Dog Forum banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
42 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hello,

I'm brand spanking new here, so hi! Hope everyone's Monday is going well!

My boyfriend and I decided to finally take the plunge and adopt a female English Bully from a reputable breeder. She'll be ready to come home at the end of September and we're really excited! Both of us have previous experience with dogs and I know what to expect from the breed we've adopted, but I can't seem to shake this lump of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

Before we moved in together, I had tried owning a pup on my own (same breed) but soon became overwhelmed. Not by the responsibility so much as by all the negative vibes I was receiving from friends and family. All the "Oh, don't do it, you'll regret it!" and "How can you handle all those animals?!" (I have cats as well) and "Get ready for sleepless nights. It's just like having a baby." and "It's not fair to have a dog in an apartment", etc etc etc... I didn't have a lot of support, except from my boyfriend. Eventually it all came crashing down around me and I lost my nerve. I started having anxiety attacks and was a nervous wreck over doing right by my puppy... I thought I was a failure. I was so upset when he'd cry as I was trying to crate train him. I thought I was the worst "dog mum" in the world. In the end, I gave him back to the breeder... and I've been kicking myself ever since for not being stronger back then.

This time around, I'm determined to make this work. I'm just getting paranoid and even though I tell myself that I'm in a better place now and TOTALLY capable of raising a puppy with the support of my partner, all of these doubts that were brought on by my previous experience are seeping back in. I'd love to share the joy and excitement about this girl we've adopted, but I'm scared of all the negativity I KNOW I'm going to get, so I'm just kind of folded in on myself over this...

Anyone have any suggestions or can relate to what I'm feeling right now? I know everything will be fine, I just... don't understand why this has to be such a big deal to people to the point that it gets to me so badly <:/

Thanks in advance
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
347 Posts
Hello,

I'm brand spanking new here, so hi! Hope everyone's Monday is going well!

My boyfriend and I decided to finally take the plunge and adopt a female English Bully from a reputable breeder. She'll be ready to come home at the end of September and we're really excited! Both of us have previous experience with dogs and I know what to expect from the breed we've adopted, but I can't seem to shake this lump of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

Before we moved in together, I had tried owning a pup on my own (same breed) but soon became overwhelmed. Not by the responsibility so much as by all the negative vibes I was receiving from friends and family. All the "Oh, don't do it, you'll regret it!" and "How can you handle all those animals?!" (I have cats as well) and "Get ready for sleepless nights. It's just like having a baby." and "It's not fair to have a dog in an apartment", etc etc etc... I didn't have a lot of support, except from my boyfriend. Eventually it all came crashing down around me and I lost my nerve. I started having anxiety attacks and was a nervous wreck over doing right by my puppy... I thought I was a failure. I was so upset when he'd cry as I was trying to crate train him. I thought I was the worst "dog mum" in the world. In the end, I gave him back to the breeder... and I've been kicking myself ever since for not being stronger back then.

This time around, I'm determined to make this work. I'm just getting paranoid and even though I tell myself that I'm in a better place now and TOTALLY capable of raising a puppy with the support of my partner, all of these doubts that were brought on by my previous experience are seeping back in. I'd love to share the joy and excitement about this girl we've adopted, but I'm scared of all the negativity I KNOW I'm going to get, so I'm just kind of folded in on myself over this...

Anyone have any suggestions or can relate to what I'm feeling right now? I know everything will be fine, I just... don't understand why this has to be such a big deal to people to the point that it gets to me so badly <:/

Thanks in advance
Hi! :)

Everyone has some anxiety when getting a new dog. It's a huge deal. It'll pass though, lean on your boyfriend and this forum for some support and remember that dog's are awesome little companions. As far as your friends and family go. They all kind of sound like assholes! I would just be straight up with people and tell them that you're getting a dog because you love dogs and could think of nothing better than having a furry little buddy, and if they continue their negativity tell them they're stressing you out and you would really appreciate that they be supportive. If you're friends can't deal with that then they really don't sound like friends at all.

