Delilah- Jack Russell x Rat Terrier; Marshmellow- Netherland Dwarf Rabbit
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My boyfriend and I left Delilah for the first time while we went to NYC for a few days this week. We left her with my parents.
We were expecting her to be happy when we got back like a normal dog. When we come home from work she explodes with happiness and starts sprinting in circles and flinging herself off of furniture. She didn't do this. She yapped at us (and particularly me) like she does when she's scared of someone- low posture, a snarly yapping noise, coming up to me and then running away. She started kissing my boyfriend once she recognized him but was very upset with me for some reason.
And then I found out my mom had been feeding her more than what I instructed. She looked physically fatter. And I only gave them enough food to feed her the regular amount so they were feeding her Mia's senior dog food. I told them I don't feed her that much because she was gaining weight slowly but I didn't think it was healthy for her to gain a lot of weight quickly. They told me I was starving her- even my boyfriend agreed. She was skin and bones when I got her! She's gained over a pound since this summer which is a lot for a 6 lbs dog! I don't know how anyone could say I'm starving her if she's GAINING weight. So they basically attacked me for that.
And then I saw she was walking stiffly on her hind left leg and it was a little bent and I asked them if she hurt herself. They said she had a leg spasm when she was outside in the cold and she had started screaming. I don't know why that happened but I'm concerned that we aren't going to be able to do agility now. And if she's having leg problems there's another reason why she shouldn't be gaining too much weight too quickly. But again, no one agreed with me.
Then my mom brought up that she was terrified ("petrified" was the word she used) of the harness and implied that we might be scaring her or hurting her (ie abusing her) with it. Delilah's always been like that since we got her. Whenever you ask her if she wants to go out or show her the leash she starts trotting in circles around the room until she finally gives up and waits by the door in an almost cowering position. We've played harness touching and leash clipping games, and she really likes going on walks, hikes, and car rides once we get out there, but she still hates actually going out. But my mom kept implying that I was doing something wrong and scaring her.
I got very upset and took the dog and her stuff and left.
Then lastly on the way home my boyfriend said that maybe my training methods aren't good for her and that I don't know as much about dogs as I think I do. He said when people come over we should let her bark at them and get over it rather than keeping her in a separate room or at a distance and working with her. Not just in that situation, but he thinks I'm not good at training her in general because of all of the issues she has.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and maybe I shouldn't have gotten a dog in the first place. And even if I am right, my whole family still thinks I'm wrong and is ganging up against me. She wasn't even happy to see me after I was gone for several days, it was like she had forgotten who I was.
We were expecting her to be happy when we got back like a normal dog. When we come home from work she explodes with happiness and starts sprinting in circles and flinging herself off of furniture. She didn't do this. She yapped at us (and particularly me) like she does when she's scared of someone- low posture, a snarly yapping noise, coming up to me and then running away. She started kissing my boyfriend once she recognized him but was very upset with me for some reason.
And then I found out my mom had been feeding her more than what I instructed. She looked physically fatter. And I only gave them enough food to feed her the regular amount so they were feeding her Mia's senior dog food. I told them I don't feed her that much because she was gaining weight slowly but I didn't think it was healthy for her to gain a lot of weight quickly. They told me I was starving her- even my boyfriend agreed. She was skin and bones when I got her! She's gained over a pound since this summer which is a lot for a 6 lbs dog! I don't know how anyone could say I'm starving her if she's GAINING weight. So they basically attacked me for that.
And then I saw she was walking stiffly on her hind left leg and it was a little bent and I asked them if she hurt herself. They said she had a leg spasm when she was outside in the cold and she had started screaming. I don't know why that happened but I'm concerned that we aren't going to be able to do agility now. And if she's having leg problems there's another reason why she shouldn't be gaining too much weight too quickly. But again, no one agreed with me.
Then my mom brought up that she was terrified ("petrified" was the word she used) of the harness and implied that we might be scaring her or hurting her (ie abusing her) with it. Delilah's always been like that since we got her. Whenever you ask her if she wants to go out or show her the leash she starts trotting in circles around the room until she finally gives up and waits by the door in an almost cowering position. We've played harness touching and leash clipping games, and she really likes going on walks, hikes, and car rides once we get out there, but she still hates actually going out. But my mom kept implying that I was doing something wrong and scaring her.
I got very upset and took the dog and her stuff and left.
Then lastly on the way home my boyfriend said that maybe my training methods aren't good for her and that I don't know as much about dogs as I think I do. He said when people come over we should let her bark at them and get over it rather than keeping her in a separate room or at a distance and working with her. Not just in that situation, but he thinks I'm not good at training her in general because of all of the issues she has.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and maybe I shouldn't have gotten a dog in the first place. And even if I am right, my whole family still thinks I'm wrong and is ganging up against me. She wasn't even happy to see me after I was gone for several days, it was like she had forgotten who I was.