I don't think it's unreasonable at all, to inquire and find out as much as you can from different breeders, even if you aren't "ready" to purchase a pup. A good breeder would welcome that kind of a well thought out process as opposed to the impulse buyers they are probably used to seeing. Any breeder who doesn't have time for your questions or who doesn't respect your decision making process, is one I'd steer clear of anyway TBH. If they don't have time for you before the purchase, chances are, they wont have time for you after...
Trying to find a breeder who also exposes their dogs to cats/kids is certainly a reasonable request as well.
I think more people should go about bringing a dog into their home with the same patience and methotical thinking that you are doing now, then there wouldn't be so many animals in shelters because IMO there is more of an animal retention problem in our society, than a pet overpopulation problem. If you go into it with a a positive and thoughtful attitude, you have a better chance of finding what you're looking for and the dog has a better chance of living out his/her years in one home, rather than several...
I spent the better part of a year, developing a rapport/relationship with the breeder I finally chose, before acquiring my dogs from her. I also, during that time, evaluated her show record, offspring, (and their titles, health & temperament issues) talked at great length with others who had some of her dogs and was very pleased with the outcome. I did not limit myself to one breeder though. I got to know about 4 of them on a personal level and although I liked them very much, I decided that I would rather not purchase from them for various reasons....so yes, it can be and probably should be a fairly involved and somewhat time consuming process, to find the right match, in terms of breeder compatibility (morals, ethics, etc) and the type of pup that will suit your family best.
You have to keep in mind that you will want to keep the lines of communication open with this breeder for many years to come, so choose wisely and try to find someone who is willing to be there for you, should you need advice, training recommendations, medical info, etc....rather than going with one who is not all that established and may not want to deal with you, "after the purchase" like many of them.
Take your time, enjoy the journey and don't feel like you are putting someone out or being a bother, a good breeder will think you are a breath of fresh air.
I hear you on the puppy broker issue, they can be very good at hiding the truth behind where and how the pups came about. Yet another reason to scrutinize the breeder thoroughly before committing to anything. I believe that longevity and reputation play a big roll in how much trust you can place in them.
We have a great sticky here on how to pick the right breeder- https://www.dogforum.com/general-dog-...g-puppy-11762/
this one is a good read too, about your responsibilites https://www.dogforum.com/general-dog-...ity-lies-9868/