[andystocker]

Hi guys,

New to this forum. I am from Evansville, Indiana and my family lives here. My wife is from Odessa Texas and has visited there with the kids the last 4 summers a month each in the summer. We got a golden retriever puppy, last July from a breeder. She was amazing. We loved her so much. Unfortunately, she got out of my brother-in-laws fenced in yard (we know, my wife is beating herself up something terrible for not putting her inside, before they left for a party)...got lost, actually my wife found out my homeaway chip people called and someone had found her. Unfortunately when she called right back, the dog had already escaped, the kids left the door open too long (not blaming). She was then on the loose from 1am July 4th until a kind stranger called to inform my sister in law that she was found on the side of the road, looked like she died instantly
Needless to say, we are all heartbroken. we have 16 year old boy, 14y girl, and 12 y boy. Molly really helped Dana, our middle child, with battling depression (one of the things that has helped). My wife is worried about her tailspinning. I know that those kind of feelings can't be fixed easily, and maybe sharing grief with the rest of the family is better than sharing depression alone. idk...i've battled it 20 years and im not going to pretend i know how she feels, ANYWAY.....(as you can tell Im a mess)
We were going to get Molly another puppy from the same mom and dad. The lady does one breeding a year. We decided not to last month. Now we are seriously considering it. I definitely want another FULL sibling WHEN we get one, there is just a voice in my head saying "you are trying to replace Molly!"...can anyone relate? There is another voice (i have a lot of voices lol) saying "what if this puppy only lives a year too, can you handle it?"
I don't know how to answer those questions. So I'm asking for suggestions/advice from you guys. Our gut tells us that we are perfectly fine getting a new puppy. It will still hurt, and we won't be able to get her for 3-4 weeks anyway. It is a wonderful breeder 100 miles away that cried with me on the phone, and has sent texts and is grieving with us.
Honestly, I just want Molly back...but I know everybody wants their babies back. I had to put my 10 year old cat that lived me with while I was alone (divorced for 5 years) and was by best friend. He had cancer, and that was hard....This....this is so much more. Too soon, too tragic...and I always thought I was a cat person but Im becoming a dog person now...plus, im grieving with and for the rest of my family. Seems like I'm grieving more for her than I am when my dad died when I was 17 (23 years ago)....surreal

Thanks and love to all that made it thru this rambling,

Andy Stocker

 

[Lucillle]

You can never replace your dog that died (my condolences). But you can give a good home to a new dog.
You have a wife and three children. You love them even though I'm sure you realize that there are no guarantees that they will be with you forever; and you should approach a new dog the same way. I know you are going to do your best, and care for the new pup, and I'm sure you and your family will grow to love it as the individual it is, and not as a replacement.

 

[andystocker]

You can never replace your dog that died (my condolences). But you can give a good home to a new dog.
You have a wife and three children. You love them even though I'm sure you realize that there are no guarantees that they will be with you forever; and you should approach a new dog the same way. I know you are going to do your best, and care for the new pup, and I'm sure you and your family will grow to love it as the individual it is, and not as a replacement.

Thank you. I have been looking at shelters around our area online, and other rescue places. We aren't against getting one, our 4 cats are all rescues...but when we decided last year to get a dog we wanted a full breed puppy and we absolutely fell in love with our golden retriever, so we want to stay with that. I know they are so popular, so thats not easily going to happen. There was what appeared to be a 75% golden 8 month mix at our humane society but it disappeared in a day, which I'm glad it found a home.
Like I said we were wanting to get Molly another sister or brother, now we are contemplating get 2 puppies to start. I work a rotating shift and my wife is a nurse doing something similar, which is both good and bad at times. Molly was never alone for more than 7-8 hours (rarely) and that was after she was 5-6 months. My wife was always concerned Molly needed a playmate, we socialized her a tad later (with other dogs) than we would have liked but she adapted well in Texas with her "cousin dogs".
I'm still in a ton of pain (im at work now 3rd shift) but now getting a little obsessed about the thought of getting a new puppy....thanks for your kind words and reassurance.

 

[Lucillle]

Andy,
Please do a search on this forum for discussions of raising two puppies at one time. It is really, really difficult.

 

[Embersmom]

I recently lost my dog in February and I find myself looking at dogs online for adoption and when I see one I think I would like to give a home to and I sit and think about it, I always start to tear up and just think to myself I just want Zeus back and there is no way a new dog could even compare. Then I don't end up getting a dog. I think that is my minds way of telling me I am not ready yet.

If I was you I know I would not be ready 2 days after my dog died, but I am sort of jealous that you are. I think I would just talk to the breeder for now because it will give you about another month to grieve and make sure you are ready for another one. I would also sit down and talk to your kids, when I was in high school my family dog got hit by a car and about a week later my dad came home with two new dogs that his friend found abandoned in the desert and I resented them.

I thought how dare my dad replace my Maggie so fast with these new dogs, even though they were in desperate need of a home. I honestly did not like them for a few months because I compared everything that they did to Maggie and it caused a lot of tension between my sisters and I and my dad. Eventually I learned to love them, but looking back I still remember how angry I was.

Also agreeing with Lucille, I would not have two puppies at the same time. If you do that it makes it exponentially harder, not to mention the dogs could end up bonding with each other and not the human members of the family. You should look up littermate syndrome. If you really want two dogs at the same time, look at the animal shelter and see if there is an older well behaved dog in need of the home that could help you raise the puppy and teach it good manners.

Good luck in your doggie adventures! I am so sorry for your family and you loss, it is never easy, especially when unexpected and in a tragic way.

 

[andystocker]

Thank you all for your comments! Embersmom, I sent you a private message...We are for sure not getting 2. Just one puppy for now. And from talking to our friends, there seems to be either ones that "can and did" and those that "just can't and still haven't" when it comes to bringing a new baby home. I can understand how people just can't do it, but we don't seem to be like that. I know there are going to be parts of the process that I'm sure will feel like ripping a bandage off.