I am having a bad day...my heart is breaking

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I am having a bad day...my heart is breaking

This is a discussion on I am having a bad day...my heart is breaking within the Introductions forums, part of the DogForum Community Welcome category; I had to have my American Bulldog Otis put to sleep today. I adopted him, or rather he approved of me 5 years ago, from ...

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Old 01-22-2010, 04:09 PM
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I am having a bad day...my heart is breaking

I had to have my American Bulldog Otis put to sleep today. I adopted him, or rather he approved of me 5 years ago, from a no kill shelter. They said he would never allow another living thing near him, he only weighed 70lbs, was mistreated, abused...all kinds of things. But from the first day I met him I knew we were meant to be. He learned to trust and then love. He couldn't believe the life of luxury he got after all the abuse that had been heaped upon him. Had his own pool, slept in bed with me and after a couple of years let us bring other rescues into the house. He would give them a rough time for about 20 minutes and then would go noses to noses with them as if to say "Buddy, when I tell you about this place you won't believe it...you are going to love it here...just remember I'm the boss and mom is mine first!".

For as big and mean as he looked Otis was just a big SWEETHEART. Otis had been fighting an ongoing Staph infection since June. Surgeries, treatments, antibiotics, homeopathic meds, shots I gave him twice a week to boost his immune system and make him less sensitive to the staph...nothing worked. It was ravaging his body and while my head tells me I did the right thing, it is my heart that is BREAKING. He couldn't get up and down on the couch or bed without help, he was losing weight, I was giving him baths daily to try and cut the amount of staph on his skin...while I was discussing if there were any more options available for me to do (there weren't) He laid that great big ol' head of his in my lap, looked me right in the eyes and gave a big sigh that said "I tried, you tried, but enough's enough mom!" So I laid down on the floor with him and held him and petted his chest as he left...
I am having a hard time uploading any photos...stupid AOL
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Old 01-22-2010, 06:03 PM
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I'm so sorry!!! It's such a loss to lose our furry family members. I find this poem always helps me

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

-----------------------------------------------------------


When your ready to post pictures-it's super easy-all you have to do is right click on the picture-select copy-then paste it into the quick reply No need for photobucket or any of that. And he sounds like just a dear sweetheart-I'd for sure love to see pictures of him
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:11 PM
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I think the worst part of all this is that it brings back the pain and longing of all the pets you lost before.... I know in my heart that there is a Rainbow Bridge and that Otis will no longer be suffering and I will rub his chest for hours and hours....

I wonder if it's AOL of something I have in my settings...I copy the picture but it won't let me paste it.
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:33 PM
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It totally does bring back the pain-but it also brings back the memories. I know it's cliche but time does heal -at least so we feel less pain and we can smile and even laugh when we think back *HUGS* I think the only bad thing about dogs is their dreadfully short lives.

I've always thought this was a sweet story too
Quote:
Why dogs don't live as long as people...

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very much attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be
good for the four-year old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker'stransition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"

The four-year old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
If its letting you copy but not paste-try using 'ctrl' plus 'v' when your in the reply window-that works for me usually
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Old 01-22-2010, 10:51 PM
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My heart breaks for you. What a wonderful mom you were to Otis. He's up there watching over you and waiting.
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Old 01-22-2010, 11:16 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss It is so sad..Its like losing a close family member.
Why did you joint he forum? Are you planing to get another dog/puppy to try and heal your heart? or just here to talk?

I hope you feel better.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:17 AM
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Oh my heart breaks for you. You did the right thing, he had had enough and you took his pain away and gave him peace. I am thinking of you and send a big hug. xxxx
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:03 AM
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I have always rescued dogs...Homey (a pit bull mix) was found by me in 1986 weighing 8-oz and left for dead...I nursed him back to health and later adopted another pit that was on death row...named him Mugsy. They lived to be 19 and 20 years old. After I had to put them to sleep...advanced cancer and heart failure...they grew up together so I put them to sleep together. I spent 2 months crying and saying "NEVER AGAIN" it just hurts too much to lose them. Then I came across the Petfinder web-site and saw Otis for the first time...but I said I didn't want to go thru that hurt again.... I got his story...dope dealers dog, the dealer was killed and the dog was left chained to a beam in the garage...not fed...was darn near dead when the rescue got him. He was so mean and aggressive that only 2 people in the whole place could walk him. He was so dog aggressive that he had to be kept in a room in the basement cause he wouldn't calm down in the runs. OH...that is not the dog for me (my head said) my heart knew better. I kept going back to the site to look at him and finally put in a adoption form...I said I would come in to meet him. The only girl who could walk him there said she would take me in to meet him. I said OK...I had brought a magazine, pillow, treats with me. I refused to even look at him. Once I settled in on the floor on the other side of the room, I told her to leave...she didn't want to but eventually did. I just sat and read my magazine and totally ignored him. He laid on his bed for about 20 minutes just growling but I still wouldn't look at him...I just said very quietly " If you ever want to get out of here, I'm your best bet so suck it up Big Guy". Pretty soon he came up to me and started sniffing my feet, legs, etc. working his way up to my face. He stuck his big black nose in my ear and then started licking my face. I slowly reached up and began giving him ear rubs and chin scritches. 5 minutes later he was lying in my lap upside down while I gave him what must have been the first tummy rub of his life. The rest is history as they say...He became my boy. He was dog aggressive at first but I worked with him all the time, teaching him to play (he didn't have a clue) what chew toys were. When I went on a trip to Florida, Otis stayed home with Bill and while stopping for coffee filters one day I passed by a garbage dumpster by a store and a shoe box in there MOVED...there I found Moose...a very small terrier mix puppy (I still don't know what he is). He was very sickly and I took him in, got him healthy. When it was time to go back to Chicago my husband swore that Otis would kill him. I knew better...I was alpha dog and Otis would follow my lead...and he did. Otis and Moose became best buddies and believe it or not...18 lbs Moose bossed 120 lb Otis around. It looked like a parade in the yard...Moose first, Otis following.
Today the back yard looked so empty...Moose looked so lost and all alone that I just can't stop crying. Moose is lying on the couch, on the blanket I kept up there so that the sores Otis had wouldn't ooze on the couch. I find myself going there and just putting it to my face to smell his scent. I MISS MY BOY. The bed was so big and empty last night without him...no snoring or dream running.

I know I would have never met Otis if I didn't open up my heart to doggie love again...I am sure I will know when the time is right...but right now I can't even think about it.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:16 AM
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I am sorry for your loss, but you provided Otis with a wonderful 5 yrs before his time came. It never gets easier loosing a loved one, and you have support and hugs from me.

~MSE
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:28 AM
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Big Otis....Little Moose


"Killer" Otis with a 5 week old kitten I rescued!!


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