let my dog sleep in my bed part time?

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let my dog sleep in my bed part time?

This is a discussion on let my dog sleep in my bed part time? within the Dog Training and Behavior forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Dogs category; Does anyone have a dog that sleeps in their bed except when partner spends the night? If so, curious how it has affected your relationship ...

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Old 03-17-2019, 09:20 PM
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let my dog sleep in my bed part time?

Does anyone have a dog that sleeps in their bed except when partner spends the night? If so, curious how it has affected your relationship with your dog. Resent you? get jealous? resent partner? did it set crate training back?

For the record, she's only 6 months now and sleeps in crate at night. Full grown, she'll be ~15 lbs. I want to let her sleep in the bed but partner doesn't. Looking for potential compromise. Thanks!
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:57 PM
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Dogs in the bed

Since your dog is doing well in the crate at night I'd continue to do that. Let the dog nap with you on the couch if you need the snuggles instead of risking the dog getting confused or in trouble with your partner. Just my thoughts.
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Old 03-17-2019, 10:53 PM
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Since your partner doesn't want the dog in bed with you, I wouldn't invite her even one night. It's just going to confuse your dog.

My current dog Asher sleeps in a dog bed in my bedroom, and I had the same arrangement with my last dog Miles. They are close to me, but we have our own space. I spend a lot of time cuddling with Asher on the sofa during the evenings.
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:48 AM
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I have 3 dogs, and my husband works out of town for 4 nights a week, then comes home for Friday-Sunday.

When he is gone, all three sleep in the bed with me. (Two ~30 pound dogs, and 1 50 pound dog). When he is home sometimes all three sleep with us, sometimes we crate a couple, sometimes we crate all 3.

My dogs aren’t confused by this, nor do they resist sleeping where they’re told.

Your mileage may vary.
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:19 PM
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I've always had large dogs and they've always been allowed to sleep wherever they want. I personally won't lock a dog in a crate but I leave the crate open so they can go in there if they want to.
I love it when they want to sleep with me and never discourage it. If I'm dating or in a relationship I'm honest about that right away and if it's a problem I won't pursue the relationship.
To be honest the large dogs take up so much room that they usually don't want to be in the bed with two other people. If my current dog does decide to be that social, he always takes my part of the bed and stretches out as much as he can so I'm usually crushed into a little corner with no covers.

Plus my two cats insist on sleeping with me no matter what and raise holy hell if locked out of the room so it gets very crowded lol.
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:38 PM
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Brisco sleeps in bed with me sometimes and other times I have him sleep in his dog bed. He rolls with it.
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Old 03-19-2019, 04:39 PM
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Step one...new partner!
Lol, I’m kidding! Sort of.
My dog sleeps in bed with me and or “us” but doesn’t put up a fight on the rare occasion I say no. He doesn’t seem confused, other dogs may vary.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:30 PM
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Spooning with my dogs. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Originally Posted by jamkos View Post
I want to let her sleep in the bed but partner doesn't. Looking for potential compromise. Thanks!
Can the compromise with your partner be that your dog will sleep on your side only... or at the end of the of the bed on your side only?

You can certainly train your dog to sleep in a certain spot on the bed, if your partner will agree. I have trained my Puma pup (now 54 lbs) to sleep on my side only, right next to me. Most nights I literally spoon her to sleep. We tell her, go to your spot, and she happily plops down on that spot all night long. Initially she got treats every time she went there on cue... or on her own. Sometimes we still give her some small treats as reinforcers for her good choices.

But----I absolutely crate trained her as a pup!!! Sure made potty training so easy.

My Gracie dog sleeps on her own bed in our bedroom. Or she can sleep at the bottom of the bed-- on my side only! She startles easily and thus can "grump" or tweak, so it is far safer for her to only be on my side. But I actually prefer her to sleep on her own bed, so I don't have to worry about touching/kicking her by accident in my sleep. Our cue is "Gracie, time to go to your Dingo bed!" and then she gets a few pieces of cat kibble as incentive/reward/bribe to get off our bed.

She gets to hang out with us on our bed every night as we wind down and watch some tv before "lights out" time. Generally first I give Gracie some nice massage before she gets sent to her bed. Sometimes, she initially resists if it is super late and she is tired and all snuggled up on our bed. But we do our lil routine with her gently and then she will go. I get it. I hate moving off the couch to get up to go to bed when I'm tired. I figure it is the same concept with her at night.

Sparky, my sweet lil 15lb chihuahua doggie gets to sleep anywhere in our bed. Most nights he sleeps undercover, as we like to say at our house, in my butt

Thank heavens my sig other (we live together) is totally fine with our dogs sleeping with us. Honestly, I don't think I could have a relationship with someone that wasn't cool with it. My biggest dilemma at night? Do I spoon oneof my beloved doggies.... or my sig other??? Hahahaha. Your guess who I choose........................

Last edited by AthenaLove; 03-20-2019 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 03-21-2019, 07:39 AM
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Thank you all for your stories and suggestions! Not sure where we'll land (although I don't see banning her completely from my bed ), but definitely continuing with the crate until she has matured a bit and fully housebroken.
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:27 AM
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My boyfriend sleeps over most nights, but since we don't live together there are nights here and there that he doesn't. I have a 3.5 year old Boston Terrier who is about the size your dog will be as an adult (14bs), and a 2 year old Lab. I didn't meet my boyfriend until the lab was already about a year old, and since the lab was4 months old he has slept in bed with me.

I have a full sized bed, however, and with 2 adults there isn't room for a 50lb dog that likes to sprawl, so the lab can't sleep with us when my boyfriend is there, which is most nights. On the rare nights he isn't over, or when he has to wake up for an opening shift at 3am, the Lab gets to sleep with me.

My lab is allowed on my bed when invited, and gets off when told. He understands when we tell him to move to the foot of the bed so we can all sit together in bed, and he leaves when he's told that we're going to sleep. When my boyfriend is sleeping over, he sleeps right outside the gate across the room or on the couch. If I do not gate him outside the room, then he will sneak into the bed once we're asleep.

There is no reason there needs to be a hard and fast rule that the dog either always or never sleeps in the bed, but you need to expect that if the dog learns it can sleep in the bed sometimes, it's likely to want to sleep in the bed all the time. Likely you'll need some kind of barrier to keep her from being able to sneak in to bed like a crate or x pen or gate across the bedroom door when your partner is over. Also practice telling her to get off the bed so that you know she knows that as a command and will do it when told.
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