SO just told me it's normal our elderly dog has no quality of life & unhappy

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SO just told me it's normal our elderly dog has no quality of life & unhappy

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Old 10-16-2017, 09:50 PM
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SO just told me it's normal our elderly dog has no quality of life & unhappy

I feel almost speechless. I've been discussing euthanasia with my husband for the past few weeks because out 17yo dog has numerous medical issues for which she takes 5 meds daily. She's almost completely deaf and blind. He disagrees the above reasons should be reasons to euthanize.

A few minutes ago I asked him when the last time was that he saw our dog show happiness. He was unable to recall. I then asked about our dog's quality of life, excluding everything except her sleeping about 23 of 24 hours a day (because to me, that's no life for my dog to suffer through. I've had her since she was 6 months old.)

My husband's reaponse to my two questions was it's normal for her to be like this because she's old and accused me of always wanting to bring up reasons for wanting to kill her.

I'm not even sure what I could ask here to get possible clarity or opinions about whatever it is I need to know. I'm shocked, sad for my dog, stunned, and hurt. And confused. Please help.
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Old 10-17-2017, 09:15 AM
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So sorry y'all have to go through this.......several years ago we had to euthanize the best dog Ive ever owned due to cancer. Absolutely one the the hardest things I've ever done. Gut wrenching.
I selfishly held on to her too long, and in hindsight regret not letting her go earlier.
This is something the two of you will have to make an agreement on as hard as it is.....
At 17 the dog may just go on its own soon anyway, hopefully painlessly and peacefully.
The only real opinion I can give, is that from my perspective..... I wish I had let my girl go sooner.... So she could have gone with more dignity.
For me its the dignity thing I really regret
Wish you luck, and hope things turn out for the best. Stay strong
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Old 10-17-2017, 11:43 AM
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Its a difficult spot to be in, and there is no single answer that fits all. Quality of life is sometimes a bit of a grey area. If your dog is not in pain, eats, drinks and eliminates regularly, its even more difficult to define. IMO you should have a discussion with your Vet and get his or her advice. Your Vet is probably your best source of information as to the quality of life your girl may or may not have. Have your husband involved in that conversation. IMO the key question you and your husband must ask and truthfully answer is: am I keeping her alive for her, or for me? A truthful answer to that question, will point you in the direction you need to consider.
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Old 10-17-2017, 01:28 PM
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Thank you so much for your replies. I did forget one important thing in my OP: husband had to take her to vet yesterday for uncontrolled diarrhea and she was diagnosed with (I can't remember exact name now, head fog) too much bacteria in intestines. She started on two additional meds, total seven.

When I woke this morning, my husband said my question about our baby's happiness caused him to do a lot of thinking and he agreed she hadn't been happy about anything, no excitement about things she previously enjoyed, for months, and thought it was probably past time to put her to sleep. I didn't want to push it further at 6am, knowing we had hours to make arrangements and we would go today.

Within 10 min of him telling me, I realized I think she's actively dying and still is. She has only awaken when I tried to get her to eat (refused) and gave her medicine, crushed, orally, which she had obvious problems swallowing for the first time ever. I'm still laying next to her, on my bed where she's slept since day one. She seems to be resting more comfortably than she has for many months. I think as long as she's showing no signs of suffering, I am going to keep her home for her remaining time.

My husband is now supportive of whatever I feel is best for her.

I do have one question, if someone wouldn't mind sharing their opinion of what they'd do in our shoes: if she doesn't appear to be physically suffering, would she be suffering if she were still with us on X day? Is there a day when I should take her to be put to sleep instead of dying at home.

I'm going to call my vet about discontinuing meds except her pain med.

Again, thank you so much for replying with your opinions and for sharing your stories. It was likely awkward to reply seemingly wife vs husband situation. I'm grateful.
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Old 10-17-2017, 01:47 PM
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I'm sorry you have to go through this - I've been there, and it's hard.

When our Sheltie passed away, he was very obviously suffering but my brother was like your husband - he didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to let him go, either, but by the time we took him in to be put down, he'd suffered for longer than he should have (his suffering was quite apparent).

My Aussie is now 13 years old and she's had some minor health problems - I've talked to my mom and we've both expressed our concerns with waiting too long and what happened to Sam. We've agreed as long as she's got some quality of life (and she does) we'll do what we can to keep her up and moving. We're lucky in that she's actually pretty healthy right now *knock on wood*.

I'd say in your situation, she sounds like she's resting comfortably. I wouldn't let her "linger" for longer than a couple of days, so if she's still out of it by the end of the week, I'd go ahead and make that trip to the vet. Otherwise, keep an eye out for pain.

One tip that might be helpful: make sure that you know your vet's after-hours policy. If something goes really wrong and your girl has to go in the middle of the night, is your vet able to accommodate that or will you have to go somewhere else? Better to know now.

I'll be keeping you and your girl in my thoughts.
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Old 10-17-2017, 02:18 PM
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None of us can or should tell you what to do, but I go back to that key question! Am I keeping her alive for her or for me? Your answer to that, will shine a light on the path you should consider.
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Old 10-17-2017, 02:38 PM
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I agree with everything everyone has said. One thing stands out to me though.

