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Hey,
I am 15 years old and around Christmas I finally convinced my parents to get a dog. We have never owned a dog before, and I was so excited and happy. I'd been wanting a dog for so many years and most of all, I wanted a dog to be an amazing companion and love me a lot. Well my parents really wanted to buy a puppy, but I was FIRM on adopting. They really did have their reasons to buy a pup so we could raise it from day one, but i just refused no matter what they said. I'm honestly regretting it now.

So we went to a couple adoption events, we did visit the animal shelter but every morning there would be a lineup of people outside the shelter wanting to adopt a dog so I knew those dogs always had a good chance of getting adopted. So I searched a couple animal rescues that are lesser known and visited their dogs. My dad and I did spot a very calm dog, who is a collie mix, 6 months, and she was very calm and just sat there. We visited her twice and decided I wanted to adopt her, because my mom was slightly afraid of dogs, she was so calm and well behaved. We visited her foster home as well, and she had such a good bond with her foster mom and the foster home also had a little dog, who she played a lot with. We took her for a long walk, asked a bunch of questions , booked training classes, and bought supplies. I really thought I knew what I was getting into.

The first day when her foster mom dropped her off at our house, she sat by the door crying and crying. I think she missed her foster mom so much, and I honestly just felt so guilty. Its been three weeks about since we have owned her now, and its nothing I've ever thought owning a dog would be. I thought a dog would be so loving and make you so happy and be happy around and just generally enjoying life, but our dog seems the opposite. She always looks sad and just kind of mopes around the house. She lays down and I always think that she is depressed? I just feel like I've torn her from a much happier environment. She used to have another dog to play with and a very loving foster mom. I do love her a lot but my parents are kind of mutual with her. I just regret everything, like I should have listened to my parents and bought a little non shedding poodle puppy that I could cuddle and raise from young. I'd always thought adopting would be such a good deed, like saving a dog's life from behind bars in a shelter. But I've adopted a dog that was in an amazing foster home into just a neutral environment in my house. I don't know, she just looks so sad and when I see that it makes me full of regret and guilt. I'd never thought getting a dog would be like this but I'm so lost and don't know what to do. Did I make the right decision? Whenever I see her I just feel so depressed and guilty and I really just don't know.:(
 

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It takes time sometimes for them to come around. If you show her love and affection, take her on walks and just be with her and do what you can to get her through this she will show you the love you have been dreaming of. Don't feel down, feel determined to get her feeling better and feel determined to show her who you are and that you are there for her.
 

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It sounds like you really love her and want to do what's best for her. Do you think it's possible to increase her happiness in your home in the long run?

The first few weeks are often stressful for a dog, rescue or otherwise. They're in a brand new situation with new people. Sometimes it's their first time away from other dogs. With baby puppies just separated from their litter, it's not unusual for them to cry for several days because they have literally never experienced separation before, and it's a brand new concept for them. A "non-shedding poodle puppy" would have tugged on your heartstrings too, albeit in a different way.

If you're willing to give it a few more weeks, you could try some fun, dog-friendly training games to help her adjust to her new environment, bond with you and show her how to be happy in your household. I love playing positive-reinforcement training games with my dogs, and you can see their eyes light up whenever we start a new training session -- it's useful and lots of fun for dogs and people if you're doing it right. In a situation like this, I like to start working on cute tricks first and teach proper obedience cues afterward so that everyone remembers that the whole point is to have fun. (And yes, it is both possible and recommended to teach obedience cues in a way that is fun.)

For what it's worth, I think you've done the right thing in adopting an older pup. You've saved a life! Separately from that, a tiny baby puppy is vastly more work than a six-month-old. If your parents are neutral about a dog and you're ambivalent, a baby puppy wouldn't be a good fit for the home -- they have to be walked every hour, fed several times a day, they bark and cry, they nip, they have accidents in the house. In short, they're stressful and draining and a huge responsibility. If everyone is on board with getting a dog and excited about having them around the house, you can get through all of that (although a few meltdowns is normal, as with all parents of newborns). But with two people feeling tepid about the idea of a dog and the third feeling overwhelmed, a baby puppy would be a huge amount of responsibility with little immediate pay-off.
 

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First of all--everything you are feeling is completely normal! Getting a new dog is very stressful, and they are never exactly what you expected. So there is an adjustment period--for you, and also for her. She's been through A LOT of change, so it is going to take her some time to settle in. It might take 6 weeks before you know her true personality, and months before everyone feels completely comfortable. I have confidence that you will form a strong bond with her in time.

What are you doing as far as playtime and exercise? Doing basic training, taking walks, fetch and other toys, that is the way you are going to bond with her. It is also very important for her physical and mental well-being to get exercise every day. There are lots of great games, such as nosework games, that you can play with her. This is a great website for information, so just look around and see what you can find.

Yes, you did the right thing! Adopting a dog is great! Puppies are a lot of work, VERY stressful (see the puppy forum!), and there is no guarantee as to how they will turn out. Foster homes are great for dogs, but they are just a foster home, not meant for a forever place. By adopting her, you may have made room for another dog that might not have had a chance otherwise. Be patient, learn everything you can, and the loving bond will come!
 

