[House atredis]

Aright so I had a white poodle since I was a kid, and we were best friends.

She got old and my mom was like we need to put her down and I was like no.

So one day, I walk her before I go to school, and I come back home to find out that they put her down behind my back while I was at school.

So at first I was like where's muffy I gotta walk her. Then mom was like shes dead. Then I was like bull**** where's muffy I gotta walk her. Then mom was like nah dude this is legit we actually put her down.

So I'm mad and I curse her out and I start crying and go to my room and cry the rest of the night. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye and it's not cause of natural causes, it's because my mom is an *******. If you REALLY wanted to put her down you could've waited till I came home. I didn't even get a phone call. I still guilt trip her for that cause that's just a nasty move. I just wanted to be with her when she died but my mom took that away from me. And it's not like she had a heart attack or something and it was a spur of the moment and they had to kill her. She was just chillin in the house and they took her to the shop to kill her cause she had a tumor. That was a few years ago and I still have days where I cry about it. It's still hitting me pretty bad.

So someone please tell me how do I deal with this. I'm still mad at my mom
And I'm still sad.

 

[Grabby]

That was a terrible way to treat you. I'm not sure how to advise you. People make decisions that hurt other people. Sometimes it's because they think they're making the right decision. Sometimes they're just bad decisions. Losing your dog without a chance to say goodbye is incredibly hard. I'm sorry that happened. Is there a way you can talk to a counselor or therapist to help you deal with what happened and how you feel?

 

[Rain]

I'm so sorry that that happened to you (((HUGS)))

The best advice that I can give is to forgive your mom. Not for her sake but for yours, holding on to pain and anger is very unhealthy and keeps you trapped in the past making it impossible to really go forward with your life. I know it's hard, I've had to do it myself. The person I asked to care for my dogs while I was out of town did not let me know that one had stopped eating, nor did he take her to the vet. By the time I got home it was to late to save her. I forgave him even though it was hard. It doesn't mean that I don't get upset when I think about that last week of my girls life, nor does it mean that I'd trust him to watch my pet fish much less my dog, but it means that I put it behind me and don't dwell on it but on the happy times I had with my girl.

 

[Dia]

My mom sold my horse when I was 15 or so, I got home one day and she was gone. Not as bad as being put down, but I still was very, very hurt. She said it was because we couldn't afford hay for the winter for all the animals, but she kept her horse - the one she didn't ride, and didn't want us kids to ride, and then got a colt off her.

That, among other things, created a distance between my mother and I that lasted for decades, but eventually I had to get over it because she was old and sick, and how can you be mad at someone who's old and sick?

What I realized too was that it wasn't doing me any good to hold on to my anger, my mother wasn't being hurt by it, only I was. I can't say we were ever really buddies again, but I was happier when I was able to visit her and enjoy her company because she was my mother, whatever her faults, rather than hating on her for things that happened so far in the past. In the end, I missed a lot of time with my mother that I'll never be able to make up for, since she's dead now.

So, I second Rain's advice - forgive. You'll be doing yourself a favor.

 

[amaryllis]

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. - Buddha