Anthropomorphism

AmazingMutts

I can now understand why trainers get so irritated with people who anthropomorphisize their dogs. Seriously. You tell someone NOT to do something with their dogs like....say, baby them while they whine for attention....and what do they do? They baby them and do the annoying "Whats the matter little puppy?" in baby talk after you SPECIFICALLY tell them not too!

Why is it soooo hard for people to understand that dogs speak a different language then humans? And why is it that they won't listen to people who have at least a small amount of understanding of that language? It's highly frustrating.

My boyfriend is constantly catering too and cooing his dog (which, of course, has also become my dog). I'll explain something to him, ask him not to do something (such as overfeed the dog, who was once 80 lbs because he and his ex-wife would feed the dogs 6-8 waggon trails chicken treats a day, along with shredded chicken and cheese for her meals, along with vanilla frostees and sugar wafers) and what does he do? EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED HIM NOT TO DO!!!!

GAH!!! It is soooooooooo annoying!!! I want this dog to be confident but she whines all the time. She's extremely needy and my boyfriend and his ex-wife used to feed into this. Now that the dog is doing some training, she's learning to think for herself. She's moved from being depressed to having energy but being confused and anxious, which I think is completely understandable. She's gone from having no training, no exercise, no rules and the ability to eat what she wanted when she wanted to the complete opposite.

When I put my foot down with the dog (ie: tell her no, set boundaries, etc.) she runs to her daddy (ie: my bf). Of course, he cuddles her, pets her, does baby talk to her..........god, it's seriously very annoying.

I can't wait to get my own dog. I'm sick of this crap. It's also embarassing to me, as a wannabe dog trainer, to have a dog who's overweight, whiny, and overall pathetic. She's a smart dog, but my other half won't work with me when it comes to behavior modification, training and food intake. Part of me wants to back off but the other part doesn't think that would be fair to me or the dog.

Grrr......

fawkese1

lol... that is quite a rant! and i totally hear you on this... seriously, i have some of the same issues in my household... lucky for me, my dog bonded to me almost instantly, like within seconds he was like "i'm yours"... anyway, the best suggestion i have for dealing with this is to be as consistent with her as you can and hope that she starts to respond to you (it actually sounds like she already is) dogs really thrive on routine and consistency...anyway, show you bf what you can do with his dog, and maybe he'll jump on board?

as far as the why people do it... sheesh! itis just human nature i suppose it is annoying, but even i find myself doing it from time to time, watched a super good documentary on it that i got from netflix... it was called "dogs that changed the world" great insight into why we treat dogs as we do and how they evolved and stuff...

good luck dealing with your bf

Criosphynx

Thats what I was going to suggest. I also talk about what Iam doing and why, but with no strings. Not like "hey do it this way" but more like "i do it this way and this is why". Mine got on board after a while.


In a way, I know how you feel. Every person wants their own dog to be really good, as its a reflection of the trainer. I still have anxiety about this myself.

AmazingMutts

The dog does listen to me very well. In fact, three days ago, the bf was complaining that the dog listens to me more then him. So, he knows that the dog training is working.

Good idea regarding the approach to the situation. 'This is what I do and this is why.' I kinda did that with him this morning. He was upset when I told him that I fed the dog her dinner in her kong last night. Of course, she had a blast with it but he got upset about it. He doesn't think its 'fair' that she had to 'work' for her food. I explained to him that Sara had a great deal of fun eating her food in this way because she has a natural predator drive in her. Working for her meal is an enjoyable experience for her. If she didn't like it, trust me, the dog would let us know! After that, he eased off a bit.

Thanks for the advice and for letting me rant!

Fawkese - I'll be on the look out for that movie!

espencer

I have come across with this multiples times when people try to disaprove flooding for example. They bring human examples of people in that situation, but dogs are not humans

Wicked

I think everyone does this to an extent. I certainly talk to my dogs. I don't hold conversations with them, but I speak to them when it's not necessary . Personally I don't think it makes them any worse for wear. Anthropomorphizing is however dangerous when taken too far. I have seen countless people take this to the extreme. They actually speak sentences to the dog and expect them to understand what is going on. That's when it gets dangerous. People begin to expect their dogs to understand what they're saying. When the dogs don't comply, they get corrected. This creates a horribly unstable environment for the dog. They are constantly walking on eggshells, for better or worse.

Maybe have a talk with your man about how important it is to your future career that the dog doesn't damage your reputation (in reality though, I doubt people would judge you too harshly upon meeting your spouses dog). You could ask him to be one of your first "clients" and perhaps he could help you hone your skills as an instructor (it's one thing to know dogs, another to be able to convey your knowledge to other people).

MySoulmateEmmy

Oh, I know that Emmy is a dog and she does dog things and not human things but I just cannot help viewing her anthromorphically most of the time. I do spoil her and have convos. with her and the world revolves around her in my eyes :P etc., but I also don't let that excuse the fact that she should have good manners and cannot do some "human" things and walk all over me and I am not about to do seriously unneeded things I think some owner feel their dog REAAAAALLLLY needs, but they really don't (unless there is a reason truly why the dog needs those things). I understand that they don't view things the same as we do. (dogs)

I dunno how to explain, but if that makes sense, I think you should treat dogs similarly to how you would treat a human child (except in a "dog way") you wouldn't let your child act like AmazingMutts explained about how her BF's dog is), and grow up to be a brat. Why should you let your dog? people think, I think, that because its a dog it'll be more harmless to do that to them than a child, but in truth, THAT's when accidents or misbehaviors in dogs happen. I can see why your frustrated that people can't see that AmazingMutts.

~MSE

Sarah

I can definitely feel your frustration, but don't have any more suggestions than what has already been said. Just continue working with the dog when you get a chance and hopefully your boyfriend will catch on that she actually enjoys having some "rules" and not being so dependant on other people.

Anyways about talking to dogs like they're human... I know they don't understand me but I talk to my pets all the time. Even when I'm talking with my boyfriend I sometimes include my pets into the conversation. Normally about silly things just for fun. I'm just weird like that. I also sing to my pets and make up goofy songs about them that I would never sign out loud in public cause people would probably think i'm insane. haha. This is what happens when I'm bored at home and the only living things around to communicate are my pets. I'm not as sad and lonely as I seem. haha... at least I hope not.

My mom buys those bones filled with peanut butter for her dog, and once she has gotten all the peanut butter out close to the edge and can't get anymore. My mom feels bad and she goes and gets a kitchen knife and digs the rest out for her. She says she doesn't like to see her trying so hard when she knows she can't get to the goodies and she has to help her.

MySoulmateEmmy

LOL this is how I am like :P

~MSE

Sarah

At least I don't feel so alone with my weirdness now. haha