I've known many people that have this attitude about dogs/pets. Some people just aren't made for pets, others just don't know the joys of pet ownership because they have never experienced it. My uncle was a lot like that. Growing up my family has always had pets (dogs and cats) from before I was born and we treated them like family. He would always scoff and make stupid comments about how they were just a dog or cat. Then his daughter got a dog and he's done a total 180. Don't know a person who showers as much attention and praise towards dogs as he does now. Spoils that dog rotten. lol.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,613 Posts
First of all, love your username. ;)

I can definitely relate to your anxiety. My Aussie is just turning 1 (tomorrow!) and we have a new eight week old Border Collie. Let me tell you sister, I have cried at least 15 times since bringing her home. Reasons I have cried:
-She wouldn't stop crying at night
-I waited outside with her for 25 minutes and she came back in and peed on the floor. While I was cleaning that up, she pooped.
-I feel like I'm neglecting my other dog
-I'm so tired
-She bit me and it hurt

Don't even stress about crying, it is 100% natural with a new puppy. They are basically adorable little balls of trouble. Don't worry about her crying in her crate, it's going to happen, it does not make you a bad pet parent at all!

If you even need to vent, complain, or ask for help, come on here! Everyone is super supportive and is here to make sure dogs and people live happy lives together. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Khajiit

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,903 Posts
When I got my current dog, I was a mess. I was raised with dogs, had done the whole puppy anxiety thing, and thought I was prepared. But, he came home with some very unique behavioral challenges and I was going through a rough time in my life as well and he refused to interact with anyone but me...it was rough. I know how you feel!

My advice (which I will take myself when I get another dog..wayyy in the future) is to set up the best support system you can. Find a great, positive training place to take some puppy classes. You will feel so much better once you have some knowledgeable people to reassure that your puppy is on track, or to ask questions of should you have them. Plus, if you're interested you can transition into other classes beyond the puppy stage.

You may also want to line either your boyfriend or some other friends up to take over puppy sitting if you feel like you need a break. Sometimes a half hour of peace is all it takes!

Finally, repeat after me, "this is not the end of the world". Anything your puppy does, it has been done before and can be managed and/or fixed. Your puppy peed on the floor right after you took him out? Happens. He chewed off the vacuum cleaner plug? Happens (and if you know a decent handyman, can be fixed very cheaply).

Enjoy your little bundle of love, and take it one step and one day at a time. And, of course, come on here to vent, ask questions, and share pictures!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Hi there Khajiit

This is my first ever post on here (I have been browsing for a little while getting brilliant tips - thanks everyone!) and was so grateful to read your post!

I will be a first time puppy Mummy to Barkley (standard wire haired Dachshund) when we bring him home in just over a week at 8 weeks old. I am beyond excited... I mean, like a child excited... and nervous too...

I have never had a dog before (my partner has grown up with them and is amazing with dogs) and, even though I know I will love this little chap more than anything, I keep thinking 'oh, what if I'm a bad mum, what if I forget to do something or what if he cries and I can't fix it'. I believe this is just normal new pup nerves. Our amazing breeder has been so supportive and I know she will be at the end of a phone if I have any worries. I have also booked up puppy classes and will be taking two weeks off work to be around fully to help him adjust to his new home.

Luckily my partner is wonderful and keeps reassuring me as do all my family and friends who have been so supportive and are wishing us all the love and success BUT I still feel nervous. My mum said it would be unnatural to NOT feel nervous, it shows you care. And my Mum is not a 'pet' person.

When I feel the heebie jeebies I try to remind myself to take a long deep breath and to only think about 1 day at a time. Not the next 10 years and all that may or may not happen! I'm a worrier by nature you may have guessed!

I just wanted to say you are not alone and thanks for helping me feel less anxious. Knowing its OK to feel anxious helps. And I would be very happy to be a supportive friend if you ever feel you need a shoulder.

Take care and wishing you all the luck in the world.

KTx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all of your replies! It means a lot to know I'm not the only one having the puppy-jitters (I figured I wasn't, but it's always nice to be reassured). I'll definitely share photos when she comes home. In the mean time I'll come back to re-read these replies when I'm starting to panic again. Heheh.

I've finally plucked up the nerve to share the news with friends and family over FaceBook, but added a massive note about keeping negative comments and concerns to themselves. I understand that what they're saying comes from a place of love and concern, but I get the feeling that I wouldn't get comments like that if I were having a human baby! Oi... seems it's hard for some people to just be happy, enjoy the puppy, and be supportive.

I'm really glad I found this forum, so thank you again!
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top