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So, I saw the behavior forum and thought I would try this one on you guys. I am CLUELESS on what to do, and some advice I have gotten from people hasn't worked, so let's see if there are any new ideas.

My dog and I have an amazing bond, which I am sure all of you can relate to. He is my everything and I spoil him like there is no tomorrow. He used to sleep in my bed with me every night, and still would if he didn't have this problem.

My boyfriend of 9 months moved in about 3 months ago. Everytime BF enters the room, tegan growls. If he closes the bathroom door, he growls. If tegan hears him (AND ONLY HIM! He doesn't do it to our neighbor or UPS/FedEx) come up the stairs to he apartment, he goes into a barking/growling fit! He's SILENT every other time, in fact we used to joke he didn't know how to bark because he just never does!

My boyfriend is now getting angry as a response, which I know is DEFINITELY the wrong thing to do and Tegan is getting worse. Tegan will now BITE my boyfriend if he's tickling me on the couch and Tegan thinks I am screaming for help or something? Or if he goes to grab me playfully or something sudden like that. He's basically acting like BF is dangerous and mean and he has to protect me.

My BF and I have almost perfect relationship, we fight but it's never like physical or even that often! We usually just yell a little and one of us leaves.... so it can't be that.

Tegan ALSO pee's whenever BF gets near him and he hasn't been outside, which he does when anyone he doesn't know too well gets too close... he's a piddler... but it makes it so hard cause BF used to offer to take him out but now he just doesn't want to clean up pee so he doesn't.

Ughh... I don't know what else. He is just very aggressive toward BF, and he's never acted this way with ANYONE else in my life. It sort of worries me...

Any ideas on how to help him stop and feel better? It must be so sad feeling so anxious all the time...:(
 

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I don't see the problem...maybe teach him to bite your bf on command? Sorry!! I'm really kidding!! I would love if my dog growled at my boyfriend on command...I'd use that to get my way-like the ring I want ;) :p

In all seriousness, your dog needs to bond to your boyfriend.

Have your boyfriend carry treats, feed your dog at meal times and walk your dog.

Your dog likely sees him as a threat, and competition and maybe even a stranger.

Instead, have your boyfriend become a caregiver, packleader, and bonded buddy.

You may have to talk you boyfriend into doing these things-feeding, treating, walking-even some trick training would work wonders. But you know-us women can usually talk the bf's into doing things easy enough ;)

Just withhold cleaning, or hide the tv remote!! ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
hahaha he's the one who cleans in this relationship! I don't know how I got so lucky... hence why Tegan needs to cool his paws off cause I got a sweet deal going!! hahahaha

But thanks... it's hard to talk him into doing that now because he resents Tegan because of his past behavior. I have told him that is silly, he's a dog, but he doesn't get it...
 

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Totally understand the stubborn boyfriend. Like totally...I sometimes have to beat mine up to keep him in line :p

Remember (Scenthound-don't read this!!) girls rule the relationship-assert yourself and lay down the rules lol :p

To be more realistic, sit bf down and tell him if he loves you and wants to stay he needs to win over your dog (just as you might have to win over his mother....:p right? or his friends or whoever) and this is how to do it. Tell him how much it would mean to you if he befriends Tegan, you know-butter him up, suggest, implant etc...you'll win him over, and then he'll win Tegan over.

Maybe appeal to what your Boyfriend likes to do-like does he like to wrestle? Maybe he can rough house with your dog once they are friends. Or bike with Tegan...or rollerblade, tobaggan (maybe only us northerners do that?), dog park-whatever-try picking something he likes doing and bribe him to do it with Tegan. This would work well if he can do it with Tegan without you ;)
 

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counter conditioning...changing the dogs emotional state in response to a stimulus...the best way to cure this....you need the dog to associate good things with your boyfriend...really good things....whenever he is around, it rains yummy treats...not just kibble, but ham or hotdogs or bits of chicken....i just found out that my dog LOVES those new balance rolls...if you can get them, they're really good. basically the dog can't be excited about food and fearful of your bf at the same time...even if in the beginning you are giving out a special, high value treat, but only when your bf is present....(or anything else the dog happens to be afraid of)...don't ask the dog to do anything to earn the treats, they aren't really rewards in this situation...keep it low key, just toss them to him...
start out in a situation where he is just barely starting to growl, like w your bf standing in a doorway and you and tegan across the room, continuously feed him tiny, yummy morsels as the bf enters....eventually, you will work up to the bf giving the dog the treats, but don't push too much too soon.
i had to do this w my dog and my roommate, for some reason he was insanely fearful of her, to the point where he would continually fly across the room and hide from her if she moved to quickly...now, he runs to great her whenever she comes home...big difference....if you can talk the bf into playing along, have him start out by tossing treats to tegan, one at a time...gradually the dog will come closer and closer for them...at the beginning this is a slow process, but once tegan catches on, you will be amazed at the difference.

like mikey said, working the bf in to provide the things that tegan enjoys is great...but don't push (ie if tegan is afraid bf shouldn't drag him out for a walk etc...but if tegan gets excited, by all means go...:))also, as mikey stated, sit the bf down, let him know how important tegan is, and that it would be important to you for him to try and make this work....hopefully the bf will understand and give it a go....



Dog | Forum | Rocks!
 

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Oh Fawkese-great tips !!


