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Not Bonding with Puppy

This is a discussion on Not Bonding with Puppy within the Puppy Help forums, part of the Dog Training and Behavior category; Depending on the type dog, that just be what her breed does. Not all dogs like to run jump and play all the time. You ...

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Old 06-03-2012, 05:28 PM
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Depending on the type dog, that just be what her breed does. Not all dogs like to run jump and play all the time. You may doing too much for her age also. Did you discuss this with your vet to be sure there is not a medical condition? Sometimes you just have to let them be themselves. Good luck!
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Old 06-03-2012, 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted by farmgirl View Post

That was in October, how are things now? Did you try anything different that worked for you? I have the same problem now with my 4 1/2 month-old puppy that I got about 1 1/2 months ago from the shelter. She almost cringes at my touch sometimes, and even though I didn't notice it when I got her. But she was never really "loving" to any of us. More 'hit&run' to come to me & get the treat for the task. I work with her daily- walks, training, playing. I am setting the rules, boundaries & limitations/don't Punish her, just discipline.... One difference is that we have another dog...which she plays & plays & plays with most of the time and would rather do that than play with me or us. I read on another site to separate them, but that's not easy with such a small house. Before I read your problem & answers, and others today, I had been at my wits end this morning, feeling hopeless and almost wanting to think about rehoming, even though I just couldn't do it. I'd rather work on it....hope you did, too, but I am anxious to hear how it turned out for you.
Real quick to your comment I put in bold...I believe they mean to separate them to train

I would actually post your story as a new topic as you are likely to get more responses that way
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Old 06-03-2012, 11:29 PM
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How strange that this thread got new comments today. I don't use the email address that this site sends alerts to, and literally haven't logged into it (or here) for months. I happened to log into that email today and saw I had a new reply here - weird!

Anyway, I LOVE MY DOG SO MUCH! We are SO happy together. Our only major behavoir issue is, ironically, separation anxiety! (It's sort of mutual - we can't stand to be apart!) And, yes, we're working on it. : ) I don't think it's cute or anything. It's just funny to see what a 180 we've made from the early days. Lumi is going to be one year old in two weeks!!

Farmgirl, as far as if I did anything different or changed anything that made things better, I think it was just about waiting it out (puppies are crazy!), *and* letting go of a lot of anxiety. I had to stop stressing every time she jumped on someone even though I was trying to teach her not to, or every time she chose to sleep on the opposite end of the couch instead of on my lap. I had to just observe sometimes and let her do her own thing, and guide her the right way without expecting perfection from her. I had to just accept her for who she was, even though certain aspects aren't what I would have "designed" in my perfect dog, and just watch her grow. She's changed a lot naturally. She's a very affectionate dog, even though she really wasn't as a puppy. She loves to cuddle and be pet, but she still flips in a second to bitey, crazy puppy sometimes! A lot of her less favorable traits, I'm seeing, she's grown/growing out of. I'll be getting a second puppy someday (not soon!), and I plan to give the puppy at least several hours a day separated from Lumi. I would worry about a puppy bonding more with the current dog than the humans. It's just natural! If your older dog doesn't mind being crated, then maybe she can take a few naps during the day while you and the pup can get some bonding time. Even it's just hanging out and not active training. And, like Pawzaddict suggested, you might want to creat your own thread to get more feedback. : )

Jpcrosby, thank you for the input! I did have to just let her be herself, you're absolutely right! She's a great dog and I realize now that the *biggest* problem we had was my own expectations and worries getting in the way of just enjoying her great qualities. : )
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:22 AM
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My name is Dara, and I live in Cambodia and I understand how difficult it is to have a new dog.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:36 AM
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pawzaddict, thank you for the suggestion to start a new thread. I'll do that.

snowpup- I am SO glad to hear how things are going for you & Lumi- it gives me hope and I can see you are very happy .
It is strange how you happened to look the same day I posted the reply when you haven't been to the site in ages! wow.
I do expect too much and have anxiety over getting it right, so that's a biggie. I'm sure she's picked up on the anxiety, too. My last dog was "different", as we called him. He was a chocolate lab, that NEVER chewed anything he wasn't supposed to (didn't even try), didn't jump up, bark, & all the things you'd expect from a puppy, especially a lab. He was so smart & trainable except the leash & recall (my fault in the training process). I had him 14 3/4 years, and he was my everything. I promised myself that I wouldn't try to make my new pup live up to him, and I've been pretty good at it, but to have a dog that didn't even "like" me (I know that's not a correct feeling for a dog) really threw me for a loop. I'm already feeling better about it after reading all I did yesterday, and now you have truly helped knowing how things are going for you. thanks!
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:12 AM
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I am so glad everything worked out for you Snowpup. Puppies are a challenge but are well worth the effort.
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