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Very Tired- Puppy Anxiety

This is a discussion on Very Tired- Puppy Anxiety within the Puppy Help forums, part of the Dog Training and Behavior category; I have two jobs. I work at a shelter, but I also work at home with the CPU I write articles for an online magazine. ...

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Old 09-11-2014, 03:30 AM
  #21
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I have two jobs. I work at a shelter, but I also work at home with the CPU I write articles for an online magazine. Product reviews. Writing my articles doesn't always go to plan, and sometimes I have late nights, like tonight. So sleep is very important. hahahaa.

What I tried to talk to my wife about is:

-Walks before she goes to bed
-Walks before she goes to work

As for me, I have issues with being called dad. I feel like a babysitter really. Ironic, how I am on a dog forum. Don't get me wrong, I think they are cute, adorable, I like to pet them and talk about other species psychology. But I rather not be this pup's father. Because I didn't want this pup.

I'll train her, feed her, do the 5 minute walk. But I honestly want nothing to do with the pup, other than the basic stuff like the training. Though that's a whole another situation.
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Old 09-11-2014, 03:38 AM
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Yea, that's a different situation. I'm sorry you got stuck there without her talking to you about it beforehand. Maybe she feels like this puppy is a way to express her desire to take care of another being that she doesn't want to admit. Or maybe she did it on impulse, and feels irresponsible rehoming. Its sort of one of those things that she needs to express to you.

I know it's not really my place, but maybe you guys could try doing something new together. Sounds like training this puppy might be a good reason for you and your wife to come closer together and communicate better
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Old 09-11-2014, 04:00 AM
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I hope. All it really causes is my mind to feel like I'm lucid on drugs. My tiredness doesn't bring out the best of my personality. Trust me, I'm a little more mellow than this. But my sleep deprived idle mind all these thoughts. They bring out the grump in me.

So communicating with her has been hard. Because there's what I want to say, and what I say because I'm so tired and I just don't know how to say what I am thinking properly. Cause the head fuzzies, you know.
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Old 09-11-2014, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SonofFluff View Post
So communicating with her has been hard. Because there's what I want to say, and what I say because I'm so tired and I just don't know how to say what I am thinking properly. Cause the head fuzzies, you know.
So write it down. Type up a letter explaining how you feel, at least that way you can edit what you say.
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Old 09-11-2014, 11:36 AM
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I am sorry if this comes out wrong but here goes.....Your wife needs to get her butt out of bed an hour earlier than normal and walk the dog she just HAD to have. Then she needs to come up with a training plan and implement it.
It is great giving cuddles, and out pouring of love to a dog, heck my own Sherlock has to push me away sometimes LOL, but responsible dog ownership is also about making sure you have a happy settled dog.

I sort of have the same situation as you do...my husband is a dog guy and all around animal guy, as long as he does not have to look after them. In other words he loves loving on other people's animals. Somehow he got stuck in a house with 4 cats and because he loves and spoils me he got me a Bluetick Coonhound pup for a early birthday present.

He takes him for small walks and loves on him when he wants but I wanted the dog it is my responsibility. It is my butt up at 2 am to take Sherlock out, it is my butt that is walking him in the rain first thing int he morning before my coffee and I am awake. It is me that is sleep deprived because Sherlock is my responsibility because I wanted him.


When I have to be gone my husband makes sure he takes him out for potty breaks and does play with him....but at the end of the day it falls on my shoulders to make sure this pup needs/wants are met, and that he grows up to be a great canine citizen.

You need to get some sleep then have a deep heart to heart with your wife and tell her that either she steps up or the dog is re-homed because at the end of the day it is not fair or a good life for this dog to live with tension and resentment.

Good Luck

Gem
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Old 09-11-2014, 12:26 PM
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She did better, I guess that's the word today than she has the last two days. Maybe because my wife worked at the time I naturally get up, so Aero didn't have such a big stink. I mean she's still whining and she's never food motivated when my wife leaves, she won't take the Kong. She also isn't distracted, like I tried taking out the toy she loves to chase. It didn't work.

She just flopped at the front door and started to cry. I tried calling her over.

Oh but she did when I first woke up and I sat on the couch to sun bathe because when I wake up I don't just wake up. I have to sit for thirty minutes to really wake up. No cup of coffee or anything, just sit there without a word or conversation.

Point is while I was sun bathing Aero did groom me, it was the weird experience ever.

She was also super excited to see me as if me sleeping had suddenly made me gone forever.
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Old 09-11-2014, 02:33 PM
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So there is your glimmer of change LOL most change is not a shout but a whisper.

Gem
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Old 09-13-2014, 04:29 PM
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This is going to sound harsh, so I apologize ahead of time. When I read your posts, I think, "What a life!" I sure wish I could sleep until I "naturally" wake up, sunbathe on the couch for 30 minutes after awaking, then spend the day working from home with a cute puppy to play with.
My reality is up at 6am during the week (with midnight and sometimes 2:30 potty times for my 10-week old pup). At 6am, I have three horses, three dogs, and two cats to take care of before I head off to teach high school all day. When I get home, I don't get to sit down and relax until bedtime. I'm usually in bed by 10-11ish, and the young pup sleeps with me so I can wake up when he does to take him potty.

THAT SAID, *I* chose this existence, so it's all a labor of love for me. I give up quite a lot (including sleep) to have my animals. I'm a natural introvert too, but teaching high school sure changes that, lol!), but animals have always been my soulmates.

You didn't choose to have your lifestyle altered, and so you resent it. Your wife was not very wise in choosing that type of young dog for apartment life. I can understand YOUR frustration AND the puppy's.

Good luck to you. I hope whatever solution you find is the right one for all three of you.
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Last edited by Gretchenpc; 09-13-2014 at 04:36 PM.
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:05 PM
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Well the walks are not helping her much. Because my wife takes her at the wrong times of days. If you work at 11am, you should be taking Aero an hour before you go to work.

"I walked her at 7 and got back at 9"

That's great, but she's still whining and barking when you're gone.

We go through this everyday. My wife manages to come back from work safe and sound. Why does this pup not understand this concept? Everyday, my wife leaves and comes back.

I stopped using the bark collar on her, but I thought it actually helped. Because I'm trying to take calls here and can't have a pup barking in the background.
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:17 PM
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I babysat my 1 year old neice while her parents were unpacking from moving. Every time they walked by us, my niece would start screaming in rage and terror that they weren't coming to her. She's a baby, a first baby, so she's used to having their undivided attention. They come into the room and grab her and love on her and them just walking by was both enraging and terrifying for her.

It was 8 solid hours of happybabyhappybabySCREAMINGBABYhappybabyrinserepea t. She's a baby, so I dealt.

It's the same with dogs, particularly puppies. Like my niece, "she comes back, stupid!" isn't a message that's going to get through.

I'd say the dog has separation anxiety, but quite frankly, I'd be scared of being left alone with someone who actively dislikes me, too. None of these behaviors will ever get better until you decide to be an adult and fully engage in caring for the helpless creature in your life. If you can't do that, the dog needs to be rehomed. It's not the dog's fault that your wife sprung a dog on you. It is the dog who suffers, though, as they always do for us.
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