days, it’s likely her lungs are filled with water, plus she’s dehydrated from diarrhea and hasn’t had anything to drink. I hope the vet can save her but I have a feeling she’ll be dead by tomorrow or have to be put down

 

[JoanneF]

I'm sorry. Will you update us when you can? And if you want to come on here and vent, feel free to do it if that helps.

 

[RainbowBridge]

Yes, thank you for responding to my post. I’ll update tomorrow

 

[elvisdog]

Were you surprised that your mother would treat the dog this way?

 

[RainbowBridge]

Yes and no. She loves the dog but she is also an immigrant and believes that poor health is just “getting old”.

I think she doesn’t want to deal with the reality that the symptoms (collapsing, diarrhea, not eating) was a sign of something seriously wrong, so she went into denial and painted it as just “the dog being mad and old”. It wasn’t until I said “if I got my tooth pulled and a few days later I couldnt Walk without collapsing, drink, eat and had diarrhea - wouldn’t you take me to the doctor? It wasn’t until I said that did she understand

 

[Beta Man]

It sounds like euthanasia may be the right decision here. Is she waiting for the dog to doe at home vs paying the vet?

 

[RainbowBridge]

I told my mom to call the vet and bring her in to see if the vet says that she needs to be euthanized. And to do it, if that’s the case.

I don’t understand what her thinking was. I transfer money into her account monthly for all bills so it’s not related to costs. Her reasoning was that “she was busy” and all those symptoms were the “dog being mad we took her teeth and she’s just old”. I am so enraged and incredulous that she let her suffer for 4 days, rationalizing that it’s just normal. I don’t know if I will ever talk to my parents again after this

 

[Madra Anamchara]

I am so sorry this has happened! Since your mother only lives 2km away, maybe you can go get the dog and take her to the vet?

 

[elvisdog]

I think the OP means 2,000 miles (2k m) rather than 2 kilometers (2 km).

 

[Madra Anamchara]

I think the OP means 2,000 miles (2k m) rather than 2 kilometers (2 km).

Oh. Oops. thanks for the correction.

 

[RainbowBridge]

Update: my mom brought my dog to the vet.
Because my mom didn’t give my dog her congestive heart failure medicine the days after her surgery, my dogs heart and kidney started to shut down and her lungs filled with water. The fact that she had diarrhea for 4 days and no water made it much worst

Vet is seeing if they can stabilize her and will update me this afternoon.

 

[JoanneF]

Good luck.

 

[LMMB]

Update: my mom brought my dog to the vet.
Because my mom didn’t give my dog her congestive heart failure medicine the days after her surgery, my dogs heart and kidney started to shut down and her lungs filled with water. The fact that she had diarrhea for 4 days and no water made it much worst

Vet is seeing if they can stabilize her and will update me this afternoon.

Keeping everything crossed for you and your dog.

 

[RainbowBridge]

Update 2: my dog went home and will be back at the vet this morning for the vet to check on her kidney levels.

the more I read about dehydration and pain that my dog was experiencing, the more angry I get at my mom.
She suffered for 4 days. Her organs shut down. She had diarrhea. She couldn’t walk. And my mom is in denial that she is to blame. Would you salvage the relationship if she denied responsibility?

if my dog is euthanized , I’m worried she’ll die alone with strangers because my mom is too much of a coward to be there for her

 

[JoanneF]

I know you are really hurting right now, and understandably so.

But please don't do anything detrimental to your relationship with your mother right now. It is never a good idea to make any important decisions when you are emotional. Whether you can salvage your relationship depends on many, many things, but that's something you can choose to do or not do after the pain you are feeling right now has passed.

If your mother feels she can't be with your dog at the end, could the vet give your dog a sedative with your mother still there, so that your dog doesn't realise she has strangers around her when she passes?

 

[Madra Anamchara]

I am glad to hear your dog made it through. The situation is still not a good one for either you or the dog, though, clearly, and I am sorry to hear this. Is there anyone who lives there...an old friend or a family member, who could take charge of the dog? Anyone you could ask to check in on the dog every few days to see if she is OK?

Also.....and of course this may not be possible for you....but is there any way you can go get the dog or have someone bring her to you or part way to you? I know travel would not be the easiest thing for the dog, and probably not for you either, but ...

As for your mom and salvaging the relationship, this can only be your decision, and it will be influenced by what kind of relationship you have had with her all your life. If she is in denial, you won't be likely to get an apology.
Only you can know if it is worth salvaging or not. What is done is done and won't happen again. Your mom will always be your mom. I fully understand your fury. Maybe give it some time for that fury to dissipate a bit (if it does) before making any permanent decisions about that relationship.

 

[RainbowBridge]

Final update: my dog died this morning. My mom called me on FaceTime.

Does anyone know this answer—1) Why does her body look like that? The neck and leg is placed in a weird position. 2) I looked on Yelp and there aren’t any pet cremation services within an hours drive. I want to cremate her but where can we send her?

this was her when she was younger

 

[JoanneF]

I'm so sorry for your loss, she was a very pretty girl.

I'm sorry, I can't answer your questions but your vet can probably advise you on cremation.

Did you know you can have ashes made into gemstones, and other memorial jewellery?

Please do hang around and share stories when you feel able, it you think that might help.