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Hello!

It has always been my dream to adopt a golden retriever puppy. So I went out and finally adopted one! I've never owned any pets before and I'll admit maybe jumping into a puppy as a first pet was a risky idea. I made a mistake three years ago when I adopted a puppy and I wasn't ready. Within a week we had to give her back and it CRUSHED me!! I DO NOT want to make the same mistake with my golden. I am in love with my little Ben and I have had him for over a month now. Today he turns 3 months old. He is the love of my life BUT.... There are some issues.

I am so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. My days are filled with CONSTANT anxiety to the point where I've lost appetite and sleep worrying about my puppy. When he's out of the crate, I have to supervise him constantly because he doesn't go even 5 seconds without getting into something (chewing on furniture, scratching at things he shouldn't, going places he shouldn't, etc.). I know this is normal puppy behavior and I understand it'll take time to outgrow, especially while he's teething. However, it's selfishly caused me to crate him a LOT because I fear for him getting into something/getting hurt.

Also, I call the vet nearly every day freaking out about something or the other. They've probably memorized my number by now and know me by name whenever I call. My puppy is panting hard? Ahh gotta call the vet before he passes out! My puppy just started crying? Oh no call the vet, make sure he's okay!

I'm just constantly worried about him and it's taking a toll on my health. As a first time owner, is this normal? I love my puppy to pieces. He is my best friend and when he is calm and we spend time together, I feel like the happiest girl on earth.

Are there any tips you have to calm me down? Did anyone else feel this way? I feel it's unfair to the puppy if I'm just crating him so much because I'm anxious. How can I make life great for both him and me? I want to give him the very best and nothing less. He is literally the best. :) Yes, he's the pup in my profile picture. Here's a little pic of Ben and I:

 

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I think crate training him for extended period of time is not so good.

It's main purpose is to provide security, safety and protection for short term confinement. It should act as a natural den / personal space. Slowly crate train him from 10 min to 30 minutes. Before and after crate training, the pup should always be exercised. Crate area should be large enough for him to stretch out, run or play. Provide him with safe toys designed for chewing while he's teething (no small removable parts, your pup might accidentally swallow it).

As for the anxiety, I think it's normal from the start. I'm totally like you when I got my first puppy :). I let him sleep beside me on my bed even if he pees or poop as long as he's within my sight.

Ben is lucky to have you :). Your going to be a wonderful dog owner! This nice forum will surely help you along the way.
 

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I think puppies should be outside, in a crate (NOT large enough to play in, you want it small enough to capitalize on the fact that puppies will rarely soil where they sleep), or under your direct supervision. Your instincts are good, it only takes a few few seconds for a puppy to chew an electric cord, or chew up your stuff, or soil the floor.
I strongly disagree that they should be allowed to pee or poop wherever, because that teaches them that it is OK to do so, and housetraining difficulties are one of the main reasons puppies are rehomed.
YES it is overwhelming to be responsible for another being, especially a baby. It is a LOT of work. Anything worthwhile is a lot of work, however, and the time you invest now will pay off down the road in a confident, well trained dog.
Try for more outside time, and as the pup matures of course he will be able to 'hold it' longer and your crate training efforts will eventually give you a house trained, safe, happy dog.
He is adorable.
 

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I strongly disagree that they should be allowed to pee or poop wherever, because that teaches them that it is OK to do so,
Hey, thank you for the correction. I never meant that to be an advice. I used the wrong words. That was way back and I don't know what to do that time because of my anxiety level. Applied proper training of course to correct the behavior.

Thanks again. :)
 

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First of all, I do not think that feeling of being overwhelmed is that unusual with a new puppy in the house. Puppies and the dogs they grow into are indeed a huge responsibility. A month is not really a long time, and you both have to get used to each other, that just takes time. Also, I would contact a qualified trainer, and set up some time every day for training, but at this point I would think you need a good trainer to help establish the ground rules, and help you better understand Ben. Its a lot of work, but the rewards are huge, stay with it, and let us know how you and Ben are doing.
 

