Not Enjoying New Puppy

Olliedog

Hi there, I am very glad to be here and hope that someone can offer some advice and/or comfort to a couple of new puppy owners. My spouse and myself adopted a mix breed puppy (believed to be boxer/shep/lab) a few weeks ago. He was just over 9 weeks old when we brought him home, and we were off to a great start. He is generally a well-mannered puppy who is calm but confident in new situations, around new people, and when he encounters other dogs and animals. He immediately took to potty training, and also learned “here”, “sit”, “down”, “paw”, and we are working on “leave it”, “watch”, and “stay”. He generally walks loose-leash at our side, and recently realized how to play fetch. We are a young active couple with sufficient time and love for a dog, and I have raised other puppies (while this is his first). He sleeps comfortably in his crate all night, comes out for exercise/play/etc. for about 2 hours, then is crated for two 3.5 hour chunks (with an hour break to play outside in the middle) while we work. He has lots of mind-stimulating toys, and does not seem to mind his crated time. When we arrive home, he is out of the crate until bed time (about 7 hours, from 3-10) – outside with us, playing, going for walks, and relaxing at our feet.

Now that I have set things up for you, I want to say that despite all of our dogs’ great traits – we are not enjoying him like we should be. We really want to appreciate and take advantage of his puppy months, but he is now driving us both CRAZY. I realize the behaviors I will describe below are fairly typical, but I have not had the same problems with my past puppies, and am looking for suggestions and guidance. Specifically, I am looking for both constructive training/behavioral ideas, but also ideas on how we can have more FUN! with our puppy – for both of our sakes.

1. While he went weeks with no accidents in the house, whining whenever he had to relieve himself, he now pees at will throughout our home with no warning.

2. He does not “enjoy” going outside. We are outdoorsy people who love to go to the park, lay in the grass, etc. and from the moment we leave the doorway he is looking longingly back at our home, or trying to pull towards our yard. He previously loved going for adventures and would trot politely alongside us, but now he drags behind us if we walk even a few meters from our door. He has just as much (if not more) energy when it comes to playing and being destructive as he had previously, and there has been no traumatic event marking his desire to stay home. In fact, we used to play “fetch” in a small ball field area (completely enclosed), until the past few days – when he has attempted to find ANY means of escaping the fence to run home. He does not seem particularly scared or upset, just like he would really rather chew on our furniture than play outside. We have tried rewarding consistently with treats and praise when he walks with us, but he doesn’t seem overly motivated by those things – I think he hears “good boy!” so much that he no longer cares.

3. He no longer even attempts to listen to the commands he had very readily learned. Particularly, he completely ignores my spouse and refuses to focus on him with any attention. They are home alone together a lot of the time (I work longer hours), and it is becoming very taxing on my spouse. He does not listen to basic commands like sit, down (which he responded to about 90% of the time during the past weeks), nor does he respond to our more urgent requests not to chew power cords or jump on neighborhood children. I realize that puppies are not going to be 100% consistent – but it was a sudden change from listening and being fairly polite, to ignoring us and the “rules” completely.

4. He constantly rips at our pantlegs when we are walking. The “leave it” command is not proving to have any success with this, any advice you have about discouraging this would be wonderful. In fact, we need help with “leave it” in general when it comes to destroying anything he can reach on the floor. He is still leashed in our home, but the moment you look away to the tv screen he has inhaled a cord, gnaws the coffee table, or eats a few cat toys.

Basically, we are constantly annoyed and needing to "cool down" so we can maintain patience – and it is hurting our relationship with our puppy. We really want to ENJOY him, play with him, and bond with him but are at a loss on how to engage him and train him, like a dead end. We have both begun dreading our time with him, where we will try to drag him to the park, try to play with him with no real attention/engagement, listen to him whine to go home, have him hanging off of our pantlegs, or have him messing in the house. How can we connect and bond and have FUN with our lovely puppy, while also working on improving the negatives that are driving us crazy? We are willing and capable – we just need a gameplan!

Thanks in advance, and I hope we don’t seem too horrible! We just want to be the best pet-parents we can be.

NOTE: He has not yet received all of the vaccination schedule necessary to attend the dog park or puppy training classes, but we intend to add both to our days ASAP. He does, however, have doggie playdates with the dogs of a family member.

I apologize if you witness this as a cross-post, I have shared it on a couple of forums in hopes of getting some advice. Thanks!

pawsitiveside

You're dealing with typical puppy stuff.

