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Hi all,

I'm new to the forum but I've been reading a lot of this topic. Everything I've read had helped but I still can't shake the anxiety I feel over our new pup, I'm hoping writing it all down and getting some advice may help.

Backstory: I'm 25, currently living at home with my parents, younger brother, and our 4 year old chihuahua/papillon mix. My dad and I have been saying for a long time we should get a friend for our dog, as she's a bit possessive of us and is definitely a people dog. Not that she doesn't get along with other dogs, she's just uninterested and therefore not very socialized. We thought another dog would be good for her. My mom resisted for a long time, saying she didn't want to deal with another dog, yet a few times she came close to adopting another one and would send inquiries when a dog caught her eye.

A few weeks ago I saw a 9-10 month schnauzer mix (he's not truly a schnauzer, he's the ultimate definition of a mutt but was listed on a schnauzer rescue I follow). I sent mom a pic, she said to inquire. I did not really thinking anything would come of it. Next thing I know I'm meeting him and taking him home with my mom saying "he's YOUR dog and YOUR responsibility", even though I initially sent it because we've been considering a second dog for the whole family.

We bring him home and to our surprise everything went smoothly with meeting our dog. They played, she seemed to enjoy him, and he's honestly a very good and sweet dog, we've not really had any behavior issues, except for the expected accidents in the house and a little crying during crate training. Yet I've been regretting the decision ever since. I had second thoughts before we even met him, but talked myself out of them because I really wanted him. Part of the regret is me not truly being ready for the responsibility of a dog- I just think it all happened so quickly and I wanted to adopt him asap so no one else would get him, and didn't have time to really think about it. Part of it is also the change in lifestyle that's getting to me. And another big thing was me thinking about the future too much - how when I move out, I won't want to take him with me because I'll be taking him from his family. After a few days of anxiety, I finally told my mom how I was feeling. She told me basically to just calm the heck down because he was fine, he's a good dog and fitting in well with our dog and home, and if it helped I could think of him as another family dog to alleviate stressing about the future. I felt better, and as the week went on I thought I was over it.

Now my anxiety is back because it seems like our first dog is stressed. She was really fine for a week, I guess she maybe thought he was just visiting, but now she's very subdued and avoiding him, not wanting to play like she was. It's very easy to tell when she's stressing and she's definitely showing all her usual signs. She just seems sad and jealous even though we've been very careful to give her lots and lots of attention. I'm just full of guilt that were adding this stress to her life, and afraid maybe she is a one dog house kinda dog.

Again, it's only been a week and I know we all still need time to adjust. I don't know what I'm really looking for except to just kind of vent and maybe get some advice. Will our first dog ever get used to having another dog around? I know it would break my heart to take him back to the rescue, but I love our first dog so much that if that was what was right for her I'd do it.

Any thoughts/stories would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
 

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While i've never had the regret of adopting another dog because it is stressing my first dog out... as we've always had dogs and they've always over-lapped each other. From the time i was a baby we had 3-5 dogs at a time growing up and even now i have 2 dogs. HOWEVER I did recently have a brief bout of regret when I got Blarney from her breeder.

The meeting went well, the dogs liked each other(Translation Liam didn't try to maul her) and they even played. When we got home, that night i went to feed them. Well all of our dogs have always been free-fed, and never had any issues. Apparently Blarney had slight food aggression, for her and Liam got into a fight. I broke it up quickly and checked them both out for wounds. The inside of Liams leg had been ripped open(Just the skin, no muscle) and i flipped. That was my baby, i wasn't warned about her aggression and now my baby was hurt. I called her breeder who agreed to take her back, if that was still my decision in the morning. Come morning i'd calmed down and told her breeder no, fights happen. I've since purchased both of them crates and they are fed inside their crates. With some work we got over her food aggression and all that remains of that incident and my brief moment of regret is a small scar on the inside of Liams leg. The two of them now get along great, and I love Blarney to pieces.

Point of the story is things tend to work out. Calm down, dogs can sense your emotions. Your stressed, which is whats stressing her out. Give it some time and quit worrying about the what ifs, and is this a mistake. If its meant to be it will be.
 

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Hi all,


Any thoughts/stories would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
I think you dog is picking up on your feelings and reacting to them. Dogs are very sensitive to their people. Your stress has become your dogs stress. Your parents like the new dog so let it go and try to enjoy life. In the future never get a dog for another dog only get one if you truly want the dog.
 

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Honestly--I've "regretted" every single animal I've gotten when I first got them. I always get horrible anxiety and freak out on and off for the first week or two because, while I was completely ready for and really wanted another animal, I have a hard time adjusting to big changes right away. I'm sure that once you get used to the idea of having a second dog and get yourself into a routine with him, you'll feel better. I usually find myself feeling more at ease just seeing my new animal find it's place in the family and I think your other dog will adjust to the new addition with some time.
 

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When I first got my puppy I regretted it for about 2 weeks. I have a history of anxiety and with a new puppy it was terrible. I was having anxiety attacks almost everyday. Then I slowly got used to the idea of having her, it helped me to "show her off" to other people and to find something fun to do with her. We started taking Ekko for mini hikes.Please give it a few weeks until you get used to it! You will both grow to love each other and realize you made a good choice.
 

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Thanks everyone! Everything is fine now, pretty much the day after I posted this I was fine again. I just think I needed to write everything down and get it off my chest, I was feeling so guilty for regretting getting him after wanting him so much! He's so sweet and wonderful and is adjusting so well, we all love him! And our first dog seems to be doing fine with him, I think the stress she seemed to be feeling was surely partly my fault and also because my mom was out of town and she was missing her. :p I'm glad to know this is a common feeling with a new dog.
 

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I'm like this with every new pet. By this point in my life (I'm much older than 25), I pretty much know in advance I'll be feeling pretty much freaked out for a few weeks (if everything goes perfect) and months if some hiccups and upsets are involved. So I pretty much expect to have 'mixed feelings' for a while. Sounds like you may be a little like that. Change is scary but can lead to very good things.
 
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