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lol welcome to the world of puppy ownership;). Mine just turned 15 months, I have a lab, and I went through the same things. First, stop feeling bad about crating. They need so much sleep, that it's not a bad thing. Second, stop calling the vet for everything, unless he has actually hurt himself or eaten something bad, leave it be. You are also deflecting that anxiety on the pup. Get a puppy schedule in place. Google it, I found a super easy schedule that way and we are just starting to somewhat break it in terms of crating. I promise that the schedule will eliminate those crazy worries. I almost gave up on mine three times, don't do it, it's worth the hard work. He is a baby, so it's definitely overwhelming. Lucy's schedule kinda looked like this, 5am,potty and breakfast then sleep, playtime for 20 minutes at 10am, nap, potty and lunch at 12, nap, playtime at 2 for 20 minutes, nap, Potty and dinner at 5pm, nap, playtime at 6, nap, potty at 9pm and playtime, sleep, potty at 12 or 1am, sleep till 5am. It's so crazy but you will have time for yourself mentally lol. Do not give into crying either, ignore him unless he hasn't peed during potty break. Covering the crate with a blanket was a blessing as it creates a den like sleep place. If you google playtime length for puppies it will tell you how long they need for playtime per months old. You will make it through, I promise lol


Hello!

It has always been my dream to adopt a golden retriever puppy. So I went out and finally adopted one! I've never owned any pets before and I'll admit maybe jumping into a puppy as a first pet was a risky idea. I made a mistake three years ago when I adopted a puppy and I wasn't ready. Within a week we had to give her back and it CRUSHED me!! I DO NOT want to make the same mistake with my golden. I am in love with my little Ben and I have had him for over a month now. Today he turns 3 months old. He is the love of my life BUT.... There are some issues.

I am so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. My days are filled with CONSTANT anxiety to the point where I've lost appetite and sleep worrying about my puppy. When he's out of the crate, I have to supervise him constantly because he doesn't go even 5 seconds without getting into something (chewing on furniture, scratching at things he shouldn't, going places he shouldn't, etc.). I know this is normal puppy behavior and I understand it'll take time to outgrow, especially while he's teething. However, it's selfishly caused me to crate him a LOT because I fear for him getting into something/getting hurt.

Also, I call the vet nearly every day freaking out about something or the other. They've probably memorized my number by now and know me by name whenever I call. My puppy is panting hard? Ahh gotta call the vet before he passes out! My puppy just started crying? Oh no call the vet, make sure he's okay!

I'm just constantly worried about him and it's taking a toll on my health. As a first time owner, is this normal? I love my puppy to pieces. He is my best friend and when he is calm and we spend time together, I feel like the happiest girl on earth.

Are there any tips you have to calm me down? Did anyone else feel this way? I feel it's unfair to the puppy if I'm just crating him so much because I'm anxious. How can I make life great for both him and me? I want to give him the very best and nothing less. He is literally the best. :) Yes, he's the pup in my profile picture. Here's a little pic of Ben and I:

 

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PS crate should be kept in a main living area so they are close to you, not outside. Especially when it comes to extreme weather like now with summer here (it's 32 degrees Celcius outside here) or winter which drops below -20 at times. You would have to provide a proper shelter for that kind of approach. I'm not for keeping dogs outside but that's my opinion.

Hello!

It has always been my dream to adopt a golden retriever puppy. So I went out and finally adopted one! I've never owned any pets before and I'll admit maybe jumping into a puppy as a first pet was a risky idea. I made a mistake three years ago when I adopted a puppy and I wasn't ready. Within a week we had to give her back and it CRUSHED me!! I DO NOT want to make the same mistake with my golden. I am in love with my little Ben and I have had him for over a month now. Today he turns 3 months old. He is the love of my life BUT.... There are some issues.

I am so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. My days are filled with CONSTANT anxiety to the point where I've lost appetite and sleep worrying about my puppy. When he's out of the crate, I have to supervise him constantly because he doesn't go even 5 seconds without getting into something (chewing on furniture, scratching at things he shouldn't, going places he shouldn't, etc.). I know this is normal puppy behavior and I understand it'll take time to outgrow, especially while he's teething. However, it's selfishly caused me to crate him a LOT because I fear for him getting into something/getting hurt.

Also, I call the vet nearly every day freaking out about something or the other. They've probably memorized my number by now and know me by name whenever I call. My puppy is panting hard? Ahh gotta call the vet before he passes out! My puppy just started crying? Oh no call the vet, make sure he's okay!

I'm just constantly worried about him and it's taking a toll on my health. As a first time owner, is this normal? I love my puppy to pieces. He is my best friend and when he is calm and we spend time together, I feel like the happiest girl on earth.