Having trouble swallowing.

I'm just going to say it.
If she cant eat, its time.

My old girl got to that point with her cancer.

Once again, I'm so sorry for what yall are going through.
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Old 10-17-2017, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AintMissBehavin View Post
Thank you so much for your replies. I did forget one important thing in my OP: husband had to take her to vet yesterday for uncontrolled diarrhea and she was diagnosed with (I can't remember exact name now, head fog) too much bacteria in intestines. She started on two additional meds, total seven.

When I woke this morning, my husband said my question about our baby's happiness caused him to do a lot of thinking and he agreed she hadn't been happy about anything, no excitement about things she previously enjoyed, for months, and thought it was probably past time to put her to sleep. I didn't want to push it further at 6am, knowing we had hours to make arrangements and we would go today.

Within 10 min of him telling me, I realized I think she's actively dying and still is. She has only awaken when I tried to get her to eat (refused) and gave her medicine, crushed, orally, which she had obvious problems swallowing for the first time ever. I'm still laying next to her, on my bed where she's slept since day one. She seems to be resting more comfortably than she has for many months. I think as long as she's showing no signs of suffering, I am going to keep her home for her remaining time.

My husband is now supportive of whatever I feel is best for her.

I do have one question, if someone wouldn't mind sharing their opinion of what they'd do in our shoes: if she doesn't appear to be physically suffering, would she be suffering if she were still with us on X day? Is there a day when I should take her to be put to sleep instead of dying at home.

I'm going to call my vet about discontinuing meds except her pain med.

Again, thank you so much for replying with your opinions and for sharing your stories. It was likely awkward to reply seemingly wife vs husband situation. I'm grateful.
I can answer your question, and am in tears doing so because it takes me back to what I went through with my Shadow. Shadow, aside from the medications, basically faded away much like your girl is doing. He had no interest in anything, slowly lost his appetite although I could get him to eat a bit, and slept a good 20 hours a day, in addition to that he also had canine cognitive dysfunction and stopped recognizing me. He was not in any pain that I could tell (was in Rimadyl for bad arthritis) and I was content to just let him be.

Then came the day he simply would not eat, I spent the next 3 days trying to get him to do so, but he'd eat no more then a couple bites of whatever managed to peak his interest. I took him to the vet and was given some medicine to try and get him back eating. 2 days later I was back on the phone asking if it was O.K. to let him pass at home or if he would be in any pain. I was told he shouldn't be in any pain and it would be O.K. to let him pass on naturally. That was on Friday.

I had visions of my boy quickly passing away in his sleep, it did not happen that way. He continued to sleep much of the time, never ate another bite but still drank his water, and he began having watery diarrhea as his systems shut down, he also started throwing up. As the end neared he threw in an eerie howl now and then. I didn't and still don't think he was in any pain, but If he was still around on Monday I was going to take him to the vet and have him put to sleep. I took him out Sunday morning to potty, and had picked him back up to carry him inside, he howled one last time then passed away. To this day I'm still regret not ending it on Friday, I could have spared him those 2 days, and myself having to watch him slowly pass away in increments.

If your dog is at the point my Shadow was spare yourself the pain and heartbreak of a slow death. She may go in her sleep, but then she may not. You simply cannot tell. The lesson I learned that a natural death is not always a quick peaceful process and it's a less I wish I had never learned.

I'm so sorry that y'all are at that point, treasure the time you have left your girl, give her extra cuddles, and love, but if she's stopped eating completely let her go.
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Old 10-18-2017, 05:17 AM
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Shadow really struck home. My girl has doggy dementia, as well. I thank you for sharing what was obviously hard to even write. Yes, it's time for my baby girl today. Still hasn't ate, prob swallowing just liquid pain med, and since 1pm Monday, she's only been awake about two hours. She's been through so much this past year and it's time for mommy to ease her mental anguish, physical pain, and surely sufferings I'm not even aware of.

I stayed up all night holding her as she slept next to me. I love her so much and my world won't be as bright without her in it. Every day for 17 years, first thing I did was take her potty and feed her breakfast. Before bed - eat, potty, then put her up in bed on her blanket next to me to sleep. There will be holes of love not given, undone meals fed, time spent just preparing food, crushing med to make into liquid etc. I'll miss her forever. Everywhere.

I'm not sure why I'm going on about it as everyone here already knows - have read this book cover to cover at least once. Thank you to each of you who took the time to reply. I've been so desperate for guidance & had it not been for each of you, I don't know where we would have turned. My vet pretty well eroded my trust this past week, so coming here reading replies over and over last night gave me strength.

I desperatly want to be a selfish b**** and keep her here. After 2 weeks of telling my husband its our girl's time, I wish I could make myself be selfish enough to keep her home just one more week. Even if I could be that selfish, I'd likely easily talk myself out of it next week, too. I could never bring her one extra day of pain because I was so cruel. Im so sorry I rambled on.

I'm broken. I will never talk myself into being a pet owner ever again.

Thank you from my girl, Tiny Baby Weikle ?
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Old 10-18-2017, 06:46 PM
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Such an awful process at the end for many of us and our pups. I am so very sorry for your great loss.
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