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Very Tired- Puppy Anxiety

This is a discussion on Very Tired- Puppy Anxiety within the Puppy Help forums, part of the Dog Training and Behavior category; I don't actively dislike her. I mostly tolerate her. And I work with her. She got training for a butter knife of all natural organic ...

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Old 09-17-2014, 12:31 PM
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I don't actively dislike her. I mostly tolerate her. And I work with her.

She got training for a butter knife of all natural organic peanut butter, no sugar added, no persatives that type of thing.

She had to sit, lay down, sit back up from the laying position, paw, lay down, come, and then lay down before sitting. Then she got the butter knife of peanut butter.

I'm being nice to her as best as I can be nice to a dog or to anyone in that fact of the matter.
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Old 09-17-2014, 04:13 PM
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I think you need to adjust your attitude. You are asking her to do an awful lot for you, for minimum payment... The dog isn't trying to trick you or cheat you. The more you give her, the more you'll get out of her. For example, I would have given her a treat for every single one of those commands in that chain. It's a complex series of behaviours! She did a good job! She'll be so much more willing to work for you if you give enough reason to.

Same with affection. If you give it freely, she's less likely to have to demand it or feel abandoned when your wife leaves. You don't have to baby talk or hug her. How about bonding with grooming, or just some gentle pets?

If you really can't bring yourself to be nice to your dog (I do wonder if you include your wife when you say you're incapable of being nice to people and how she feels about that...) you should rehome her. Dogs aren't machines. They need love, and if you're her primary carer you need to provide it. I think you'll get a lot of out it you make the effort here. Maybe she'll change your life.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:02 PM
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My wife gives her plenty of love trust me. When I was trying to give Aero commands she was staring at mom.

And see I think PB is a treat in itself. If it was not PB I wouldn't have made her do that many commands. But it was PB. It was something special, but since I was making a PBJ sandwich and knew she liked PB I was going to give it to her. She also needs to learn she won't get it for free though.

I am not suppose to be the primary caretaker. My wife is.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:14 PM
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There is a saying in teaching about students that goes like this: "They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

It's true for dogs too. Aero pines away for your wife because she knows your wife cares about her. She looks at your wife while you're "giving commands" because she knows your wife cares about her.

To Aero, being left home with you is the same as being left home alone. Or maybe worse because she knows there is a person there with her, but that person doesn't care about her. She can sense your resentment and impatience with her, believe me.
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SonofFluff View Post
I am not suppose to be the primary caretaker. My wife is.
I get that your wife is "supposed" to be the primary caretaker, but the reality is that you are, by default, the primary caretaker as you're the one at home the most hours.

That's why I've been suggesting from my post here that you either accept this role or find a new home for the dog.

I agree that none of this is particularly fair. The primary caretaker should always be the one to decide whether to bring a dog into the home and which dog to welcome to the family.

That being said, Aero is completely innocent and deserves to have a primary caregiver who embraces his role. You've either got to accept that role or find her a new home. Otherwise, you're just going to continue going around in circles.
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Old 09-18-2014, 03:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SonofFluff View Post
My wife gives her plenty of love trust me. When I was trying to give Aero commands she was staring at mom.

And see I think PB is a treat in itself. If it was not PB I wouldn't have made her do that many commands. But it was PB. It was something special, but since I was making a PBJ sandwich and knew she liked PB I was going to give it to her. She also needs to learn she won't get it for free though.

I am not suppose to be the primary caretaker. My wife is.
You really can't expect her to give you anything in return (respect, better behaviour, positive interactions) if you're not willing to compromise.

I'm not sure quite what you're expecting us to say here. If you don't want anything to do with a dog, you need to talk with your wife about rehoming. If Aero is here to stay, there's lots of things you could do to make your relationship with her better.

I hope you read some of these and they give you something to think about towards changing your attitude:
Let’s Talk About Treats | Z-dogs Blog
Treat Training Trinity – Why positive reinforcement did not work for my dog. | awesomedogs
Plenty in Life Is Free: Reflections on Dogs, Training and Finding Grace: Kathy Sdao: 9781617810640: Amazon.com: Books Plenty in Life Is Free: Reflections on Dogs, Training and Finding Grace: Kathy Sdao: 9781617810640: Amazon.com: Books

Culture Clash: Jean Donaldson: 9781617811128: Amazon.com: Books Culture Clash: Jean Donaldson: 9781617811128: Amazon.com: Books

https://www.dogforum.com/puppy-help/h...g-nilf-170874/
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