1. The dog is peeing in the house at will. Okay, take him to the vet and make sure he doesn't have a UTI or something. If he doesn't, it's time to go back to potty training 101. That means starting him over with the crate, wee pads, or whatever you used to make him successful in the first place. You might have moved the training to fast or gave him too much free reign too early. Or you might not have reinforced him enough outside. Who knows, but if he's going inside the house again, it's time for you to correct him by re-training him.

2. Did he have a scary experience outside? Or is being inside more pleasurable then being outside for him? I would suggest using treats and toys when you take him outside to build a positive experience for him. Start by giving him peanut butter, chicken, or something yummy as soon as he steps outside, then gradually move him further and further from the front door at his own pace.

3. You guys do realize that you have a puppy, right? And that puppies go through a stage where they 'test the boundaries' just like a teen does. Again, take him back to basic training 101. My first hunch is that you somehow tampered the commands. Have you asked him to 'come' and then punished him? Have you asked him to 'sit', but didn't praise or reinforce when he did it? Or, when he didn't come, sit, stay, leave it, etc. did you reinforce his ignoring you by giving up or still giving him some type of reward? I've seen many people tamper their dog's training in this way. Whatever the cause is for him ignoring you, the fact remains that you need to start training over again. Basics 101. Also, move at his pace. Keep the sessions short.

4. This is a case of bad puppy management. Why are their chords within the puppy's reach? If you don't want the pup to have something, then don't allow him to have access to it. This is a PUPPY! A BABY ANIMAL! Treat it the same way you would a human baby. Childproof the cabinets, take things off of the floor, supervise, supervise, supervise.

Biting at the pant legs is normal. Tons of puppies do this. What I do is make a sound "CH-CH!" that gets the dogs attention. Once he stops and looks at me, I praise him and give him a toy that he can play with. When the dog is biting at your pants, it's important that you don't move at all. If you move, you're making a game for him and actually reinforcing this behavior. He's trying to play with you the same way he would play with his litter mates.

In my opinion, you guys weren't ready for a puppy. The fact that you're getting annoyed and allowing a puppy who is doing typical puppy things 'ruin your relationship with him' is really quite ridiculous. Basically what your saying is "My baby animal is acting like a baby animal and its ruining our relationship!"

Reality check - it was your idea to bring the puppy home. Not the puppy's idea. You're the one who chose to get a puppy and also decided to take on the responsibility of having a puppy. Quit blaming the puppy for things that you and your spouse aren't ready for and aren't managing well.

You may want to consider hiring a dog trainer. He or she will help you to see where you may have tainted the obedience commands. He or she may also be able to get an idea as to why puppy doesn't want to go outside.

I'm sorry if this response seems a little short-fused, but I am constantly running into people who bring home a puppy then complain, complain, complain as if everything is the puppy's fault when it isn't.

Criosphynx

First off, I want to say pawsitives post is spot on. You should post more often!


this is a supervision thing. At the age he is now (i gather about 12weeks?) he should not be unsupervised at all, so watch him. Also get him checked for a uti, its a simple and inexpensive test.
hes very young, it could be spooking him. If hes not into the treats, get better ones...if you find the best treat ever, and he still wont take them outside, that means his fight or flight response is engaged and you need to aproach this differently.
hes a baby, he hasn't learned the commands yet. There is som'thing called "generalization" and dogs dont' do it well. You need to have the command on cue in 20 locations, under distraction before the dog "knows it". Som' thing as simple as a different tone of voice, or standing on a different side of the dog can make them not understand.

example
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybpYFTOGRvA

OR...you guys have failed to reward the behaviors enough, which is likely since you are under the impression he knows them. Even a dog that knows a behavior, under intense distraction, needs to still be rewarded occasionally, and not with praise.

how did you teach a leave it? I find alot of people just use this command and expect the dog to know english.

I would reteach it if I were you. Here

YouTube - How to teach 'leave it'- without intimidation



two suggestions for you

YouTube - clicker training

How to play tug of war with your dog – and have the happiest dog on the block. - Natural Dog Blog – Training and More


you just sound overwhelmed. I think if you take up CT and TUG you will be good, as far as stimulating him.

Olliedog

[quote=pawsitiveside;64772]You're dealing with typical puppy stuff.



4. This is a case of bad puppy management. Why are their chords within the puppy's reach? If you don't want the pup to have something, then don't allow him to have access to it. This is a PUPPY! A BABY ANIMAL! Treat it the same way you would a human baby. Childproof the cabinets, take things off of the floor, supervise, supervise, supervise.

