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So I have had my dog, a female Jack Russel Terrier, for over 10 years now. She recently moved down with me after years of living with my mom while I attended school. Everything was going great until my boyfrend moved in. Now, she is not aggressive or territorial about me at all, as in she lets people near me with no issue. She has always slept with me in my bed with no issue (I know, i know, some people think this is not appropriate and leads to behavioral problems which is probably my case). Since my bf moved in, she seems more stressed. She is constantly itching when he is around and she just seems uncomfortable around him. I know the itching starts when he is around because, when he goes to work and its just me and her, she doesnt itch at all and seems more relaxed. Sadly this wasn't the main issue. My dog has NEVER had an accident on furniture or purposefully peed on my bed to show dominance or mark her territory. Since, my bf moved in, she started humping our blankets and peeing on our bed, sometimes multiple times a month (at least i think it was pee). She is no longer allowed on the bed and that seemed to solve the issue. The itching though has not gone away. I have four other animals and they don't itch and are treated for fleas so I know that is not it. I guess my question is, has anyone had this same issue. Where another person just stresses out your dog or your dog just doesn't like them? I get confused because she still goes up to him all excited to get pets, yet she acts stressed at the same time... I want them to get along and I hate seeing her itch all the time that he is around. Please don't be rude, as in like everyone else, i came here for advice or to see if anyone else has had the same issues. Thank you so much! (also, she does not act like this with anyone else in her 10 years so I don't think she has general anxiety but I may be wrong)
 

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There is a lot to unpack here, and I'm in a bit of a rush, so hopefully someone will jump in with more info. But just a few quick things.

If you want her on the bed, no one here really has an issue with that other than current management. Dominance and alpha theories have been debunked for decades. The study and data it was based on is all kinds of faulty and has been renounced by conservationists, wildlife biologists, canine behaviorists, etc. and the guy who first proposed it for decades.
The scratching really is probably stress, like you said. Kind of like when people chew their nails or play with their hair when nervous. If she still comes up to the boyfriend, it might be because she's "flirting." It basically is her showing how cute and non-threatening she is to someone who scares her. @JoanneF explains this response much better. The humping was also probably stress release, and the pee. But if the peeing persists despite working with her and doing a potty training refresher, vet visit.
How is your boyfriend with her usually? Do you force interaction between the two?
We can probably fine tune this next part more depending on your answers.
For now, have your boyfriend ignore her mostly. But, when home, have him throw her treats (away from him) when he walks past her. No eye contact, just very casual. I'd do the same when he's sitting and she comes for pets. If she still solicits pets, maybe for 5 seconds, then stop. And so on. You can do this.
 

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Thanks @Shadowfox. The flirting thing - you have maybe heard of the fight or flight stress response, where the body releases hormones including adrenaline in preparation to fight the threat or run away from it. There are another two responses that are less well known - freeze (rabbit in the headlamps) and flirt (look how unthreatening I am, don't hurt me).

That could be what you are seeing, she really does sound stressed from the other behaviours. Your bf's behaviour is probably very different from everyone else she has met (we don't need to go into detail here but * cough * more tactile :rolleyes:) so perhaps a bit confusing for her. And she is definitely not being dominant, that is the flat earth theory of canine behaviour, it has been thoroughly debunked but it won't go away. The wolf pack used in the original study was not a real pack, it was a group of individuals thrown together and the situation (captivity rather than wild) skewed the data as their behaviour was not natural. And dogs are not wolves anyway, any more than we are chimpanzees - in both cases there was a shared ancestor but the species evolved in different directions. That's why we have humans AND apes, wolves AND dogs.

I agree to have your bf ignore her, not even eye contact as dogs find that intimidating, it's like boxers eyeballing each other before the fight. If he ignores her and throws treats away (so she isn't conflicted by wanting the treat but having to approach scary man to get it) she will start to develop more positive feelings towards him.

The 5 second petting thing - I'll just elaborate on that a little - it's about giving her control over how much she is touched. The idea is he pets her for 5 seconds then stops. If she asks for more, by nudging or similar, he can do another 5 seconds then stops again. And repeat until she stops asking. Then she will develop more confidence because she has control and can make it stop when she has had enough.
 

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I hate to say this, but it is possible that your dog is just not fond of your BF. This happened to a friend of mine and her dog just flat out didn't like her BF. Could be a scent, or a visual, or I might be entirely wrong with my guess.
Hope that you can get things sorted out.
 
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