Please help, new puppy!!

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Please help, new puppy!!

This is a discussion on Please help, new puppy!! within the Introductions forums, part of the DogForum Community Welcome category; I am one very confused and upset new time dog owner to a Labrador X 14 week old puppy. We have 3 young children (10,6 ...

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Old 11-30-2014, 01:35 PM
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Unhappy Please help, new puppy!!

I am one very confused and upset new time dog owner to a Labrador X 14 week old puppy. We have 3 young children (10,6 &3) who have always been a bit jumpy round dogs and so didn't force dogs on them. We talked at some length about getting a puppy of our own that we could train and incorporate into our busy family. I was looking one day and found Rocky, local to us and at 10 weeks old in need of a home as owners circumstances changed and they could no longer look after him. I am home at the moment but do plan on going back to work next year so thought I could be around. Also, Rocky's birth date is the same as my eldest daughter so was immediately suckered in!!
I talked it over with my family and we met Rocky, a lovely little black pup. Yes, we will take him!! Collect on Monday by Wednesday doubts began to trickle in. My children were a bit nervous around him as he jumped up and playfully nipped and even though a pup quite big against my 3 year old! I played with him and thought he was great despite the nipping, pooing and weeing, which was cracked quite quickly. However, the tables have now turned, the children and husband are bonding but unfortunately the initial desire for Rocky has worn off for me and now I'm left in a terrible dilemma! It is very stressful in my house with three boisterous, lively children all demanding my attention as they do and I'm afraid that Rocky may have been the straw that broke the camel's (or my) back I have become extremely emotional, feelings of complete despair and isolation at the prospect of having another body being dependent on me. Life was good before and I had things sorted, time to myself and then I got Rocky. Never having had a dog before ever it has proven to be one of the most testing times of my life and unfortunately has triggered a state of depression where I'm constantly crying and wanting to turn back the clock. I'm now under the doctor and on antidepressants. Rocky is a good boy, learning everyday,behaving well and attending puppy school, it's just me! I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown but wish no harm to the dog. I want him to be loved and part of a loving family which is why I'm finding the decision of whether to keep him or rehome him. I knew it would be hard, especially with a puppy, friends with dogs have been very sympathetic, but if I'd of known how hard and how I would be feeling now I probably would not have got him. The sad thing is we have only had him for 3 weeks but they have been the worst of my life. As I'm at home I would be the primary carer. If anyone can offer advice it would be really and truly appreciated. Thank you.
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Old 11-30-2014, 02:54 PM
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Sounds like the "puppy blues." Don't worry, it passes!
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Old 11-30-2014, 03:20 PM
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What you're feeling is very normal. I felt the same way when I got my puppy and then again when i got a 2nd dog. I cried and considered returning them. IT WILL GET BETTER. Its a huge adjustment. If you hang in there then things will start to fall into place and you will get used to your new routine and things will feel much less chaotic. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? Does he help out with the puppy?
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Old 12-01-2014, 01:46 AM
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Thank you for your responses. Yes, my husband does help but only evenings and weekends as he works, kids are at school so just me alone with puppy. My husband is behind me and is very supportive and only wants what is best for the family which is me being well. How long should I give it before I make the decision because it's affecting the family :-( thanks in advance.
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Old 12-01-2014, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by jambeck123 View Post
How long should I give it before I make the decision because it's affecting the family :-( thanks in advance.
Only you and your family can decide that.

I went through the same! My first day with my first puppy, I thrust him into dad's arms for doggysitting and drove to my hubby's worksite a couple of streets over and I told him we made a terrible mistake!

I'm pretty sure you have the puppy blues and if that's the case, it will feel very overwhelming, very stressful but it will also pass.

Try to take a moment of each morning to just sit down with the pup and pet him, rub his ears and wiggle them cheeks (his cheeks,lol)!

Have you ever heard of clicker training? If not, I recommend it, look up Kikopup on Youtube, she has great videos!
It helped my poor spirit a lot when I discovered Clicker training and how fun it is!
Do you crate him? If you don't already, look into crate training!
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Old 12-01-2014, 07:42 AM
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Thanks for your advice myrottenones, not sure how long I can feel like this and have to look out for the doggy too, not fair on him to feel rejected by the one who is the primary carer, not his fault and needs someone who can love him, scratch him and enjoy playtime and walkies. Family need a mum that can look after them and not have this haze over her. Lots of talking to do but all advice gratefully received
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Old 12-01-2014, 12:34 PM
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As the person who is ultimately home with the dog the most, I think that it is absolutely your call. Walking dogs during daytime hours, I see an inordinate number of moms who have been saddled with the family dog, out for the morning or afternoon walkies (or both!). Some don't mind the fresh air and can easily manage their dogs for a pleasant walk, and yet others, if you ask, will openly admit to resenting the dog. No animal deserves to have its presence resented.

For your own sanity, I strongly recommend crate-training the dog and even tethering him to your waist as you go about your business at home. A puppy is a handful, and moreso as they hit 5, 6, 7 months but these management techniques make the ride significantly smoother. As soon as the puppy is old enough, look into puppy kindergartens and obedience beginner classes-- this is going to be a fairly large dog and its important that you guys learn to cooperate! My mom had a ton of fun doing obedience with our dog and to this day ten years later he can still do stuff at her request that the rest of us wouldn't dream of asking him
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Old 12-02-2014, 03:22 PM
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I would suggest finding a reputable trainer near you. Start with some basic obedience... maybe look into some agility or hiking... some activity that may help you bond with Rocky. If the only interaction that you're getting with him is work, I can understand why you're feeling down about him.

Some of the best time with my pup is when it's just she and I in the woods. I'll often take her on hikes, bring her long leash and tie her to a tree while I sit and read. She usually basks in the sun or I'll bring a chew for her. We'll find a field and toss the ball around then head home.

Best of luck!
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