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I regret adopting my dog

6K views 12 replies 11 participants last post by  blackdog 
#1 ·
I have wanted a dog for my entire life. Recently my husband and I went to our local humane society and fell in love with a Great Pyrenees mix. We thought we carefully thought through all of the factors about getting a dog and decided to go for it. She is amazing. She is gentle, sweet, super mellow, responsive, and good to our 2 cats. I couldn't imagine a better dog exists.

Unfortunately, now 2 days later I am completely overwhelmed with the idea of caring for this dog. We hope to have a baby in the next year and I'm not sure how to manage a 100 lb dog and a baby. We both work full time and we just started to realize just how much work a dog is and I'm terrified that because of her size, she could inadvertently hurt our future little one. The other thing is that I've started to feel allergic to her. She drools quite a bit and I break out in hives wherever her drools its on my skin for more than a minute. I've been coughing and wheezing.

I am head over heels in love with her but think adopting her was a huge mistake. Are we better off bringing her back knowing there was a huge list of other people who wanted her or trying to make it work?

I realize how horrible I sound. I really thought we had carefully decided to proceed with adopting her and I'm feeling really embarrassed, stupid, and irresponsible for being at this point. We are feeling like we need make a decision soon because we are falling more in love with her every minute. Help.
 
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#2 ·
I'm sorry to hear your adoption didn't turn out as you had planned. Seems like maybe you hadn't really gone through all the pros and cons of having a dog and whether or not it was going to really fit into your life now and in the future. It's always unfortunate for the dog to be adopted and then returned to the shelter as the whole experience can be pretty traumatic. If you're mind is set that you're not able or wanting to care for this dog, it's better for you not to have a dog. Dog's require tons of time and dedication, and they need a home and owners who are 110% willing to put in everything it takes to give them everything they need. I would call your humane society and ask them what they think the best thing is for you to do. It's possible they can find another family to adopt your dog (if there were other people interested), and you can host the dog at your home until they locate and secure another family, thus avoiding the stressful/traumatic process of having to be put back into a cage (and confusing). I would just say think this through, a lot. You want to be sure your'e doing the right thing and make sure that you don't make the same mistake ever again. While it's going to be a tough decision for you to make, ultimately the most important thing here is that the dog is placed in the best possible home. Do everything you can to make that happen, please.
 
#3 ·
Just take a deep breath :), you've only had her for two days and from what it sounds like this is your first dog? Getting a new dog is a big change and sometimes it takes a little while for things to settle down and you to totally get used to each other.
Bringing her back is something you really need to decide for yourself, and something we cant really choose for you since were second parties. I think though I would at least go to the doctors and check out the potential of being allergic to her or dogs in general. Pyr's are relatively heavy sheders and what she's mixed could be a heavy shedder too. In the mean time though make sure your brushing her a lot (outside) and vacuuming a lot to cut down on dander in the house.
As for eventually having a child next year, I think a lot of that has to do with training and management on your part.
Other then checking with the doctor about allergies I would try and give and week and give your self some time to see what its like living with her and if its a commitment and possibly future issues your willing to deal with and work on.
 
#4 ·
I agree with Maya. Your dog needs a more suitable family, and given that there was a lot of interest in her, it sounds like the humane society can quickly find her another home. Call them. It's better to transition her to a new home now than to have her bond with you and your husband. Then, wait until you have your children and your children are school-age before you think about having a dog. Also, research breeds that are more hypo-allergic.

I have been in your shoes. The first dog that I adopted was a Great Pyrenees mix. He also wasn't a good fit for me, and I rehomed home after two months. I then did considerably more research before I brought home Miles, the dog you see in my avatar.

What's most important here is what is best for the dog. As Maya said, do whatever you can to find her a better home with a family that can make a lifelong commitment to her. Your humane society is the place to start.


ETA: I would have agreed with Sabina about giving yourself and your dog more time to settle in, but I think the allergies are going to interfere too much.
 
#6 · (Edited)
It's difficult to predict the reality of owning a dog if you've never been the main caretaker of one, and there is no way to predict being suddenly allergic to dogs.

It gets easier once your schedule adjusts to cope with the new addition, what you are feeling is known as the puppy blues, similar to post partum depression.