I am going to be honest and say that I think it's unrealistic to remove every single thing from puppy's reach. He is always on a leash or umbilical when inside, but I cannot remove all of the furniture or necessary cords from his potential reach. He is ALWAYS supervised, but my eyesight does OCCASIONALLY drift to other things -- like a screen, and I don't think putting him in his crate that he is already in for the workday is the "right" answer to seconds of distraction.


In my opinion, you guys weren't ready for a puppy. The fact that you're getting annoyed and allowing a puppy who is doing typical puppy things 'ruin your relationship with him' is really quite ridiculous. Basically what your saying is "My baby animal is acting like a baby animal and its ruining our relationship!"

I think this was undeniably rude. We are adults who have had many well-cared for, loved, and well-mannered pets -- INCLUDING past dogs. I think it is arrogant of you to think that you yourself have not felt like we do (just like people forget their adult dog was once a bad puppy), or that it makes us less ready than other homes. We have the money, time, love, and ability to be a good home -- and are seeking guidence instead of dropping him off at the SPCA at the first sign of inconvenience. If this is how people are responded to with genuine concern and questions, that completely feeds our anxieties about not doing things "right", being bad owners, etc. If we were not ready -- with our self-education, experience with pets including other dogs, volunteer time, etc. then who is? With that philosophy really no "new" dog owner, should have become one -- since they may become insecure, impatient, upset, or not know how to deal with situations and may seek help on "friendly" internet forums.

I DO think he could be readily learning to behave better, if someone would share tools instead of suggesting we just let him be a "baby" welcome to behave as he wishes. I am thankful for your helpful comments, but find your ending totally unreasonable as if we are children who did not think this through. We have read books, researched breeds, are long-time SPCA volunteers, and I have raised puppies before (one of which I fostered is now only 11 months old and now at his new home, well-trained and polite, and he WASN'T anything like our current puppy to train -- hence the new frustrations).

We already do a significant number of these things you have assumed we are too stupid and incapable to do, and I was merely seeking some suggestions on how to get back to making steps forward while returning a positive happiness to our interactions instead of constant "leave it!", "sit!", whining, biting, and being crated for cool down while we feel frustrated.

Thanks anyway, though.

pawsitiveside

Ollie says:
I am going to be honest and say that I think it's unrealistic to remove every single thing from puppy's reach. He is always on a leash or umbilical when inside, but I cannot remove all of the furniture or necessary cords from his potential reach. He is ALWAYS supervised, but my eyesight does OCCASIONALLY drift to other things -- like a screen, and I don't think putting him in his crate that he is already in for the workday is the "right" answer to seconds of distraction.

My response:
I said that the dog shouldn't have access to things that are dangerous to him. That doesn't necessarily mean that you need to move chords and other things from the floor. However, you can cover them by using carpets, tape, and things like that.

Second, I haven't felt the way that you felt when it comes to owning a puppy. I understand that a puppy is just that, a puppy. If you weren't ready for the supervision and responsibility that comes with having a puppy, you shouldn't have gotten one. You should have stuck to an older well-mannered dog.

Having the money, time, love and ability to be a good home is not the same as actually being a good home.

I'm not saying that you're a terrible owner, but I do want you to understand that placing your feelings of frustration on the puppy isn't fair. You and your spouse are responsible for the puppy, just as parents of a baby are responsible for the baby. If a baby cries all hours of the night, how often do you hear the parents complain "My baby's cries are ruining our relationship with him!" Ya don't, and for good reason.

I would simply advise you to be more understanding of your puppy and how he sees things.

You may have had puppies in the past, but that isn't doing much for THIS puppy. Volunteering with the SPCA shows that you care about animals, but doesn't necessarily mean your fit to be a good owner either. I know several people who support SPCA but are terrible owners.

I don't know you so I can only go off of what you've posted, and what you posted sounds like you're overwhelmed and weren't ready for a puppy. You can call me rude if you want, but you did come in here asking for advice and stating that your puppy is ruining your relationship - which I still think is ridiculous.

At any rate, I wish you luck with your pup. If you do decide to get a dog trainer, you can look for one in your area at Association of Pet Dog Trainers - Dog Training Resources

Oh, and here's a good resource for ya. Ian Dunbar has free ebooks titled 'Before You Get Your Puppy" and "After You Get Your Puppy" at his website Dog Star Daily

Good luck.

kmes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olliedog I am going to be honest and say that I think it's unrealistic to remove every single thing from puppy's reach. He is always on a leash or umbilical when inside, but I cannot remove all of the furniture or necessary cords from his potential reach. He is ALWAYS supervised, but my eyesight does OCCASIONALLY drift to other things -- like a screen, and I don't think putting him in his crate that he is already in for the workday is the "right" answer to seconds of distraction.

