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so in late september/early october, after months of searching, i adopted a border collie puppy to be a candidate for service work. i was told she enjoyed cuddling and would very much have the drive / desire to work.

she is now about eleven months old and has been with me for months. when i first adopted her, i had a week of what i thought was PPD but even though that has subsided, i still find myself crying myself to sleep over this dog.

my problem? she's a great dog. she has a lot of border collie energy (which was probably my first mistake), she's smart and learns quickly even if she doesn't always listen in her adolescence, she's cute and playful, and i'm sure anyone would love having her (really her only flaw is that she wasn't properly socialized and dislikes strangers touching her). but here i am, at my wits end.

her cuddling is selective, she seems to only barely like my presence, if i try to physically engage with her she seems uninterested or at the worst disgusted. yet she adores my mother. she'll follow her around, get super excited when seeing her, cuddle with her on the couch/bed, etcetera. i even listened to my mother talk to my sibling about how ella loves her and seems in-tune with her emotions. meanwhile, if i so much as sit next to her on the ground, she'll get up and walk away.

i do literally everything with this dog: we go on walks, play, i feed her, have daily training sessions. yet it honestly feels like our relationship is going nowhere. and i don't know what to do anymore. everyday i feel like i like her less and less.

and i don't know what i should do. is this just post puppy depression? will it get better? i would feel literally horrible bringing her back even though her foster said if anything went wrong, they would take her back guaranteed.

are we just not compatible? i don't know if i can handle pouring my heart and soul and resources into training her to do service work that she'll never be able to do because we're just not meant to be partners

i honestly don't know
 

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so in late september/early october, after months of searching, i adopted a border collie puppy to be a candidate for service work. i was told she enjoyed cuddling and would very much have the drive / desire to work.

she is now about eleven months old and has been with me for months. when i first adopted her, i had a week of what i thought was PPD but even though that has subsided, i still find myself crying myself to sleep over this dog.

my problem? she's a great dog. she has a lot of border collie energy (which was probably my first mistake), she's smart and learns quickly even if she doesn't always listen in her adolescence, she's cute and playful, and i'm sure anyone would love having her (really her only flaw is that she wasn't properly socialized and dislikes strangers touching her). but here i am, at my wits end.

her cuddling is selective, she seems to only barely like my presence, if i try to physically engage with her she seems uninterested or at the worst disgusted. yet she adores my mother. she'll follow her around, get super excited when seeing her, cuddle with her on the couch/bed, etcetera. i even listened to my mother talk to my sibling about how ella loves her and seems in-tune with her emotions. meanwhile, if i so much as sit next to her on the ground, she'll get up and walk away.

i do literally everything with this dog: we go on walks, play, i feed her, have daily training sessions. yet it honestly feels like our relationship is going nowhere. and i don't know what to do anymore. everyday i feel like i like her less and less.

and i don't know what i should do. is this just post puppy depression? will it get better? i would feel literally horrible bringing her back even though her foster said if anything went wrong, they would take her back guaranteed.

are we just not compatible? i don't know if i can handle pouring my heart and soul and resources into training her to do service work that she'll never be able to do because we're just not meant to be partners

i honestly don't know
Dogs often bond with one person. How old are you? Why is your mom watching your dog so much?

I don't think this is "post puppy depression" so much as this is the dog bonding to another person.

I'm against dogs on the bed/couch until fully trained for this reason. Your dog thinks that it has won over your mom because your mom has given signs of peer behavior.

It seems to me that your mom is undermining your training and you need to work that out with her. Taking the dog away at this point would only be an act of vengeance towards your mom.
 

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From what I understand of BCs is that they are a fairly sensitive breed. This might be totally off base but I would guess what might be happening is that the dog is getting an anxious vibe from you, and your mom is projecting a cool, laidback vibe so the dog feels more relaxed in her presence. So the more that you try to force a relationship the more the dog is put on edge. When you're not training her I would keep some treats on hand and let her come to you. Whenever she approaches you on her own give her a treat. Let her make the choice to interact with you and try not to take it personally when she doesn't. This will probably take a fair amount of time to build up her confidence so that she knows she can relax around you. Also remember dogs are weirdos and sometimes do things for a reason that only they understand.
 

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Dogs often bond with one person. How old are you? Why is your mom watching your dog so much?

I don't think this is "post puppy depression" so much as this is the dog bonding to another person.

I'm against dogs on the bed/couch until fully trained for this reason. Your dog thinks that it has won over your mom because your mom has given signs of peer behavior.

It seems to me that your mom is undermining your training and you need to work that out with her. Taking the dog away at this point would only be an act of vengeance towards your mom.
I'm in college. Ella and I came home for winter break; I am with her 24/7 except for when I'm attending class. I'm responsible for every aspect of Ella's care and training. I limit her interaction with other members of my household (which normally isn't a problem since I live two hours away, except I've been on break and therefore home for the holidays). I feel like a monster telling Ella she can't be all over my mother as she seems to really like her. Which ironically enough, my mother can't care less about either of my two dogs.

I'm continuing her training and waiting to see if this improves with time/past her adolescent stage.

Thanks for your responses!
 
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