TMB-Fawkse has a dog who was really fearful etc. around other people and has brought Clover a long way-she has super tips :) :)
 

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I agree with Mikey- the boyfriend needs to start being more of the care taker- and the postive one- ie the one that feeds etc.
With Femka, we did not have aggression- when we got her, since she abused by men, she was flat out terrified of him. When hubby would come home she would bolt. So we reversed this. When hubby came home it was immediate cookie time.. At the time she had just started thyroid meds so it was time then to give her pill and he would give her " her magic cheese".. LOL. It sure did not take long at all.
Secondly- if the dog does growl, he is totally ignore it. Otherwise its like a submissive dog ( your b/f) making ovetures to a dominant dog. If your b/f ignores the negative reaction, goes about his routine for a few minutes, then do cookie time for example it will slowly reverse.
When he offers the cookie, at first is just a " here you go" placing the cookie on the floor and walk away slowly calmly. ( like place the cookie on the floor and go sit on the couch type thing. )
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thank you so much for the tips! Tegan will be happy that he's supposed to get hot dogs ;) hahaha! Last night he gave Tegan one of his new treats that I bought him that he seems to really like, so I am thinking BF should be the ONLY one he gets these treats from...

It makes me sad, he is really fearful of eveyone but me. I don't know how he got this way, we have owned him since he was 8 weeks old. I had a big surgery and was away for about 8 weeks when he was about 4 months or so, so my mom took care of him. All I can think is that he never really bonded to anyone for so long that he learned to take care of himself. I have an excellent bond with him because of working with him everyday, but just about everyone else that comes around he's HIGHLY submissive... but not so much that he'll run or anything.. he actually tries to get EVERYONE he sees to pet him, but does it by coming at them really slowly with his ears completely back and rolling over on his tummy.
 

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It makes me sad, he is really fearful of eveyone but me. I don't know how he got this way, we have owned him since he was 8 weeks old.
dont' beat yourself up. I see alot of dogs that are just hardwired this way. It is VERY likely nothing you did.;) Herding breeds can be especially sensitive anyway.

Good luck on the counter conditioning and let us know how it goes. :)



Dog | Forum | Rocks!
 

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so I am thinking BF should be the ONLY one he gets these treats from...
Totally-don't double the treats-and make boyfriend the only one with awesome stuff like food and treats and a leash ;)

I agree with Crio-you probably did nothing wrong.
But now, don't shelter him. Let the bf become a friend, then start socilaizing like crazy-trips to the pet store, and have friends over as much as you can. ;) Always give new people cookies to give Tegan-he'll start to love to meet new people-because they have cookies ;)

Fawkese can help you with tips for that sort of thing, she's taken a dog who was fearful of most people and she has people over to her house frequently and Clover's getting really good now!
 

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Remember (Scenthound-don't read this!!) girls rule the relationship-assert yourself and lay down the rules lol :p
Wow...I can't believe I missed this one, lol.
Like I always said in fun when I was enslaved by the last one. I wear the pants in this house, but she puts them on me, lol.

All great advice from the girls.;)
 

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Like I always said in fun when I was enslaved by the last one. I wear the pants in this house, but she puts them on me, lol.

All great advice from the girls.;)
LMAO :p You weren't supposed to read that !! hehehe :p
(Oh and my dbf has been snooping on the forum-he didn't catch that though :) )
 

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Discussion Starter #16
hahaha! well, BF is warming up to tegan, but tegan isn't warming up to BF. Tonight tegan was in his lap being scratched and cuddled all night, and then I went to use the computer.. Tegan followed me and curdled up under my feet. BF came to see what I was up to and Tegan jumped up and growled as soon as he entered the room *eye roll* I don't know what more he could want, scratches and pieces of steak tonight and he's still being an overprotective little brat dog! heehee
 

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he will have to be counter conditioned in all sorts of circumstances....from you posts it sounds like your bf approaching you upsets tegan....maybe you could make a game of going to different rooms and have the bf walk in toward you and toss yummy treats to tegan? be creative, and just keep doing this...remember, just bc tegan accepts petting in one situation doesn't mean that he is ready to accept the "whole enchilada"
an example from my own dog...he was really really afraid of feet, especially my roommates...so we have a game where i ask him to lie down, and i slowly start feeding him pea size bits of meat while my roommate walks all around him...she can now run at him and dance all around him stomping her feet, and he is fine...i don't even need to give him treats anymore...
tegan isn't trying to be a "brat" really (i know it seems that way) he is reacting to discomfort...his options to communicate that to you are somewhat limited, but he is trying his best....
remember, bf= ham raining from the sky, bits of chicken coming from everywhere...hot dog pieces falling from heaven...(okay, gotta roll my eyes at that one:eyeroll:) really really wonderful stuff...(do try to keep track a bit, don't want the little guy to blimp up, but even if he gained a pound now, it would be great bonding time for the bf to help him work it off later;)) i've had clover for 6 months...it has taken this long to get him to warm up to my roommate and she has been here as long as he has (longer actually) plan on having to go heavy with treats for a couple of months before you see real results.....and keep us posted:)
hope that helps...:)



Dog | Forum | Rocks!
 

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Good one Fawkese- that should work. Toss it slightly in front of the him so he doesn't think that your b/f is 'throwing' things at him.
 

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he will have to be counter conditioned in all sorts of circumstances....from you posts it sounds like your bf approaching you upsets tegan....maybe you could make a game of going to different rooms and have the bf walk in toward you and toss yummy treats to tegan? be creative, and just keep doing this...remember, just bc tegan accepts petting in one situation doesn't mean that he is ready to accept the "whole enchilada"
That's a super suggestion!!!! :)

...(do try to keep track a bit, don't want the little guy to blimp up, but even if he gained a pound now, it would be great bonding time for the bf to help him work it off later;))
This might be common knowledge, but if you want to keep track of weight (And with a corgi, you want to keep track of weight :p)-stand on the scale (your regular bathroom scale) then grab dog and repeat; subtract original weight from dog+you weight and you have dog weight :) :)
 
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