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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We adopted a very sweet natured dog from a friend who was fostering him just this past weekend. So far things seem to be going fine with him. He only goes after some of her toys, he is good with her, she is good with him. It is not them that I have a problem with. It is me. For the past 2 years I have devoted 100% of my time to her (aside from minimal effort into my crap job) and now I have to focus on him to and so I keep crying because I feel like I did something wrong. She cannot sit and play like she used to with me because I have to keep the dog away or she cannot sit and relax and eat her cheerios and watch Sofia because the dog is trying to get at the Cheerios. I am missing our lazy cuddle times and our coloring times and just our mom/ daughter times. The logical side of me says this is good for both her and me because only children can get a bit self absorbed by helicopter parents always catering to their every whim (aka me) but the emotional side of me is so sad that I changed a dynamic that I truly loved. I need to somehow overcome this feeling for the well being of everyone involved. My friend (not the one who fostered the dog) who runs shelters said that the oh shit what did I just do feeling is normal and it will change....my neighbors mom said that it is healthy for me to not focus on my daughter 24/7....I know they are right but it would be helpful to know if anyone else had these feelings?

Sorry for the long post
 

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I got a dog when i was two years old we were best friends and don't worry im still very close to my mother :)

have you considered babygates? so you can take a break from the constant supervision (which is very good and important with kids and dogs) and she can eat her cheerios in peace :)
 

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Aaaai :(

Your daughter at two years old is more than capable of understanding that mommy's attention needs to be else where at times. At two she should be becoming more independent and capable of doing little things. So why don't you involve her in the care of your new dog?

Your dog will adjust at some point to 'quiet' time and probably cuddle with you. How old is the dog? If you adopted a puppy prepare yourself for some hair pulling hehehe either way doggies are very trainable and he should fit into your life soon enough.

Your daughter will go through an adjustment period but think it's for the best that mommy isn't focused solely on her. She needs to learn to play by herself and entertain herself and how to behave with a dog in the house. Goodness what were you going to do if you had another baby? hehehehe

Hun it's a doggy, granted it is a lot of work but you can't give 100% of your attention to your kid! You'll smother her! hahahaha

It's great that you have such a close bond with your daughter but she IS growing up and she HAS to learn to rely on herself a little bit....it's only a good thing in the long run. Surely you want to raise a child who is close to you but capable of handling her own life in future? So that she doesn't call you with every decision that she makes? You're after all trying to equip her with tools so that she can be a productive and happy adult?

Stop beating yourself up about it!!!! :) The new doggy needs love toooooo!!! :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
ha ha ha ha sadly, I already have a picture like the above. we have a gate that separates the downstairs from the upstairs but he does not yet feel comfy enough and whines and barks if I put him downstairs to give everyone a break (I know this will take time). Again, it is not her and it is not him...it is me. I was just wondering if anyone else felt so sad...I guess this is what it would have felt like if we did have another baby. I am sure I just need time to process it all. I was just wondering if anyone went through this so I know it is normal HA HA HA or am I a loon
 

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oh yes puppy blues or new dog blues happens to the best of us even if we don't have children :)

its very overwhelming to accept such a big change to the family it messes up the routine and balance for a while but after that you can't understand how you could be without them.
 
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It will be fine :) When you see how much fun she has and the love she showers on the dog, your heart will melt and you will realise it is worth it.

Is there any way you can create a safe area for the dog in your main living area? That way you're not sending the dog downstairs but you could be right next to the dog with it behind some kind of barrier? Alternatively, what about having your daughter in a high chair? The other thing you could do is train your dog to not eat food not offered to it. That way your daughter can relax and eat her cheerios without worrying about the dog.

It is challenging as you have to closely supervise all your new dog's interactions with your 2 yr old and it does take time and effort on your part. It's extra work for you, no doubt about it. Only you can decide if the extra work is worth it.

We got our dog primarily because I wanted it (very impt since I am the primary caretaker. My kids have asked for years and it is only this year that I personally felt ready for a dog) - but I love love love watching my kids together with the dog. I'm so thrilled they are going to be able to grow up with a dog in the house.

I'm not kidding myself though. The dog is going to change our lives. I know there are going to be parts of it I am NOT going to like. We adore travelling - and travelling with a dog is going to be much more challenging. (Or arranging for petsitting). We love visiting our friends at the drop of a hat. Adjusting our timing around a dog is going to be challenging and at times, annoying. Then - there are the amazing parts of having a doggy to cuddle and love. And for us - it's all going to be worth it.
 
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