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How do you deal?

This is a discussion on How do you deal? within the Dog Health forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Dogs category; Originally Posted by MorganE84 Ohhh yes. We've done many classes. Too many to count. Reactive Rover (she barks like a jerk a lot), puppy classes, ...

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Old 10-25-2017, 11:30 AM
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Ohhh yes. We've done many classes. Too many to count. Reactive Rover (she barks like a jerk a lot), puppy classes, hired a behaviorist to come to our house, also. They worked in the sense that yes she knows commands - but she's just so impulsive. And I finally had a trainer that said to me - you're not going to train a young dog to act like an old dog. That was our last class because I felt like she was saying that it's pointless to keep doing classes and time to mature was best for her.

To be honest, I hated her the first few months I had her. I was bruised and bloody from her slapping me with giant mastiff paws. She bloodied my grandmas arm - like skin shredded. She destroyed everything. I felt like she had a quota everyday of things to destroy. She has gotten better. But we still haven't gotten to the point of being friends. At her core she is very sweet but she's been very difficult. Especially compared to my older dog - who has been loving and gentle from the beginning.
What a terrible situation. I wish you the best.
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Old 10-25-2017, 03:46 PM
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I'm at my wits end. My 12 year old dog is sick. She has a form of myelopathy (not degenerative) and will likely have an MRI next week. She's having a lot of issues with mobility, falling, and paw knuckling.

I also have a 2 year old, 80 pound lab/mastiff who is very much a puppy. She's driving me insane. My older dog is my heart and soul and the puppy is so rough around her. The older dog just fell in the yard and while she was trying to get up the puppy was running circles around her and being so obnoxious. It's so infruriating because I'm trying my best to keep her safe. All the while I'm stressed to the max because this dog that I love so much has declined so quickly.

How do you care for an older dog that's declining and a younger dog? I'm at the point right now where I think the puppy needs to go somewhere else. Not just for my own sanity but honestly - her life probably sucks lately. I'm so engulfed in the care of the older dog. I just can't do it all.

I'm so sorry that you are going through all that!

It's so hard to care for an older dog, to remember how she was just a few short months ago and know how far they've declined. To just want them to be better, to rally and be with you at least a few more years. I got there with my boy Shadow.

It sounds like you have the added heart and head ache of your half grown, wild child, pup. Again, how you are feeling is normal. How dare this young pup make your girl's life even more difficult, etc... It's O.K. to feel that way.

I think that your best bet is going to be management. For the yard I'd get a tie-out to put the pup on when your old girl is in the yard. Put the pup on the tie out and then let your old girl out, make sure that the tie out is short enough that the pup cannot reach the old girl but long enough that she has some room to play. You might also want to consider giving her a puzzle toy, special chew, etc. so that being on the tie out is not a punishment but something she enjoys. You may need to do something similar in the house, either use crates, or extra tall exercise pens to confine her when your old girl is up and active, teach the pup that when your old girl is laying down she has to leave her alone.

Have you tried taking the pup to a large field and just letting her run and explore so that she gets some of that energy out? You could put her on a 50' long line so that you don't lose her, or find a fence area, nothing like running and exploring to wear a dog out and make it a better house companion.
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Old 10-25-2017, 06:17 PM
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I know exactly how you feel about your older dog, but puppies more often than not are not dissimilar from a tornado unleashed in your house. The added difficulty you have, is the puppy is very big, heavy and doesn't know his own strength. You bonded with your older dog and have been for years, so that makes you super protective of her, and angry at anyone or anything that threatens her, including and maybe especially the puppy. I know it must be devastating to helplessly watch your older dog decline, and just kind of fade before your eyes. Both my wife and I are so bonded with Samantha, she is without question a brilliant bright spot in our lives and is so much a part of us and our lifestyle. She will be nine years in January, and though in good health we know she is ageing which is depressing for us to contemplate. We do know that we will never get another dog while Samantha is with us, ( we wish for another 50 years, we wish) she functions very well as an only dog, and I do not believe she would ever adjust to our attentions to another dog, which is no problem as it will not happen.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:52 PM
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I know exactly how you feel about your older dog, but puppies more often than not are not dissimilar from a tornado unleashed in your house. The added difficulty you have, is the puppy is very big, heavy and doesn't know his own strength. You bonded with your older dog and have been for years, so that makes you super protective of her, and angry at anyone or anything that threatens her, including and maybe especially the puppy. I know it must be devastating to helplessly watch your older dog decline, and just kind of fade before your eyes. Both my wife and I are so bonded with Samantha, she is without question a brilliant bright spot in our lives and is so much a part of us and our lifestyle. She will be nine years in January, and though in good health we know she is ageing which is depressing for us to contemplate. We do know that we will never get another dog while Samantha is with us, ( we wish for another 50 years, we wish) she functions very well as an only dog, and I do not believe she would ever adjust to our attentions to another dog, which is no problem as it will not happen.
You did a great job of articulating how I feel. The puppy was a mistake but at the time I got her my older dog was healthy and active. We just moved into a new house with a big fenced yard - it seemed natural. Hindsight.

