Bill of Rights for Rocky
Now that a Bill of Rights recognising the rights of pets has been passed by Government, I have told the Old Man that:
He may sit in the recliner
but only so long as he does not take up too much room,
He will be taken for a walk on a lead each day
but only so long as he does not pull on the lead,
He will be fed on time
but only so long as he leaves a taster as tribute to me,
He will be allowed in the car
but only so long as he sits in the seat with the big wheel,
He will be allowed in the garden at all times just in case he wants a pee,
He will be shut away in the lounge or study as and when he misbehaves
He will at night turn off all lights, stop all noises, sleep only in his bed
He will at all times in public behave with decorum
He will fetch and throw the ball; I will catch it.
He will greet visitors at the front door cordially. I will do the barking and the sniffing.
He will not bring into this house any strange dogs.
He will not frighten the neighbours.
He will not put any plate in the dishwasher until it has been inspected by me for cracks
He will not wake up nor move about until daylight the following day.
He will not chase cats; they are mine.
If he fails in any of these scenarios and persists even after regular human training sessions on Saturdays with that nice Dog Handler man, then he will be reported to Animal Welfare for further action.
Yours
Rocky the Rottweiler
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