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We have two main concerns.
1. Dog expressing fearful reactions to one particular child.
2. Same dog is obsessed with my own dog in an unhealthy manner.

My children and I regularly visit my boyfriend's house, which is also home to a housemate and his dog.
Housemate 's dog, H, is an intact male of a small medium breed roughly age 3. Historically, H gets along well with children including my own and usually does well with other dogs. H has very minimal formal training, has a host of unchecked behaviors that would never be allowed in my household, and unfortunately is mostly a house/yard dog. H is a good dog underneath it all, we enjoy his presence (mostly, as you'll read below) and his humans simply are not bothered by his manners so nothing is done about them.
My dog, D, is a rescued small medium Shepherd mix of some sort, spayed. We got her this spring at just about a year old. Her "purpose" was to be trained as a therapy dog for my children, they all have various special needs. D has a wonderful energy about her naturally. She is the first dog I have trained myself, I've done much reading about several popular training methods (that happen to contradict each other really) but I'm happy to say that after only a few months with us D is generally a very stable, balanced dog that knows many commands with accuracy and can be taken anywhere dog-friendly without incident. We are waiting for a grant to sign her up for formal obedience and the therapy training.

About two weeks ago H began showing a peeked interest in D. They were good friends prior to this, had known each other since I got D, now H tends to irritate D to the point where she will act very dominant to shove him off and/or she'll attempt to hide somewhere in the house away from him. We are usually here on weekends, so this is several days a week.
H has taken to obsessively licking D's paws and legs, but will happily groom any inch of her he can get to. H will follow D around all day, he refuses to separate from her naturally. Note that he is not getting aroused or humping D. If D stops walking, H is licking her legs. If D sits, H sits, if she goes to her bed, he tries to climb in with her (usually she draws the line here.) If D is outside the house or if H is locked in his bedroom, H will whine and cry until reunited.
At first this was all cute and amusing. Now we are on week three of this and problems have arisen. H gets so worked up over D that he will no longer potty when let out (chases her scent around instead) and his already poor appetite is now almost non-existent, won't even look at his food if D is in the house. No, we do not ever let D eat H food. H is not under or overweight at this time, regularly sees the vet and is on very special diet in hopes of controlling occasional seizures (he cannot have any treats, so I stand no hope using food as a behavior modification tool.)
Our other pressing concern developed two weeks ago. My youngest child, who is an older preschooler, was always good friends with H. H is a cuddly dog (allowed on furniture! Not my rule for dog!) so he and my youngest would frequently cuddle up together by choice. They had a nice relationship, as good as a grabby small human with an unsuspecting canine can get. H has not often sat on the couch since he became so obsessed with D, he tends to go lay on the dog bed with her instead now. About two weeks ago, H has started behavior that I can only describe as "guarding" over D. Every so often, as of two weeks ago, H will become agitated if my middle child (young elementary age) approaches D while H is with her, but EVERY time my youngest approaches D, H freaks out. My oldest child (mid elementary age) does not elicit such a response, nor do the adults unless we act as if to correct H or remove him from D. Upon being approached, H begins a whining sound, kind of low just like a "hey! What do you think you're doing?" If continued towards H or D, H will go into what I interpret as a fearful growl. No teeth showing, not a deep growl, he kind of tucks into himself, or might start rolling to expose his belly if an adult intervenes, all while quietly growling and whining. He will shiver and shake if we move between him and D.
As a parent my biggest fear is a child being bit of course, and then of the dog being taken by authorities. Since he has pegged the youngest, grabbier, most unpredictable child of the three as an object of concern, there is a higher probability of him eventually feeling scared enough to bite said child. He has no history of biting, to note. He never attempts to walk away during these incidents, just stays either paralyzed by fear or slowly tries to wedge back in between the human and D.

I cannot afford to hire a trainer for my own dog right now, never mind someone else's dog, and his humans don't see the concerns currently (they often aren't even present, honestly.) I know if housemate were to witness the growling at child, he would immediately take action but would likely do so with a more dominant, punishing approach. Since H seems legitimately fearful of something coming between himself and D, I worry that a forceful approach will reinforce the fear and distrust of the children.

What is going on with this dog?!
 

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That's so odd, maybe there's a female in heat nearby, but since he can't get to her he's responding like that to D instead? Or maybe D has some sort of infection which is why H is licking her obsessively. I know you said he isn't mounting her, but I've heard that UTI's can cause dogs to react to the infected dog as if she were in heat:

"Such chronic “mountees” often have a urinary tract infection, which attracts other dogs. When we notice one dog being mounted a lot, we will suggest a veterinary visit to check for a UTI, in which case treatment usually cures the problem."


Maybe keep the dogs separate for now? See how H acts when D's not around?
 
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