Are there any tips you have to calm me down? Did anyone else feel this way? I feel it's unfair to the puppy if I'm just crating him so much because I'm anxious. How can I make life great for both him and me? I want to give him the very best and nothing less. He is literally the best. :) Yes, he's the pup in my profile picture. Here's a little pic of Ben and I:

 

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I think puppies should be outside, in a crate.
Depends, here in Canada we have to provide a proper insulated shelter if we kept the dogs outside. A regular crate that she is talking about would expose the pup to extreme heat and cold risking it's life.
 

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Depends, here in Canada we have to provide a proper insulated shelter if we kept the dogs outside. A regular crate that she is talking about would expose the pup to extreme heat and cold risking it's life.
I believe this is a misunderstanding, or that I should have been clearer. What I meant was a crate indoors. I have never heard of crating a dog outdoors, which is probably why I did not specify.
 

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Hello!

It has always been my dream to adopt a golden retriever puppy. So I went out and finally adopted one! I've never owned any pets before and I'll admit maybe jumping into a puppy as a first pet was a risky idea. I made a mistake three years ago when I adopted a puppy and I wasn't ready. Within a week we had to give her back and it CRUSHED me!! I DO NOT want to make the same mistake with my golden. I am in love with my little Ben and I have had him for over a month now. Today he turns 3 months old. He is the love of my life BUT.... There are some issues.

I am so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. My days are filled with CONSTANT anxiety to the point where I've lost appetite and sleep worrying about my puppy. When he's out of the crate, I have to supervise him constantly because he doesn't go even 5 seconds without getting into something (chewing on furniture, scratching at things he shouldn't, going places he shouldn't, etc.). I know this is normal puppy behavior and I understand it'll take time to outgrow, especially while he's teething. However, it's selfishly caused me to crate him a LOT because I fear for him getting into something/getting hurt.

Also, I call the vet nearly every day freaking out about something or the other. They've probably memorized my number by now and know me by name whenever I call. My puppy is panting hard? Ahh gotta call the vet before he passes out! My puppy just started crying? Oh no call the vet, make sure he's okay!

I'm just constantly worried about him and it's taking a toll on my health. As a first time owner, is this normal? I love my puppy to pieces. He is my best friend and when he is calm and we spend time together, I feel like the happiest girl on earth.

Are there any tips you have to calm me down? Did anyone else feel this way? I feel it's unfair to the puppy if I'm just crating him so much because I'm anxious. How can I make life great for both him and me? I want to give him the very best and nothing less. He is literally the best. :) Yes, he's the pup in my profile picture. Here's a little pic of Ben and I:

Like others have said, don't give up, the rewards are huge. I can't even imagine life without Samantha, she is so integrated into our family.
 

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I believe this is a misunderstanding, or that I should have been clearer. What I meant was a crate indoors. I have never heard of crating a dog outdoors, which is probably why I did not specify.
Lol yes, I was wondering about that but I was thinking you meant kennel
 

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Aw congrats on becoming a new dog mom! and I use the word mom in it's truest form. Puppies are like toddlers, toddlers who ate an entire bag of candy that is lol.

It will all get better, what you're experiencing is very much akin to what a new human mom experience when they first bring their little bundle home. First you feel excited, then nervous, then anxious, then terrified. Trust me, everything will be fine. You will do fine and your puppy will be fine. Potty training comes eventually, you just need to be persistent. Destruction of property will happen, but you'll learn to keep things out of reach and eventually little Ben will learn that his toys are more fun anyway.

Now for advice for you, don't sweat the small stuff. Seriously, pretty soon little Ben will be Big Ben and you'll wish he was destroying your baseboards all the while looking at you with those big, cute eyes. Look at me, I survived the puppyhood of my Lab mix (who I'm pretty sure is half Kraken), and I'm going to do it all over again next year lol. Time flies. Be consistent, be firm, and be mom. The greatest advice I ever got was from my mom, who quickly noticed the parallel between new motherhood and new puppy motherhood. She said to me that you have to remember your human. You'll make mistakes. You'll do amazing. You have needs, like sleeping and eating. The puppy isn't going to die if you leave him for a few hours in a crate and go out for lunch.

Good luck! and please share more photos, we love photos here!
 

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Normal to feel overwhelmed

Not everyone gets overwhelmed much as you as a first timer but I think for some it's still normal to feel that way, tho you should really know how to control your feelings because like humans they also need the right balance. I think you try leashing him more rather than always on crate, and place your crate where you usually spend time for leisure to stay connected with him. And aside from teaching or training your Ben, I think you should teach yourself first too from vet on how to properly handle your Ben in times of random little stuff that he does that I think much better you learn your own without calling them every time.
 
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