It is great that you are crate training and supervising your puppy! However if he is still chewing up things he shouldn't then you need to do a better job watching him and puppy proofing the house!
Do some research on ways to puppy proof your home.
You could try bitter apple spray on the furniture and buy cord protectors. You can even make your own cord protectors with pvc pipe.

Remember the reason to puppy proof your home is primarily for the safety of your puppy. They really just don't know better. Their cuiousity, desire to chew, and to pick up small objects can really have serious consequences!
Personally I would rather overdo the puppy proofing than have something happen to my puppy. If that means that everything movable needs to be picked up and put out of reach so be it!
Remember you can always bring it back out later after your puppy is more trust worthy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olliedog I think this was undeniably rude. We are adults who have had many well-cared for, loved, and well-mannered pets -- INCLUDING past dogs. I think it is arrogant of you to think that you yourself have not felt like we do (just like people forget their adult dog was once a bad puppy), or that it makes us less ready than other homes. We have the money, time, love, and ability to be a good home -- and are seeking guidence instead of dropping him off at the SPCA at the first sign of inconvenience.

I don't think anyone was purposly trying to be rude.
I think most of us here would certainly agree that it is far better to ask for help than to drop your puppy off at the shelter. I for one, am glad you are asking for help.

If you read back through prior posts you will find that there were many excellent tools/training tips shared. In particular look at the links shared by Crio! She really knows her stuff!

I just want to reiterate that at such a young age your puppy just does not understand all of the commands you think he should know! It is unrealistic to expect a young puppy to follow every command all of the time. He has not recieved enough training. It takes a lot of time for dogs to learn to follow a command in all situations and with distractions!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olliedog We already do a significant number of these things you have assumed we are too stupid and incapable to do, and I was merely seeking some suggestions on how to get back to making steps forward while returning a positive happiness to our interactions instead of constant "leave it!", "sit!", whining, biting, and being crated for cool down while we feel frustrated.

No one said you were incpable or stupid! You asked for help, and you recieved some suggestions. If you already are doing what was suggested then you are on the right track. You didn't specify what methods you were using, so no one here could know what you are doing!

As far as having positive interactions again please look at the clicker training and tug links posted by Crio.

And remember that your puppy is just a baby. He is also still adjusting to his new life! You really need to be patient and kind! Good luck!

pawzaddict

Hi welcome to the forum. I think a common mistake on our part as an owner is we figure our dog gets it and we don't need to keep training but we do, especially with young dogs. He just needs more time training and supervision also as for outside some dogs just don't care to play outside. I don't know where you live but it could be too hot or he could have had a bad experience outside.
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pawsitiveside

Sweet, simple and short. Very true.

GreatDaneMom

[quote=Olliedog;64774] no one said you were too supid to do anything. you were seeking advice and you got it. now you dont like it..... go figure

and as far as positive happiness. YOU need to apply that. thats part of training. even when you tell him leave it, when he does what you ask REWARD HIM. praise him. BE POSITIVE. and i dont see a need for constant sit.... i rarely tell my dogs to sit at home unless its needed. (ie before getting a treat)

fawkese1

nobody here called you stupid. they offered you very solid advice... the first most important thing to do here is realize that he is a puppy.... end of story... i think they were just trying to point out to you that your expectations of him are more than a bit high. it's unfortunate that you took it that way.

now lets try to focus on the things that you can be/are doing here...

first, can you be a bit more specific with how much exercise and training you are giving him? what type of methods you are using to train him? what types of toys does he have to play with? what are you doing to encourage good behavior from him (ie chew this toy, not that cord)?

what method are you using to potty train? has anything scary happened to him while outside?
did i miss your answer/response to whether he has been checked for a UTI? if a UTI has been ruled out, then this may help you:
House Training How Tos:

have you had a chance to check out the links that crios posted? i think you'll find them very helpful.... in the "big picture" i know that it is extremely frustrating to deal with what humans think is "bad" behavior, but as you said yourself, this is really typical puppy behavior, i've found that if i focus on rewarding behaviors that i want, and ignoring or interrupting behaviors that i don't want, i'm happier with my dog, and he is happier with me.

oh, and from the mix of breeds you described, it sounds like you have a pretty high energy guy there, as he gets older, his energy level and exercise/stimulation needs are going to increase, for the next couple of years... thankfully so too should his emotional maturity... but you may want to look into a dog sport of some sort in order to channel all that energy and drive he is bound to have...

hope that helps...