And you?re right - I?m fiercely protective of her. I?d move heaven and earth to make sure she has a fulfilling life. Hell, I?m paying $2,000 for an MRI that could very well tell me things are hopeless. But at the end of the day I want to know that I?ve done everything in my power to save her. I don?t want there to be any questions that I could?ve done more. She deserves that. Every animal deserves that.
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Old 11-01-2017, 07:56 PM
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So my baby had an MRI and she has cancer of the spine. I?m not sure I have any tears left in my body. She?s so sweet and gentle - she doesn?t deserve this.
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Old 11-02-2017, 11:26 AM
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Unhappy I'm so sorry.



I'm so sorry. No-one 'deserves' cancer, but animals in their innocence, least of all.
It comes in many forms, some more-aggressive & quickly fatal, others slow & often agonizing, but whichever shape it comes in, all are terrible for the family of the cancer patient.

I've been lucky in that none of my dogs died of any form - but i've lost human friends & family, over the years. It's heartbreaking.

Did the vet offer pain-meds? -
we use liquid morphine & other sub-lingual meds in hospice care for terminal humans. They're the easiest to administer, & they work blessedly fast; a very-small dose can be amazingly effective. I can attest to the tremendous relief they bring. Being pain-free or at least in minimal pain means able to eat, respond to family members, to have some quality of life.

How is she doing? - eating, drinking? Will she walk? - Does her rear need support?
Many clients' dogs with spinal diseases used slings to help get them to their feet, & support them for easier walking.

I'm so sorry this has come to U both. Is there anyone who can take over the puppy's care, for now? - A friend, relative, even a dog-savvy neighbor, so U can tend the senior dog?
- terry

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Old 11-02-2017, 11:27 AM
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I am so sorry, I have no words, only empathy and sympathy.
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Old 11-02-2017, 02:09 PM
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My heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry that that's the news you got.
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Old 11-02-2017, 03:35 PM
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I'm so sorry. [IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.dogforum.com/images/smilies/frown.gif[/IMG] No-one 'deserves' cancer, but animals in their innocence, least of all.
It comes in many forms, some more-aggressive & quickly fatal, others slow & often agonizing, but whichever shape it comes in, all are terrible for the family of the cancer patient.

I've been lucky in that none of my dogs died of any form - but i've lost human friends & family, over the years. It's heartbreaking.

Did the vet offer pain-meds? -
we use liquid morphine & other sub-lingual meds in hospice care for terminal humans. They're the easiest to administer, & they work blessedly fast; a very-small dose can be amazingly effective. I can attest to the tremendous relief they bring. Being pain-free or at least in minimal pain means able to eat, respond to family members, to have some quality of life.

How is she doing? - eating, drinking? Will she walk? - Does her rear need support?
Many clients' dogs with spinal diseases used slings to help get them to their feet, & support them for easier walking.

I'm so sorry this has come to U both. [IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.dogforum.com/images/smilies/frown.gif[/IMG] Is there anyone who can take over the puppy's care, for now? - A friend, relative, even a dog-savvy neighbor, so U can tend the senior dog?
- terry

Thank you so much. Our saving grace in this is that she?s not in pain. My neurologist said that the location of the tumor isn?t pressing on anything that would cause her pain right now. And she doesn?t act like she?s in pain. She?s still eating and drinking fine. She?s begging for food. She can walk but often needs help standing up. She can get in a sitting position but has trouble moving the affected leg to stand. I use a rubber resistance band around her abdomen when she has to poop. I have a large sling that I had to use after her MRI because the effects of the anesthesia made her legs pretty much useless. The neurologist said I could try her on a cart to see if that helps her. She doesn?t need a cart right now but we?ll see in the future.

She offered me treatments that I declined because they would be too stressful on my girl and not necessarily effective. So we?re doing rounds of prednisone. The neurologist said it should help her regain some mobility for right now but as the tumor grows, it will lose effectiveness and eventually stop working.

I just want more time. It will never be enough. But for right now I?m trying to take it day by day. This is the price you pay when you love an animal. And even tho it?s so painful, I?d do it a thousand times over to have my memories of her. She?s the absolute best.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 11-03-2017, 11:56 AM
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Send lots and lots of hugs your way. I know how painful this can be and right now I"m dealing with a dog with lymphoma and it seems like once a month I have a "is it her time" scare episode, and shes not even 6 yet.
I'm just enjoying all the good moments right now and thats all you can do. One other thing you can do is make a paw print ornament with her so you always have her pawprint around. I do that with all of my dogs. I have one of my "brother" who had to cross the rainbow bridge this july, and altho hes gone i look at that and can smile as I remember us doing that together. If you want to do that I can give you the recipe.
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