Hi all. I'm new to the forum, and I came here to hopefully get some advice about a situation with my girlfriend's dog that is causing both of us a lot of stress.
In short, her dog is absolutely terrified of me in particular, but she's also not comfortable anywhere, really. When I'm around, she (the dog) will stay behind my girlfriend, around her feet, always keeping my girlfriend between her and I. This gets to the point where she will push between the cabinets and my girlfriend's legs, or jump up on her, or scramble to be near her feet. Obviously this is annoying to my girlfriend, and has, on several occasions caused her to trip and fall.
The dog, while she's out, will jump at any small noise. One memorable time, she was out and a car started outside, and she jumped so much that she ran into (inside) of the open fridge, hit a bag of lettuce, had the bag fall on her, and got scared again and ran away.
However, if it were only this behavior, we could manage it better. But it's not. When she's scared (particularly of me, but of other things occasionally, too) she will poop. Not once. Not in a minute when we get her outside. Immediately. The most common way this happens is when she sees me, she will growl, back away, if she's in the cage, she'll put her butt down and then about 75% of the time she will poop, if she's out of the cage, she will run away from me, pooping every couple of feet. There have been several other extreme events, such as, one time I had to go to my girlfriend's place to pick up something she desperately needed for work, and the dog was out of the cage. When I opened the door, giving the dog about 30 seconds of seeing me outside and giving her the opportunity to walk away, she ran, pooping, of course, upstairs. I, unfortunately, had to follow, which I did slowly, and calling her name sweetly, and when I got upstairs, the dog was having diarrhea on my girlfriend's pillow. Then she peed on the cat. Then she sat in all of it. Another time my girlfriend got home, and all the curtains were pulled down, covered in poop, and on the couch it looked like an explosion had happened (like that video of the rhino pooping in the zoo, with it flying everywhere). We haven't had an event like that in a while, but, still.
The dog is the reason I can't live with my girlfriend. Which is really, really frustrating. So, we've taken steps to try and remedy the problem.
First, we never force the issue. When I'm there, I'll love on her cats, and then, from a distance, call the dog's name and give her the opportunity to come up and sniff if she wants. Otherwise, I never force grab her, or "hug" her to show I'm an okay person. I keep my distance.
Second, she has a cage in the common area. When we're moving around, she stays in there, because my movement freaks her out. She stays in visual range of me, hopefully to get her more comfortable with my presence. Outside of that, she has "places" around the house. She is very obedient of my girlfriend, and so when we're there, and we're watching tv or something, the dog comes out and is told to stay in one of those places, again, within range of me, but far enough away to not force the issue. We've been doing this for months.
We have another dog, who is a shepherd mix, and bigger than the small terrier nightmare, and when she's there, the problem dog is more likely to be *slightly* more comfortable. The only time she's voluntarily come up to me was when I had the other dog there, playing. But that didn't last long. The one constant is that when I'm there, her eyes are on me, and it's like she can't function. We've watched her carefully, and it's like she doesn't even notice that she poops when I'm around. She'll step in it, sit in it, like it's nothing.
The other constant is that any progress we make, (progress here being defined as me getting up and walking to the bathroom while she's out and not having her poop) is 100% erased the next time I come over. She cannot function with me there.
Actually, the reason for making this post today is that I had to go to my girlfriend's place this morning for a normal thing (I had to pick up something for my girlfriend), and the dog, who was in the cage, made a mess all over herself, even when I ignored her, walked past her, did not acknowledge her. I came back to her sitting in a pile of watery muck. I apologize for all the gross images, but I really don't know how else to describe the horror that we've been living with.
Here's a short bit of background for the dog. My girlfriend taught in Korea for two years, and, while there, adopted a terrier mix and that dog's puppy. The terrier mix died, and the puppy is my girlfriend's dog. She lived there, being around people and other dogs for nearly a year, and then they moved back to the states. Once back, my girlfriend moved in with her grandfather, in a remote part of the state, and the dog spent a lot of time around her grandfather, and three cats, in the country. She had freedom to move, but she did spend a lot of time inside, and did not take kindly to my girlfriend's grandfather. The dog has never taken kindly to men, especially men who look like me, my girlfriend noted, and so we have wondered if she was abused by my girlfriend's ex while in Korea.
Ultimately, we are exasperated, trying to find a solution, and don't have enough money to get a behaviorist (though I'm unconvinced a behaviorist would actually be able to help). So, any tips you have that we haven't tried would be helpful. We are both very much dog people, and, while cleaning up all the messes is frustrating, and not being able to live together is even more frustrating, we really do want to see the dog get some relief, because she's just obviously miserable all the time. And we would avoid the stress and guilt of re-homing her, because I know my girlfriend would feel as though she's failed the dog. But she's so nervous, twitchy, so afraid to be around people or other dogs that I'm honestly not sure how much more of this we can all take.