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I'm sorry tou're feeling this way. It may not seem like it, but if you do spend time with her and pet and love on her I promise she will move on from her foster mom and be completely content and beyond happy with you! She just is taking time to adjust. If you think about it from her perspective, she went from who knows where, to a shelter, then to a home where she got a lot of attention, maybe for the first time. And now she has changed homes once again...and she doesn't probably know what will happen just yet. Keep giving her love and treats(while starting on some training, which will help with the bond). She WILL come around. It will just take some time. Even a puppy can take some time to adjust. Some breeds are more shy than others, or the puppy may not have been socialized a ton. So don't regret not getting a puppy, because it could have still taken a bit to adjust to you also. And I think thats awesome that you adopted a dog! She needed a home and thats amazing of you to provide it. Just keep spending time with her. Dogs are very loving, people oriented animals, and she will be following you around in no time I'm sure. :)
 

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Hi there, firstly I'd like to say thank you for saving a life, I saved a dog at 7 months old and he wud not look at me or cuddle me he kept his distance , it was sad , I felt awful too but I showed him ALOT of love and played a lot with him but also giving him his own space in no time he was stuck to me like glue lol, me and gino are so close it's unbelievable lol and u and ur baby will be the same , just get her to trust u as no one know was she has been thro before u ,, your gonna have a soul mate in no time,,,, plenty of treats and play ,walks maybe let her sleep in ur bedroom at nite to be close to u and feel safe :D
 

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My dog seemed really sad for months after I got her. It's very hard on the dog to be bounced around. It takes time for them to bond with you, just like it would for you, if you were in that situation.

If you spend time with her, work on training using positive approaches, and make an effort to find some dog-friends for her, it's just a matter of time.

Like with any relationship, love and trust are built and earned. They aren't automatic. Dogs are feeling creatures and not "affection machines". So just put in the time and effort and try to be patient and understanding of what your dog has been through. It does take time but it happens!

I've had Layla nearly a year now and she's extremely bonded with us now. She is much happier and has become rooted in our lives. It did take time but it did happen.

Stick with her! Don't give up on her.
 

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I agree with what everyone is saying about training her. Training really does form a bond between you and the dog. Also, if she's lonely, could you take her to the pet store so that she can meet some other dogs?

I think you should really just try to study her and figure out what all of her favorite things are. What treats, chews, toys, activities does she like best? Then, when you give her that item or start to do her favorite activity, make a really big deal out of it. Make her feel like she is getting something really great. Maybe that will help to take her mind off of her former home, and gradually she'll start to see that you're a great friend.
 

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I agree with all the above. I got the crazy dog in my avatar (Tessa) at 9ish weeks; so she was brand new, out of the package, I guess. Sure she needed me to do things for her, but she didn't really bond with me until she was around 5 months (so that was 3 months of training and bonding). I had had a dog before, so I knew the connection wouldn't be right away, but now she's my 60 lb lap dog lol.

Just keep at, the bond will come and she will grow to love you. You just have to work at it, because sadly no dog comes pre-packaged to be that loveable cuddle bug.
 

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As some other people have suggested, training games may be a very utile tool. I suggest clicker training, and lots of playing as well.
Also, maybe if you take notes of what she does everyday, and for how long, you might see that every day she's crying less, being happier. Maybe it's only seconds, minutes. And it may go slowly. But seeing it makes it seem more real. If you only focus on the bad parts, you might not see the good ones :)
 

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Hey,
I am 15 years old and around Christmas I finally convinced my parents to get a dog. We have never owned a dog before, and I was so excited and happy. I'd been wanting a dog for so many years and most of all, I wanted a dog to be an amazing companion and love me a lot. Well my parents really wanted to buy a puppy, but I was FIRM on adopting. They really did have their reasons to buy a pup so we could raise it from day one, but i just refused no matter what they said. I'm honestly regretting it now.

So we went to a couple adoption events, we did visit the animal shelter but every morning there would be a lineup of people outside the shelter wanting to adopt a dog so I knew those dogs always had a good chance of getting adopted. So I searched a couple animal rescues that are lesser known and visited their dogs. My dad and I did spot a very calm dog, who is a collie mix, 6 months, and she was very calm and just sat there. We visited her twice and decided I wanted to adopt her, because my mom was slightly afraid of dogs, she was so calm and well behaved. We visited her foster home as well, and she had such a good bond with her foster mom and the foster home also had a little dog, who she played a lot with. We took her for a long walk, asked a bunch of questions , booked training classes, and bought supplies. I really thought I knew what I was getting into.

The first day when her foster mom dropped her off at our house, she sat by the door crying and crying. I think she missed her foster mom so much, and I honestly just felt so guilty. Its been three weeks about since we have owned her now, and its nothing I've ever thought owning a dog would be. I thought a dog would be so loving and make you so happy and be happy around and just generally enjoying life, but our dog seems the opposite. She always looks sad and just kind of mopes around the house. She lays down and I always think that she is depressed? I just feel like I've torn her from a much happier environment. She used to have another dog to play with and a very loving foster mom. I do love her a lot but my parents are kind of mutual with her. I just regret everything, like I should have listened to my parents and bought a little non shedding poodle puppy that I could cuddle and raise from young. I'd always thought adopting would be such a good deed, like saving a dog's life from behind bars in a shelter. But I've adopted a dog that was in an amazing foster home into just a neutral environment in my house. I don't know, she just looks so sad and when I see that it makes me full of regret and guilt. I'd never thought getting a dog would be like this but I'm so lost and don't know what to do. Did I make the right decision? Whenever I see her I just feel so depressed and guilty and I really just don't know.:(
Would love to know how ur getting on , hoping things are working out for you both :)
 

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How are you and how is your dog? I certainly hope that both of you have already bonded and are enjoying the company of each other.
 
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