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I have a 7.5 yr old maltese/poodle.
I also have a 14.5 yr old cockapoo.

The dog's that peeing in the house is Linus, the maltipoo. Beginning of July, my boyfriend moved in. Linus was peeing in the house, now and then but not too frequently. Now, it's a daily occurrence. he doesn't seem to respond to punishment - we bring him to the spot, he gets upset, then we lock him outside the door. After peeing on our bed twice, we keep him in the kitchen when we're not home (I regret not crate training him). He knows what he is doing is wrong, and he's not responding to our punishment. What are we doing wrong?

We locked him outside for a few minutes as we were getting ready for our morning walk, he was happy and cheerful - totally ignoring the fact we kept him outside as "punishment".

We are thinking of keeping him in the kitchen when we're sleeping (he currently sleeps in our room, sometimes on the bed). We wish the 'old' Linus was back, and would rather not do this.

I don't want to hate my dog, but I'm starting to :(

Any advice is welcome!

Thanks.
 

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First, take him to a vet to rule out medical causes for his behavior.

Second, stop punishing him. It's counterproductive.

Third, clean the places where he's had accidents with an enzymatic cleaner.

Fourth, go back to house training 101 - House Training How Tos:

He doesn't know he's done wrong. He know that you become scary when there is urine on the floor and he's trying to be as appeasing and non-threatening as possible.
 

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Could be the boyfriend moving in. Dogs are sensitive to any change. I'd have Linus checked out by the vet to make sure nothing is amiss. Also, I know he's not that old, but dogs get dementia too. Our last dog "forgot" that she was housebroken. She was 14 though.

You say the he knows what he's doing is wrong. Just because Linus cowers or looks remorseful when you scold him doesn't mean he knows WHY you are scolding him. If you don't catch Linus in the act he probably doesn't realize why he's in trouble, just that you're mad.

After ruling out anything medical I'd start over with housetraining like he was a puppy. Take him out often and praise him when he goes outside. I mean throw a party and maybe even give him a treat. You can also tether him to you with a long leash when you are at home, that way you're more likely to catch him in the act. With our current dog it took me catching him a couple of times for him to get the idea, "Oh, they don't want me to do that in here".

Also, make sure to get some good enzamatic cleaner (I like Nature's Miracle Urine Destroyer, you can get it at Amazon or PetsMart ) to clean up any messes. You might also want to get a black light and look around with it to make sure you didn't miss any.

I know how frustrating it is. Before we knew what was wrong with Sheena, I was about to pull my hair out. Once we knew what was wrong it was heartbreaking, but not so frustrating.
 

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he doesn't seem to respond to punishment - we bring him to the spot, he gets upset, then we lock him outside the door. After peeing on our bed twice, we keep him in the kitchen when we're not home (I regret not crate training him). He knows what he is doing is wrong, and he's not responding to our punishment. What are we doing wrong?

We locked him outside for a few minutes as we were getting ready for our morning walk, he was happy and cheerful - totally ignoring the fact we kept him outside as "punishment".

We are thinking of keeping him in the kitchen when we're sleeping (he currently sleeps in our room, sometimes on the bed). We wish the 'old' Linus was back, and would rather not do this.
Thanks.
Peeing in the house likely started as stress behavior. If the boyfriend moving in also changed your schedule, it could have been that as well. There is also a chance it was marking behavior covering up a new scent in the house, but if he's never done it before I'd be more inclined to think stress.

Taking him to a vet is a good idea to rule out possible medical conditions- at almost 8, he is now a senior, and in a dog of this age issues holding their pee/poop are often indicative of medical issues (and very common, especially in this breed/mix).

On the subject of "punishing" him for going to the bathroom inside...

Dogs do not remember things in the same way we do- they also learn through association, and change their behavior based off the consequences of that behavior, but when you're trying to form a negative association through ANY kind of punishment, you must be punishing during or within less than a second of that behavior in order for there to be the highest chance that they will associate that punishment with that behavior. They may still not form the association you want, but they definitely will not form that association if the punishment happens two seconds, a minute, or an hour later.

For house training issues, punishment is completely useless and usually counter productive.

What is happening right now is you are showing the dog an accident, acting upset, and he is seeing that and throwing off appeasement signals saying "please don't be upset, how can I make you stop". It is not because he knows he has done something wrong by peeing/pooping on the floor, it is because he sees you are acting weird. Then, you lock him outside the door. So, in the dog's mind, it is see a pee/poo inside, the people are acting really weird, I try to appease them through lip licking, avoiding eye contact, lifing a paw, perhaps offering tricks I know if I am that kind of dog, then they put me outside where I sniff, look around, listen to the birds in the trees, maybe find a stick to chew on, and then they let me back inside so I can be with them.

There is absolutely no way to form an association between an accident that happened in the past (even if is was only one or two seconds in the past) and the dog having done something wrong. If you can catch him in the act, you can try to interrupt him with some kind of sharp noise and then immediately pick him up and bring him outside.

What I prefer and find more useful (I know very few dogs I can successfully interrupt mid-stream/mid-poop and get outside quick enough) is to instead cement in the animal's mind that going OUTSIDE is really, really good. Make a schedule that you're taking them out during and get really excited when they go outside. If they are loose inside, they should not be able to get out of your sight and go somewhere hidden. Keep track of when and how much they drink, don't free feed and keep track of when and how much they eat. Figure out how soon after both they usually have to go and make sure you get them out within that window.

For when you have to leave, I would highly suggest using an X-Pen. I have a dog that cannot be crated because during her time with her breeder she seems to have somehow learned that going in the crate is not just OK but actually where she is supposed to go- she will pee or poop in there and then have to sit in it, even when it is the right size. In order to keep her somewhat contained, I keep her in an X-pen with her bed and some (washable) toys on a surface that is easily cleaned. Also, when he pees or poops, make sure you clean it with an enzyme cleaner like Nature's Miracle.
 
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