Anxiety, sleep deprived, and all around feelings of "what were we thinking! A puppy?!

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Anxiety, sleep deprived, and all around feelings of "what were we thinking! A puppy?!

This is a discussion on Anxiety, sleep deprived, and all around feelings of "what were we thinking! A puppy?! within the Puppy Help forums, part of the Dog Training and Behavior category; Hi everyone, First off let me state that I feel like a total jerk for even talking about this and for feeling the way I ...

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Old 04-26-2014, 11:58 PM
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Anxiety, sleep deprived, and all around feelings of "what were we thinking! A puppy?!

Hi everyone,

First off let me state that I feel like a total jerk for even talking about this and for feeling the way I do.

My love my girl my chocolate lab x Maggie will be 7 this year and has been my best friend since I was blessed with her at 6 weeks weeks old, hard to believe she fit in my palms once...

Enter Roland -> the tibetian mastiff. 12 weeks of fluffy wonder weighing in at 35lbs sure to be a heavy weight contender, playboy/heartthrob and winner of many dog competitions.

I have forgotten what puppyhood brings and my hubby is a virgin to all things puppy like. Welcome rude awakening.... So here's the deal we have a strong will stubborn pup who's had generations of breedng to back that up. Tibetians are territorial guard dogs that decide what they are doing and not by your choice either.
Enter the potty training. - Roland is smart he knows how to ring the bell and chooses not to if he doesn't get his way. Hence the sunflower pattern on my carpets. Crate training is a challenge (again I know it's the first week but if I don't vent I will explode) he don't like it. Hence the high pitched barking for extended periods of time. When he's out he tests us and then once we think he's good he pees everywhere. He's banned to his kennel, the kitchen, and the three acres of land that he gets to roam very hour.
He eats mice, birds - we have two cats and live on an acreage so they bring home "gifts" from time to time and leave under trees etc.
it's been a rough week of no sleep, lots of accidents, and me trying to claim leadership of this small little dude. He has bitten me several times not nipping full on open mouth clamp downs, looked me in the eye and peed on the carpet via transport to the door. And the taunting & biting of Maggie has been a challenge. He thinks he's alpha and we gotta get this under controls fast before he's 160lbs of bad attitude.
My other problems are that we co-own him with the breeder (our friend)and she wants to show him. So he must be show quality: that means I must groom him, blow dry him, trim his paws on top and underneath as well as he can not wear a collar because the hair can not get broken. Practice his stance and shove my hands in his mouth...
Tibetians can not be off leash around other dogs and people because they do not come when called and they have the potential if not socialized properly to be aggressive.. Our friend did not educate us and we did not look into it ourselves. But apparently when they are 3-5 years old they turn into awesome dogs..... Sigh.......
We didn't research now it's gonna be a long hard road ahead of us and I am dreading it. Maggie was a high energy puppy but she listened and by nature wants to please so she was a easier pup than he is being. I hope that she can influence Roland and help guide him a bit along with our hard work and my struggle to claim the dominant position in the pack.
I feel awful for saying this but I don't like him. I am not enjoying this at all and we are so exhausted, overwhelmed and cranky that we can't enjoy the little dude. Please someone say it will get better, I know that we were not ready for a puppy and I would have rather adopted a mixed breed companion for the three of us not a snobby little show dog.

Last edited by Tanyalol; 04-27-2014 at 12:01 AM.
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:06 AM
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Part of your problem here is that you're relying on dominance and alpha theory, which is way, way outdated and in no way plays into training a puppy -- even a guardian breed. He's not trying to take over the house, he's not trying to be alpha, and you don't need to show him who's boss.

Check this out. It'll explain a lot.
https://www.dogforum.com/training-beh...nce-dogs-4076/

Seriously, read the sticky. It sounds like 90% of what's going on here is that he's not doing what you want because there's nothing rewarding about it for him, and for a guardian breed, that's so not gonna work.

We have a few LGD owners on the forum; hopefully one of them will pipe up.
@ruthcatrin, I've got a hunch you might be of assistance here.
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:14 AM
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Honestly, this just doesn't sound like a good fit. Not that you'll neglect him or anything like that, but that you are probably going to have major issues with training and behavior. TMs are more difficult dogs--ones that should not be acquired without a lot of research and consideration. Is there anyway your co-owner/breeder will take him back? If you explain your concerns and if she's any good herself, she should reconsider. I'm actually surprised she didn't do a better job of preparing you for such a breed. I don't often recommend this--usually I'd say "yes, it will get better," but I can't see this being worth the struggle until he "turns into" an amazing dog. (Turning into an amazing dog doesn't just happen, it's going to take serious commitment to training, socialization, handling, etc to get any dog there.)
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:35 AM
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Thanks for the feedback guys.

Crock - yes our breeder will.

My hubby's dog (rip) was a wild wolf hybrid that he found starving by a Indian reserve. Had him for 11 years before the old guy succumb to old age. We've had and been around dogs our whole lives and maybe it's a case of the blues but my gut feeling says otherwise.
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:57 AM
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1) Three months to housetrain a puppy is asking too much IMO. Small-breed dogs can take six months, even a year before they are totally solid in the behaviour. It's not somewhere you get in a week. Some dogs catch on straightaway but most do not, so brace yourself for potty-training 'hiccups' for up to a year. It does happen, even with the best of training.

2) Again, crate-training takes a bit. Most puppies have this malleable, lasckadaisical 'everything is okay' attitude at this age but they can still get fearful of stuff and when that happens the gut reaction is simply to slam on the brakes and not go any further.

3) Dogs do not obey an 'alpha' person so much as they obey a persuasive person. 'Do this because I own you' gives dubious results with the best of dogs and with stubborn breeds it's just folly. Think of if this way: do you obey your boss at work because you are evolved from apes and he is the alpha-ape of the relationship and therefore you show your submission by responding to his emails in a timely fashion? NO! You do it because you get paid. And just as in humans, every dog can be 'bought' with something: usually a treat of some sort, or play, or praise, or even the chance at a treat.

Could you do this? Probably. But it would take a lot of research, patience, self-discipline and work. If you cannot personally 'afford' that for whatever reason... turn back now. He's not even a stupid teenager yet!
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:56 AM
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Tanyalol - I'm going through something similar.

I rescued a 7 week old Rottweiler Lab mix from our Humane Society last week. I thought I was doing a good thing by getting my almost 2 yr old Choc Lab a "playmate"

Well what he really got was a chewy toy, and I have become a chew toy for the pup.

I heard "Lab mix" and kind of thought she'd be a lot like my Choc Lab - WRONG.
She's Rottweiler to her CORE and I straight up CANT keep up with her AND my Lab who's really just a puppy in an 80 lb dog body.

I'm struggling over feelings of wanting to get rid of her asap before I get even more attached. Haven't slept in days and I'm living in one eternal bad hair day.
I feel horrible because I don't like my pup much either. She's cute and all, when she's sleeping she's great. When she's awake, there's usually bloodshed.
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