It might be helpful to:
- Give yourselves and the pup time to settle in before making a decision.
- See a doctor and get tested for a dog saliva allergy.
- Investigate blogs and websites where people have large dogs and kids, I imagine there'd be a fair amount of management but it could be doable.
- Start a positive based training class, it's a great way to bond and may help you feel more comfortable managing with a 100 pound dog.

If you absolutely can't cope and are allergic rehoming is an option that can be the best decision for you and her.
 
#8 ·
Thank you

I really appreciate the thoughts and ideas you have shared. I am pretty positive it's her that I'm allergic to. My dad has horrible dog allergies and I'm experiencing the same symptoms, just to a lesser degree. I didn't think I was allergic because this has never happened when I spent time with friends dogs, but I'm assuming that's because i hadn't been exposed to one for such an extended period of time and never interacted with a drooly dog before.

We are going to give it a little bit of time to see how we all continue to adjust. I really think getting her was a poor choice, so now we are trying to figure out if we can manage this or if we should rehome her. She had been with a really awesome foster family who I am sure would take her back. She really is the perfect dog and I can't imagine why anybody (who is ready for a dog) wouldn't want her. I really want to do what is in her best interest. She's already learning the home, the name we have her, and some simple obedience. If we wait too long, I worry we will do more damage to her.
 
#9 ·
If you wind up doing so, I would recommend that you rehome her sooner rather than later to minimize the trauma of losing her "forever family" twice. What happens if the kid has allergies as well? I think the allergies are the only "unsolvable" issue here. The rest will totally improve given time and effort, but you need to consider whether you can live with the allergic reactions.
 
#10 ·
Considering all you've said, I do think it would probably be best to return her to the rescue. A lot of us (including myself) have had failed adoptions that made us feel guilty but ultimately it was the right choice. If the main issue was just you feeling overwhelmed with caring for your new dog, I would say wait it out more.

What I'm really concerned about that makes me say you should return her is the fact you say you're allergic. I used to have debilitating allergies as a child and it's just no way to live, especially since you would probably have to limit time you spend bonding with your dog. Also, since often people with allergies have parents with allergies (as you yourself said your father does) it's very possible your child(ren) will have allergies as well. Even if you can cope with the allergies, it's possible they could be more serious in a child.

So ultimately I think you just made a mistake. Maybe in a few years if you want to try adopting again that might have a better result.
 
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#11 ·
I mean for any other reason I would say you should fight through it and keep your dog. But if you think you're allergic and there's a worry with the baby, then perhaps do what you think is best for the dog. Is the answer giving her back? You would know best. But the decision needs to be made fast, and needs to be concrete. You're right that you'll get attached with each passing day, and the feeling is probably mutual from your dog's end. If deep down inside you really want to just give her back, then perhaps do so. But ask yourself if it is at all possible for you to give her a great life. If you don't think so, then there's your answer. Also, instead of giving her back to a shelter, is there a friend you can adopt her out to so she's not totally out of your life?

This has happened to me in the past. I adopted a puppy and gave her back within a week. Three years later (about a month ago), I adopted a puppy and now I feel a lot more prepared. Things are going better. Sometimes it's timing that's wrong. And sometimes the dog just doesn't fit your lifestyle. Don't feel bad if that's the case... But again, ask yourself seriously one more time if you think you can fight for your dog. Because I'm sure if somehow things work out with her, you will not regret it.
 
#12 ·
My daughter, who is dog allergic, is also dog saliva allergic. Any dog you would adopt would be bound to lick its family members. If a dog licks my daughter, her skin turns red and itches at the site of the lick. As soon as she washes the area, the itching stops.

If you do return this pup to the Rescue, consider (in future), getting a dog that doesn't drool. And you might need to go with a non/low shedding breed as well.
 
#13 ·
There are not enough homes for all abandoned dogs, no matter how good they are but at least this one is not somewhere at risk of being killed for overcrowding.

But if you believe you will have to return her in the end, it is best to do it soon because the older the dog gets the harder is going to be that an adoption comes up.

If you ever decide to adopt again it will be best to ask for fostering this way you do not commit for life and after you feel you can take care of him most times you can "upgrade" to full adoption.
 
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