In short, her dog is absolutely terrified of me in particular, but she's also not comfortable anywhere, really. When I'm around, she (the dog) will stay behind my girlfriend, around her feet, always keeping my girlfriend between her and I. This gets to the point where she will push between the cabinets and my girlfriend's legs, or jump up on her, or scramble to be near her feet. Obviously this is annoying to my girlfriend, and has, on several occasions caused her to trip and fall.
The dog, while she's out, will jump at any small noise. One memorable time, she was out and a car started outside, and she jumped so much that she ran into (inside) of the open fridge, hit a bag of lettuce, had the bag fall on her, and got scared again and ran away.
However, if it were only this behavior, we could manage it better. But it's not. When she's scared (particularly of me, but of other things occasionally, too) she will poop. Not once. Not in a minute when we get her outside. Immediately. The most common way this happens is when she sees me, she will growl, back away, if she's in the cage, she'll put her butt down and then about 75% of the time she will poop, if she's out of the cage, she will run away from me, pooping every couple of feet. There have been several other extreme events, such as, one time I had to go to my girlfriend's place to pick up something she desperately needed for work, and the dog was out of the cage. When I opened the door, giving the dog about 30 seconds of seeing me outside and giving her the opportunity to walk away, she ran, pooping, of course, upstairs. I, unfortunately, had to follow, which I did slowly, and calling her name sweetly, and when I got upstairs, the dog was having diarrhea on my girlfriend's pillow. Then she peed on the cat. Then she sat in all of it. Another time my girlfriend got home, and all the curtains were pulled down, covered in poop, and on the couch it looked like an explosion had happened (like that video of the rhino pooping in the zoo, with it flying everywhere). We haven't had an event like that in a while, but, still.
The dog is the reason I can't live with my girlfriend. Which is really, really frustrating. So, we've taken steps to try and remedy the problem.
First, we never force the issue. When I'm there, I'll love on her cats, and then, from a distance, call the dog's name and give her the opportunity to come up and sniff if she wants. Otherwise, I never force grab her, or "hug" her to show I'm an okay person. I keep my distance.
Second, she has a cage in the common area. When we're moving around, she stays in there, because my movement freaks her out. She stays in visual range of me, hopefully to get her more comfortable with my presence. Outside of that, she has "places" around the house. She is very obedient of my girlfriend, and so when we're there, and we're watching tv or something, the dog comes out and is told to stay in one of those places, again, within range of me, but far enough away to not force the issue. We've been doing this for months.
We have another dog, who is a shepherd mix, and bigger than the small terrier nightmare, and when she's there, the problem dog is more likely to be *slightly* more comfortable. The only time she's voluntarily come up to me was when I had the other dog there, playing. But that didn't last long. The one constant is that when I'm there, her eyes are on me, and it's like she can't function. We've watched her carefully, and it's like she doesn't even notice that she poops when I'm around. She'll step in it, sit in it, like it's nothing.
The other constant is that any progress we make, (progress here being defined as me getting up and walking to the bathroom while she's out and not having her poop) is 100% erased the next time I come over. She cannot function with me there.
Actually, the reason for making this post today is that I had to go to my girlfriend's place this morning for a normal thing (I had to pick up something for my girlfriend), and the dog, who was in the cage, made a mess all over herself, even when I ignored her, walked past her, did not acknowledge her. I came back to her sitting in a pile of watery muck. I apologize for all the gross images, but I really don't know how else to describe the horror that we've been living with.
Here's a short bit of background for the dog. My girlfriend taught in Korea for two years, and, while there, adopted a terrier mix and that dog's puppy. The terrier mix died, and the puppy is my girlfriend's dog. She lived there, being around people and other dogs for nearly a year, and then they moved back to the states. Once back, my girlfriend moved in with her grandfather, in a remote part of the state, and the dog spent a lot of time around her grandfather, and three cats, in the country. She had freedom to move, but she did spend a lot of time inside, and did not take kindly to my girlfriend's grandfather. The dog has never taken kindly to men, especially men who look like me, my girlfriend noted, and so we have wondered if she was abused by my girlfriend's ex while in Korea.
Ultimately, we are exasperated, trying to find a solution, and don't have enough money to get a behaviorist (though I'm unconvinced a behaviorist would actually be able to help). So, any tips you have that we haven't tried would be helpful. We are both very much dog people, and, while cleaning up all the messes is frustrating, and not being able to live together is even more frustrating, we really do want to see the dog get some relief, because she's just obviously miserable all the time. And we would avoid the stress and guilt of re-homing her, because I know my girlfriend would feel as though she's failed the dog. But she's so nervous, twitchy, so afraid to be around people or other dogs that I'm honestly not sure how much more of this we can all take.
